LUST
Before I Turn Lyrics
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I long for a candle light vigil, for staining all the walls my favorite shade of red
The worst part of being dead is not knowing what she'll do
Standing proud above my casket like it's not because of you
So I'll make it fucking clear, that you ruined my life
'cause I thought I had plans to make you my wife
Now it's over, it's over, like you said the pain will be when we're older
So I can use this gun to make you stay, or put it to my head and take my fucking life away
So I can use this gun to make you stay, please help me baby I can't take your life away
I'm fucking bitter like the led that's in a bullet
So all there's left to do is feel the trigger and fucking pull it
So I can use this gun to make you stay, this gun is just like you 'cause it can take my breath way
Now that it's over, I'm trapped with my thoughts
I ask for an objection but I get no response
Now I'm alone but at least I tried
Get ready God 'cause I'm ready to die
I long for the feeling of a gun, resting against my head
I long for a candle light vigil, for staining all the walls my favorite shade of red
I'm fucking bitter like the led that's in a bullet
So all that's left to do is feel the trigger and fucking pull it
I'll fucking pull it
The song "Lust" by Before I Turn delves into the dark and disturbing desires of a person who is consumed by their overwhelming emotions of bitterness and longing. The lyrics portray intense feelings of anger, frustration, and hurt brought upon by the end of a significant relationship. The opening lines of the song, "I long for the feeling of a gun, resting against my head," reveal the magnitude of the emotional turmoil the singer is going through. They are overwhelmed by the pain of losing someone they love and so strongly that they crave physical harm.
The lyrics also suggest that the singer is considering taking their own life, as demonstrated by the following line, "So I can use this gun to make you stay or put it to my head and take my fucking life away." The song conveys a sense of hopelessness but is also an outcry for help, as seen in the line "please help me baby, I can't take your life away." The lyrics are symbolic and metaphorical in nature, depicting the use of a gun to describe the depth of the emotions and the effect that they have on the singer's life.
The latter part of the song expresses the pain of being alone and the desire to end one's life as a way to escape the heartache. The final lines of the song, "I long for a candle light vigil, for staining all the walls my favorite shade of red. I'm fucking bitter like the led that's in a bullet, so all that's left to do is feel the trigger and fucking pull it," suggest that the singer is ready to end their life and embrace death.
Overall, the song "Lust" is a powerful and intense portrayal of the complexities of human emotions and the pain of losing someone you love. The lyrics are emotionally charged and serve to evoke strong emotions in the listener.
Line by Line Meaning
I long for the feeling of a gun, resting against my head
I crave the sensation of a gun pressing against my head, as it gives me a sense of control and power.
I long for a candle light vigil, for staining all the walls my favorite shade of red
I desire a violent and bloody event, like a candle light vigil, where I can leave behind the mark of my favorite color as a symbol of my destructive nature.
The worst part of being dead is not knowing what she'll do
What troubles me about death is not being able to know how my loved one will react to my passing and move on without me.
Standing proud above my casket like it's not because of you
I imagine my partner standing over my casket with pride, as if the cause of my death was not their own doing.
So I'll make it fucking clear, that you ruined my life
I want to make it absolutely clear that my partner was responsible for ruining my life and driving me to the point of wanting to take my own life.
'cause I thought I had plans to make you my wife
I believed I had a future with my partner and plans to marry them, but now those dreams are shattered.
Now it's over, it's over, like you said the pain will be when we're older
The relationship has ended and there is no going back, just like my partner said the pain would be when we grew older.
So I can use this gun to make you stay, or put it to my head and take my fucking life away
The gun can be used to force my partner to stay with me or end my own life to escape the pain of the broken relationship.
So I can use this gun to make you stay, please help me baby I can't take your life away
I am considering using the gun to force my partner to stay, but I am also begging for their help because I don't want to take their life away.
I'm fucking bitter like the led that's in a bullet
I am filled with resentment and anger, much like the lead in a bullet that will be fired from the gun.
So all there's left to do is feel the trigger and fucking pull it
My only option left is to pull the trigger and end it all.
So I can use this gun to make you stay, this gun is just like you 'cause it can take my breath way
The gun can be used to make my partner stay, but it is also like them because it has the power to take my life away.
Now that it's over, I'm trapped with my thoughts
Now that the relationship has ended, I am left alone with my thoughts and emotions, feeling stuck and unable to escape them.
I ask for an objection but I get no response
I am asking for a reason not to end my life, but there is no response or justification for why I should keep going.
Now I'm alone but at least I tried
Even though I am alone now, I find solace in the fact that I tried to make the relationship work and didn't go down without a fight.
Get ready God 'cause I'm ready to die
I am prepared to die and meet my maker, as I am unable to cope with the pain of the broken relationship and the despair it has caused me.
I'll fucking pull it
I am committed to ending my life, and I will not hesitate to pull the trigger of the gun.
Contributed by Charlotte H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.