Car Thief
Beastie Boys Lyrics

Some static started in the pool hall
There was some trouble that started in the pool hall

Hit a motherfucker's face with the cue ball
Someone hit another person with a cue ball

Then I met this girl she tried to gank me
I met a girl who tried to rob me

So I smacked her in the pootie with a Plank, B
I hit her in the private parts with a wooden plank

'Cause me and my crew were out breaking windows
My friends and I were breaking windows

The bingo, the lotto you know I'll never win those
I never win at bingo or the lottery

Possession is half the law
Having possession of something is almost like owning it

I had my routines before all y'all
I had my own way of doing things before anyone else

Your whole life is coming apart at the seams
Your entire life is falling apart

You ain't nothing but a car thief biting routines
You are only a car thief who copies other people's actions

See, I'm a city slicker I ain't no townie
I am from the city, not from the town

Right now I wish I had another hash brownie
I wish I had another brownie with hash in it

Like Ricky always said you've got to toke and pass
As Ricky always said, you have to smoke and pass the joint

Or Mookie's gonna kick your fuckin' ass
Mookie is going to kick your rear end

You try to take what isn't yours like a God damn rat
You try to steal things like a rat

See, personally I wouldn't wanna go out like that
Personally, I don't want to end up like that

I'm a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it
I am a writer, poet and a genius and I know it

I don't buy cheeba I grow it
I don't buy marijuana, I grow it myself

People always trying to get next to me
People are always trying to get close to me

I had a beautiful experience on ecstasy
I had a beautiful experience while on ecstasy

I Smoked up a bag of elephant tranquilizer
I smoked an entire bag of elephant tranquilizer

Because I had to deal with a money-hungry miser
Because I had to deal with a greedy person

Had a 'caine-filled Kool with my man Rush Rush
I had a joint with cocaine in it with my friend Rush Rush

Saw my teeth fall in the sink when I started to brush
My teeth fell in the sink while I was brushing them

You be doing nose candy on the Bowie coke mirror
You are doing cocaine on the David Bowie coke mirror

My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her
My girlfriend asked for some but I pretended not to hear her

You can't deny me, you always want to try me
You cannot deny me, you always want to challenge me

Yo, you're just gonna get your ass kicked
You are going to get beaten up

Homeboy throw in the towel
Give up already

Your girl got dicked by Ricky Powell
Your girlfriend had sex with Ricky Powell

The Godfather of Soul in the belly of the beast
James Brown in prison

Smoking that dust at St. Anthony's Feast
Smoking PCP at St. Anthony's Feast

All the wife beaters and all the tax cheaters
All the people who beat their wives and cheat on their taxes

Sitting in the White House pulling their peters
Sitting in the White House playing with their privates

Buy my cheeba from the cop down the street
I buy marijuana from the policeman down the street

The only cop with a rope chain walking the beat
The only policeman wearing a rope chain while patrolling

So like a sneaky pouch time bomb tickin'
Like a hidden explosive device, ready to explode

Or like the beat to my rhyme just kickin'
Or like the beat of my rap just hitting right

Space cake cookies I discover who I am
I discovered who I am after eating space cake cookies

I'm a dusted old bummy hurdy-gurdy man
I'm a heroin addict homeless street performer

Five-O caught me now I'm going to the mountains
The police caught me and I'm now fleeing to the mountains

Said good-bye to my girl, my lawyers and accountants
Said goodbye to my girlfriend, lawyers and accountants

My mind is kinda rhymin' and I think I oughta think
My mind is thinking in rhymes and I need to think more

So I'm rockin' all the rhymes and I'll have another drink
I'm rapping and I'll have another drink

So the lights are flashing, my mind is spinning
Lights are flashing and my mind is confused

I feel like it is always the beginning
I feel like it's always starting over

Of another rhyme I'm rapping, M.C-ing I rock
I'm rapping and rocking as an MC

You ain't nothing but a car thief who must be stopped
You are nothing but a car thief and must be stopped