Claire's Ninth
Ben Folds / Nick Hornby Lyrics

So she stands and waits and waits at the school gate
Claire is waiting for her parents to pick her up from school

They're late, they come, so dumb
Her parents arrive in two separate cars, even though they agreed upon one car, and they're late

In two cars when they agreed one
Her parents did not stick to their original agreement and came in two cars instead of one

And it's gone wrong on her birthday
All of this happened on Claire's birthday, making things worse for her

So they go to Joe's for pizza and ice cream
Instead of celebrating her birthday, they decide to go to Joe's for pizza and ice cream

They sit and stare and Claire just wants to be 9 and a half
Claire feels disappointed and wishes she was older

Next year she'll tell them she only wants world peace
Claire is so disappointed that next year she will ask for something that she knows is impossible to get

But Claire, Claire baby
The singer addresses Claire with endearment as he wishes to express his point of view

I wish you knew how this all got twisted
The singer wishes that Claire knows why things went wrong

I wish you could see right inside us
The singer wishes Claire could understand their point of view

'Cause all of this stuff, the best of us that we can't get out
The best of them is not enough to change the situation

What's the point of this
The singer is questioning the whole situation and the purpose of it

What's wrong with two birthdays
The singer is questioning why Claire's parents couldn't give two birthdays to her

It's cool at school
Having two birthdays is considered cool among friends at school

Her friends, they all have two birthdays
Claire's friends have two birthdays, making her feel left out

Oh geez, he just asked the waitress out on a date on her birthday
One of Claire's parents embarrasses her by asking out the waitress on her birthday

Here's the check
They ask for the check at the end of the meal

They pay with two cards like they've never met
Her parents each pay their share of the bill with separate cards, making it feel like they've never met before

Goodbyes outside; it's cold in LA
The family says their goodbyes outside the restaurant and it's cold outside

The best of us for most of us
The singer is referring to the best of them as a group, but it's not enough for Claire

Or what we were, you're all that's left
The singer is saying that Claire is what they have left and they need to try harder to make her happy

It used to be our birthday too
The singer is reminiscing about the good times they had when they used to celebrate with Claire