Les monstres
Barcella Lyrics

Je n'avais pas 10 ans lorsque le drame est arrivé
I was less than 10 years old when the incident happened.

Pour une envie pressante je me rendis aux cabinets
I went to the bathroom due to an urgent need.

L'arme à la main les yeux au ciel c'est dans mon plus simple appareil
I had nothing on except for the weapon in my hand and my eyes towards the sky.

Qu'une gigantesque araignée vint me chatouiller les orteils
A huge spider came and tickled my toes.

Grosse avec des poils velue de partout
The spider was big and hairy all over.

Sans doute une mygale ou le modèle du d'ssous
It was likely a tarantula or a similar type of spider.

Face à cette ignoble bestiole
Seeing this horrible creature,

Je pris à mon cou mes guibolles
I ran away as fast as I could.

Laissant mon pyjama sur place
I left my pajamas behind.

Je m'enfuis sans tirer la chasse
I ran without flushing the toilet.

Mais elle courut vite la p'tite araignée
The little spider ran after me.

Devançant ma fuite je fus rattrapé
It caught up to me no matter how fast I ran.

Tétanisé le dos au mur
I was paralyzed with fear, backed up against the wall.

En cet instant je vous le jure
At that moment I swear to you,

De sa petite voix fluette elle me dit
In its small, thin voice it said to me,

Arrête tronche de cake!
"Stop it, you don't know what you're doing!"

Je n'suis pas méchante, n'aie pas peur de moi
"I'm not a bad spider, don't be afraid of me."

Car si je me planque parfois sous tes draps
"Sometimes I hide under your sheets,

C'est qu'il fait un peu froid l'hiver
it's just that it gets a little cold in the winter."

Et que j'ai perdu ma polaire
"And I lost my coat."

Si tu m'acceptes dans ton lit
"If you let me sleep in your bed,

On s'ra des amies pour la vie
we'll be friends for life."

On est rigolo et plutôt sympa
"We're funny and pretty nice,"

Fais pas ton puceau allez mon p'tit gars
"Don't be afraid, man up, little guy."

Ce que l'on dit à notre propos
"What people say about us

Excuse mais c'est un peu facho
is kinda fascist, sorry,"

Et puis je n'suis pas venue seule
"And besides, I didn't come alone,"

J'espère que tu n'fras pas la gueule
"I hope you won't be upset,"

J'te présente Rodolphe le poto du 1er
"Let me introduce you to Rodolphe, my buddy from the first floor,"

C'est mon super pote il a plein d'qualités
"He's my best friend and has lots of good qualities,"

Mon ami restons solidaires
"My friend, let's stay united,"

Tu sais bien qu'il fait froid l'hiver
"You know it gets cold in the winter,"

Si tu l'acceptes sans ton lit
"If you let him sleep in your bed with us,

On s'ra des amis pour la vie
we'll be friends for life."

Ce que l'on dit à not' propos
"What people say about us

C'est des histoires pipi pot-pot
is just nonsense,"

Sèche donc tes larmes mon minet on doit encore te présenter
"Stop crying, little kitten, we still have someone else to introduce you to,"

Notre ami alfred l'ogre du placard
"Our friend Alfred, the monster from the closet,"

Ne chiale pas ta mère mec tu fais peur à voir
"Don't cry, dude, you look scary,"

Alfred ce monstre légendaire
"Alfred, this legendary monster"

Aimerait bien pour passer l'hiver
"Would love to come out of the closet

Que tu l'acceptes dans ton lit
and spend the winter with us in your bed."

Là, on n'demande pas ton avis
"We're not asking for your opinion now,"

Il est pas commode il est pas sympa
"He's not very friendly or easy-going,"

Et si tu chipotes il t'arrache un bras
"And if you complain, he'll rip your arm off,"

Ce que l'on dit à son propos
"What people say about him

J'te jure que c'est pas du pipo
is not a lie,"

Tu lui dit oui même si il pue
"Just say yes to him, even if he stinks,"

Ou il va nous croquer tout cru
"Or he'll eat us up alive."

Tu parles d'une histoire toi
"You're telling quite a story,"

Moi j'ai rien compris
"I didn't understand anything,"

J'rapelle qu'au départ ben j'allais faire pipi
"I just want to remind you that I only went to the bathroom at the beginning,"

J'avais juste une envie pressante
"I just had to go really badly,"

Et voici que la nuit suivante
"And then, the following night,"

J'ai dormi dans le cagibis
"I slept in the storage room,"

Parc'qu'avec mes nouveaux amis
"Because of my new friends,"

On a fait la chouill' et danser la rumba
"We had a party and danced the rumba,"

Adieu chair de poule bien l'bonjour chez toi
"Goodbye, Goosebumps, hello to a new way of living,"

Qu'importe les bruits de couloir
"It doesn't matter what people are saying behind our backs,"

La seule morale à cette histoire
"The only lesson to take from this story"

C'est que les monstres sont sympas
"is that monsters can be nice,"

Si tu dors avec eux parfois
"if you sleep with them every now and then,"

C'est que les monstres sont gentils
"it's that monsters can be kind,"

Si tu les accueille dans ton lit
"if you welcome them into your bed,"

C'est que les monstres ne font pas peur
"it's that monsters are not scary,"

Qu'à ceux qui n'ouvrent pas leur coeur
"only to those who don't open their hearts,"

C'est que tu flippes les araignées
"It's just that you're afraid of spiders,"

Rien n't'empêche de les écraser.
"But that shouldn't stop you from squashing them."