Rent A Cop
Ben Folds Lyrics


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I'm trollin' food court for girls
Yeah, it's the best job in the world
Yeah, they know they're safe with me
They love my little mustache
They love a man in uniform, oh

With my sunglasses
They can't see what I'm really looking at
And as they're walking by
I whisper through my doughnut
Hey baby, baby, light that ass on fire

How long must this day go on
I got to stand here two more hours
'Til I punch the clock
How long must this day go on

No kid, they don't give me a gun
I don't get paid enough to run
So you can call me what you want
I'll be hanging at the checkout
Checking out your girlfriend
Figure out how she's going to fit all of that
Butt into that underwear, yeah, yeah

Hey girl, if you can't recall
Where you parked your daddy's car

Then I could help you out
All alone in this great big mall, oh

How long must this day go on
I got to stand here two more hours
'Til it's Miller time
How long must this day go on
Whoa, oh, oh, oh

I'm trolling food court for girls

I whisper through my doughnut
I whisper through my doughnut
I whisper through my doughnut
Hey baby baby, hey baby baby baby
Light that, light that ass on fire





Alright that's good

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Rent A Cop" by Ben Folds describe the perspective of a security guard working in a mall, who spends his time "trolling" the food court for girls. With a self-aware tone, the singer acknowledges that he is not particularly respected or well-paid in his job, but still takes some pleasure in the attention that his uniform and mustache attract from some of the young women passing by. The singer uses his sunglasses to obscure his gaze and mutters suggestive comments to himself, hidden behind his doughnut. Despite the tedium of his job, the singer seems to find a sense of power and humor in making these predatory comments and positioning himself as an observer of mall culture.


The lyrics of "Rent A Cop" are a satirical commentary on the dynamics of capitalism and patriarchy that create the environment of the mall. As many critics have noted, the mall is a space that relies on seductive marketing and surveillance tactics to encourage people to consume mass-produced goods. The guard in the song is a representative of the security state that undergirds this consumerist world, even as he himself is subject to low wages and limited prospects. However, by objectifying the young women he sees in the mall, the singer also reflects the ways in which patriarchal values operate in this environment. Rather than engaging with his own sense of powerlessness or channeling his humor in more constructive ways, the singer preys on vulnerable targets, using his uniform and private language to isolate and control them.


Overall, "Rent A Cop" is a wry and unsettling portrait of a particular moment in American culture, where the façade of stability and order coexists with deep anxiety and dysfunction. By exposing the inner thoughts of the security guard, Folds highlights the ways in which individuals can become complicit in larger systems of oppression, without necessarily being villains in their own right.


Line by Line Meaning

I'm trollin' food court for girls
I'm walking around the food court looking for girls


Yeah, it's the best job in the world
I think being a rent-a-cop and checking out girls is the best job ever


Yeah, they know they're safe with me
Girls feel safe around me, cause I'm just a harmless rent-a-cop


They love my little mustache
Girls seem to like my mustache, which I think is cool


They love a man in uniform, oh
Girls like guys in uniforms, and I'm wearing one, so they must like me


With my sunglasses
With my sunglasses on, girls can't tell what I'm really looking at


They can't see what I'm really looking at
Girls don't know that I'm actually checking them out, cause I have my sunglasses on


And as they're walking by
As the girls walk by, I'm secretly checking them out


I whisper through my doughnut
To disguise what I'm saying, I whisper through my donut (like a small megaphone)


Hey baby, baby, light that ass on fire
I'm making a suggestive comment to a girl I'm checking out, asking her to show off her body


How long must this day go on
I'm bored and wondering when my shift will end


I got to stand here two more hours
I still have two more hours until my shift ends, and I can leave


Til I punch the clock
I have to work until my shift is officially over and I can clock out


No kid, they don't give me a gun
I'm not important enough to be given a gun as a rent-a-cop


I don't get paid enough to run
I don't get paid enough to chase after anyone who decides to steal something or cause trouble


So you can call me what you want
People might make fun of my job or my uniform, but I don't really care


I'll be hanging at the checkout
I'm going to be at the checkout for most of my shift, looking at girls


Checking out your girlfriend
I'm checking out girls as they come by, getting a good look at them


Figure out how she's going to fit all of that
I'm wondering how a girl's body can fit into her underwear, because she has a big butt


Butt into that underwear, yeah, yeah
I'm making a somewhat crude joke about a girl's butt and underwear


Hey girl, if you can't recall
I'm talking to a girl who seems lost and can't remember where she parked her car


Where you parked your daddy's car
I'm asking her where she parked her dad's car, because she seems confused


Then I could help you out
I'm offering to help her find her car, so I have more time to talk to her


All alone in this great big mall, oh
I'm saying that we're both alone in this big mall, so maybe she'll talk to me more


Til it's Miller time
I'm going to get a beer (Miller brand) after work is over, since I've had a long day


Whoa, oh, oh, oh
Just a sound effect that repeats throughout the song




Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: BEN FOLDS, BENJAMIN SCOTT FOLDS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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