Their first album Playing with a Different Sex is considered a post-punk classic with strong, sarcastic songs like "It's Obvious" and "We're so cool" taking a dry look at gender relations. Other songs, such as "Armagh" with its refrain,"we don't torture" took a pro-republican look at the then ongoing "Troubles" in Northern Ireland, which caused some controversy at the time.
The band's second album, Sense and Sensuality, showed an even greater influence of jazz, soul, funk and disco on the band's sound, but was less well received. The band broke up in 1983 just before they were about to go into the studio to record an album with producer Steve Lillywhite. Woods formed an all woman band called the Darlings in the late '80s, but then left the music industry. She now works as a lawyer. Guitarist, Paul Foad remains an active musician, playing with Andy Hamilton and the Blue Notes, a Jamaican Jazz band and teaching guitar in and around Birmingham. He has also published a guitar technique book, co-written with Stuart Ritchie, titled The Caged Guitarist (2000). Bass player Jane Munro works as an alternative therapist in Birmingham. Pete Hammond also remains an active musician and teaches percussion in Birmingham.
The Au Pairs released two official albums "Playing with a Different Sex" (1981) and "Sense and Sensuality" (1982). Two more albums were released in 1983: "Live in Berlin" and the "BBC Sessions".
Original Line-up:
Lesley Woods - guitar/vocals
Paul Foad - guitar/vocals
Jane Munro - bass
Pete Hammond - drums
Set-Up
Au Pairs Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
She is she / That you never screwed
Playing your game / Her life revolves round and round you
A total investment / Can't afford to love
You're the prize for her sacrifice - A kiss in the morning
A kiss late at night
She's closing her eyes
To those possible lies
Locked tight up inside
Playing your game / She taking care of you
Watching out for your head / When you're sick
She puts you to bed / She props you up
Nurses you through / she's here to look after you
Playing your game / with the rules that you've set
We're on either side / Am I such a threat
Playing your game / Taking care of your needs
She is your security / I may remark on your insensitivity
But you know she wouldn't listen to me
The song "The Set-Up" by Au Pairs is a commentary on the dynamics of power and control in a relationship between a man and a woman. The lyrics describe a woman who serves as a surrogate for the singer's mother and has given up her life to make sure that he is comfortable and cared for. She is depicted as being totally invested in the relationship, and unable to love anyone but him. The singer is seen as being in control of the situation, setting the rules of the game, and manipulating the woman's emotions to keep her under his control. Despite this, the woman is seen as being complicit in the state of affairs and is willing to accept his insensitivity as long as he provides her with a sense of security.
The lyrics are full of loaded language that underline the power imbalance in the relationship. The woman is described as being a "total investment" who "can't afford to love" while the singer is "the prize for her sacrifice." His affection is described as being conditional, offered only in the morning and late at night, and she is seen as being in denial about the truth of the situation, "closing her eyes to those possible lies." The singer, on the other hand, is seen as playing the game of love, "with the rules that you've set," taking care of only his needs, and regarding anyone who challenges his power as being a threat.
Overall, the song paints a bleak picture of a relationship based on power and control, one that is devoid of love and mutual respect. It makes a poignant commentary on the ways in which gender roles and societal expectations can shape our emotional lives and relationships.
Line by Line Meaning
Playing your game / your mother substitute
You're using her as a substitute for your mother, and making her play the same games with you.
She is she / That you never screwed
She is a woman you haven't slept with, unlike the other girls you've been with.
Playing your game / Her life revolves round and round you
Her life revolves only around you and whatever games you play with her.
A total investment / Can't afford to love
She's invested everything in you, but won't allow herself to love you, since you only see her as a game.
You're the prize for her sacrifice - A kiss in the morning
She sees you as the prize for all the sacrifices she makes for you, such as waking up early just to give you a kiss in the morning.
A kiss late at night
She also gives you a kiss just before you go to bed at night.
She's closing her eyes
She's closing her eyes to the possibility that you might not actually love her, despite all her efforts.
To those possible lies
She's trying not to think about your possible lies or deceit.
Keeping the doubts
She's keeping all her doubts and insecurities about your relationship locked up inside.
Locked tight up inside
She isn't sharing any of her doubts or insecurities with you.
Playing your game / She taking care of you
She plays along with your game and takes care of you like she's supposed to.
Watching out for your head / When you're sick
She takes care of you when you're sick and makes sure you're okay.
She puts you to bed / She props you up
She helps put you to bed and props you up when you're weak.
Nurses you through / she's here to look after you
She nurses you back to health and is always there to take care of you.
Playing your game / with the rules that you've set
She plays by your rules, even though she doesn't agree with them.
We're on either side / Am I such a threat
We're on opposite sides of the game you've set up, and you see me as a rival.
Playing your game / Taking care of your needs
She plays your game and takes care of everything you need from her.
She is your security / I may remark on your insensitivity
She's your security, always there to support you, and I may point out your insensitivity towards her, but she wouldn't listen to me anyway.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
Outta Thyme567
The best band no one’s heard of
TheColossalBlanket
You're right. The riff is fantastic. I only heard this in an 80s doc on BBC 2 and I just had to track it down, brilliant stuff.
Mike Ollier
I've heard of them.
SoulStylistJukeBox
How could it be that only just discovered this clip? The person who uploaded this is a wonderful human being. Thanks so much. Love, Love, Love Au Pairs!
Right Weaponry
I played this at my mom's house the other day and she had whole flash back to having this on tape in the 80's, i always wanted to connect over music with my mom, it just took me years to get deep enough into the real shit!
CHRIS. BCFC. KEEP RIGHT ON.
The Au Pairs is one of my favourite bands. From my city of Birmingham too.
emma duncan
One of the great post punk bands. went away far too soon.
Craig Beasley
Too soon could an understatement. That third release was posthumus. And it was their best! Go figure.
Craig Beasley
Not a woman or man could compete with this amazing set of musicians. Just amazing humans making amazing music.
analogyouth
I was weeping so badly when i saw this the first time. goes straight in BOOM what a band !