The song "Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In the West)" is a bit autobiographical. Benny Hill had been a milkman in Eastleigh, Hampshire, working for Hanns Dairy whose premises was yards way from Market Street. There was a bakery near the dairy that did indeed have a delivery van. Having been born and raised (and eventually buried) in Southampton, Benny Hill did live in Teddington.
Jose's Cantina
Benny Hill Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
You looked so lonesome and sad.
I bought you a drink, and I said with a wink,
Maybe things won't be so bad.
You ordered... A large champagne cocktail,
Then vodka and wine from Jerome.
And as I bought it I suddenly thought it's
You took me... Across town to your place,
My eagernes I could not hide.
When we reached your floor, you closed the front door,
Tell me... Why did you leave me outside... ?
So I went... And sang 'neath your window,
From midnight 'til turned half past three.
Oh tell me sweet lady, sweet lady pray tell me,
What was it you emptied on me... ?
I hoped... When I met you Maria,
You'd be the love of my life.
I gave you my heart, but you tore it apart,
So I think I'll go back to the wife...
In Benny Hill’s song “Jose’s Cantina,” the singer tells the story of meeting a woman in a bar called Rosie’s Cantina. The woman appears to be lonely and sad, so the singer buys her a drink and tries to cheer her up. However, as the woman continues to order more and more drinks, the singer realizes that perhaps her excessive drinking is the reason she is alone.
The woman then takes the singer back to her place, but when they arrive, she locks him out. The singer is left singing outside her window all night, only to discover the next day that the woman had emptied a chamber pot on him. Disappointed that the woman did not turn out to be the love of his life, the singer decides to return to his wife.
The song offers a humorous take on the pitfalls of love and relationships, showing how sometimes things do not turn out the way we hope they will. It also offers a commentary on excessive drinking and its effect on social interactions and relationships.
Line by Line Meaning
When I met you, in Rosie's Cantina,
I saw you sitting alone and looking sad when we met at the bar.
You looked so lonesome and sad.
You seemed to be very lonely and unhappy.
I bought you a drink, and I said with a wink,
I ordered you a drink and tried to cheer you up by saying that things might not be so bad.
Maybe things won't be so bad.
Perhaps the situation is not as hopeless as it seems.
You ordered... A large champagne cocktail,
You asked for a big champagne cocktail to drink.
Then vodka and wine from Jerome.
After that, you ordered vodka and wine from the bartender named Jerome.
And as I bought it I suddenly thought it's
When I paid for your drinks, I suddenly realized that it's
No wonder that you're on your own.
no surprise that you were sitting alone.
You took me... Across town to your place,
You led me to your place that was far away from the bar we met.
My eagerness I could not hide.
I was full of desire and excitement, couldn't hide my feelings.
When we reached your floor, you closed the front door,
After we entered the building, you shut the door of your apartment.
Tell me... Why did you leave me outside... ?
I was wondering why you didn't let me in once we got to your apartment.
So I went... And sang 'neath your window,
I went back to your place later and sang outside your window.
From midnight 'til turned half past three.
I sang for three and a half hours from midnight until half past three in the morning.
Oh tell me sweet lady, sweet lady pray tell me,
I was asking you, the lady I met earlier, to tell me something.
What was it you emptied on me... ?
I was curious about what you threw out the window onto me when I was singing outside your building.
I hoped... When I met you Maria,
I had high hopes for our relationship, Maria, when we first met.
You'd be the love of my life.
I thought that you would be the person I would spend the rest of my life with.
I gave you my heart, but you tore it apart,
I gave you my love and trust, but you betrayed me and broke my heart.
So I think I'll go back to the wife...
I have decided to return to my wife and move on from this heartbreak with you.
Contributed by Noah C. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
Chaz Antonelli
on Bianca
Now Bianca McBrown weighs three hundred pounds,
She's got eyes like rissoles in the snow.
She comes from St. Kitts, got a big pair of mitts,
She could lay Mike Tyson out with one blow.
When she lays in the sand, the tide goes out and
Refuses to come back until she's gone.
One day she bent down to hitch up her gown
And we had an eclipse of the sun.
(Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca)
We went for a stroll, she said, "Look at, that's a bull,
"And that's a cow and that's a sow and that's a boar.
"And just look at that, Joe!" I said, "Bianca I know,"
She said, "Well what do you want to tread in it for?"
By the barn door, we lay down in the straw
And she said as she gave my hand a squeeze,
"Would you like a roll in the hay?" and I said, "Okay,"
She said, "Do you want fish paste or cheese?"
Bianca1
Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca, Like a peach on an apricot tree,
I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka,
To thank her for her company.
Now this big fat girl has got a map of the world
Tattooed all over her skin,
One day she showed me Japan, the Gulf of Siam,
I even had to peek at Peking.
On her left knee was West Germany,
Russia was on her right thigh,
But when I turned and saw my wife at the door
I let the rest of the world go by.
Bianca2
(Oh Bianca, lovely Bianca)
So I divorced my wife and I began a new life,
With Bianca on the honeymoon cruise,
Our wedding night, it was great, I even let her stay up late
To listen to the six o'clock news.
Now I am never blue with my queen of tattoo,
A happier man could not be found,
I've got heat in the winter, I've got shade in the summer,
And moving pictures all the year round.
Oh, lovely Bianca, big fat Bianca,
Like a peach on an apricot tree,
I would charter a tanker and sail to Sri Lanka,
To thank her for marrying me.
(To thank her for marrying me)
To thank her for marrying me.