Pick-Up-Boys
Auld-Hawkins-Webster Saxtet Lyrics
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I only cry when you're not looking
Watch me go down the slide, watch me dive into sea
I'm only brave when you are watching me
I still try to impress you
I show off my new dance moves to the moon
And I don't find
I don't find
Peace in hiding in what is behind
And as that high
Hits your eye
And there's no pain left to disguise
I'm a brave boy
I watch you die and I'll do nothing
Watch me harness the numb
Watch me panic and run
I should have become a friend but I just stayed a son
And I don't find
I don't find
Peace in hiding in what is behind
And as that high
Hits your eye
And there's no pain left to disguise
These sleeves can hold an ocean
You deserved to surf the waves you made
I hate these new emotions
I know I can't keep you awake
And I never said
All I wanted to say
But hopefully, you knew
Anyway.
In the song "Pick-Up-Boys" by the Auld-Hawkins-Webster Saxtet, the opening lines introduce a complex mix of vulnerability and bravado. The singer, presenting himself as a "Brave Boy," reveals a façade of confidence tied deeply to the audience's perception—specifically, that of a significant other. There’s a juxtaposition in the lyrics; he maintains his bravery only when this person is present, suggesting that his courage is performative rather than innate. This dynamic highlights a common struggle within relationships—where one’s self-worth and emotional expression are often contingent on others’ validation. The slide and diving into the sea symbolize moments of exhilaration and freedom, yet they are enveloped in a sense of dependence that undermines the authenticity of the bravery he claims to hold.
The lyrically expressed pursuit of approval is further elucidated as the singer attempts to impress not just the person but also the celestial body of the moon, indicating a desire for recognition that transcends the mundane and touches the sublime. This longing to connect through performance—showcasing dance moves—suggests a deeper yearning for intimacy, where expressions of self are transformed into acts designed to elicit admiration. However, the repetition of the lines regarding the lack of peace found in concealment speaks to a broader existential discomfort; he refuses to confront the realities that lie behind his overt bravado and the act of performance. The metaphors of high and pain suggest an internal struggle, where ecstasy remains superficially visible while deeper emotional scars go unaddressed.
The next exploration delves into the paradox of the singer's emotional landscape—watching someone 'die' suggests a metaphorical death, possibly evolving within relationships as one becomes emotionally distanced or loses the connection altogether. The refusal to act illustrates a paralysis that often accompanies real intimacy, where the burden of inaction weighs heavily on one's conscience. Harnessing the numbness encapsulates a coping mechanism, a theme echoed throughout the song, where emotional withdrawal ultimately leads to a deeper existential crisis. The reflection on companionship and sonship hints at the disappointment of not having found a more reciprocal relationship where he could have been a friend, illustrating the complexities involved in male identities and emotional expression, often tied to familial roles rather than egalitarian ones.
In the final verses, the imagery shifts dramatically to the physicality of sleeves holding an ocean—this metaphor suggests a turbulent and vast emotional capacity that he possesses, weighed down by the knowledge that the person he addresses deserved more than what has transpired. The unresolved feelings, coupled with an acknowledgment of inadequacy, weave a rich tapestry of regret and frustration. The line “I hate these new emotions” resonates as both candid self-awareness and a lament for the change in emotional dynamics that have accompanied the evolution of their relationship. Ultimately, the haunting conclusion leaves a sense of unfinished business, with the singer expressing what remains unvoiced—a hope that the important sentiments were nonetheless felt by the other. This blend of bravado, vulnerability, and reflection captures the essence of the struggle to navigate emotional landscapes that are fraught with the pressures of perception, intimacy, and the burden of unspoken truths.
Line by Line Meaning
I'm A Brave Boy
I present myself as courageous and strong.
I only cry when you're not looking
I only express my vulnerability when I feel safe from your gaze.
Watch me go down the slide, watch me dive into sea
Observe me taking risks and fully experiencing life with enthusiasm.
I'm only brave when you are watching me
My courage is fueled by your presence and attention.
I still try to impress you
I frequently seek your approval and admiration.
I show off my new dance moves to the moon
I express my creativity and joy, even in solitude.
And I don't find
I am unable to discover or attain.
I don't find
I perpetuate my struggle to uncover.
Peace in hiding in what is behind
I cannot achieve tranquility by burying my past.
And as that high
As that feeling of elation arises.
Hits your eye
It catches your attention or inspires you.
And there's no pain left to disguise
And I can no longer hide my suffering.
I'm a brave boy
I maintain my facade of bravery.
I watch you die and I'll do nothing
I observe your struggles without intervening.
Watch me harness the numb
See me attempt to control my emotional detachment.
Watch me panic and run
Witness my instinctive response of fear and avoidance.
I should have become a friend but I just stayed a son
I missed the chance to build a deeper connection, remaining only in a familial role.
And I don't find
I still struggle to discover.
I don't find
I continue to face my inability to uncover.
Peace in hiding in what is behind
I remain restless while concealing my true feelings and past.
And as that high
As that moment of exhilaration.
Hits your eye
Captures your attention or interest.
And there's no pain left to disguise
And I can no longer mask my emotional turmoil.
These sleeves can hold an ocean
What I'm wearing symbolizes the depth of my emotions.
You deserved to surf the waves you made
You should experience the joy and consequence of what you've created.
I hate these new emotions
I struggle with unfamiliar feelings that overwhelm me.
I know I can't keep you awake
I recognize that I cannot sustain your attention or interest.
And I never said
I failed to voice.
All I wanted to say
Everything I wished to express went unspoken.
But hopefully, you knew
But I can only hope that you understood my feelings.
Anyway.
Regardless of my communication struggles, I've placed my trust in your perception.
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Thomas Pitts
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind