The song was announced on January 7th, 2019 through Billie Eilish’s Instagram. The track is also included in the Japanese Import and Target Repack version of Eilish’s debut album, WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?.
WHEN I WAS OLDER
Billie Eilish Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and placeWhere you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
Billie Eilish's song, "When I was older" is inspired by her deep love for the 2018 movie, "Roma", directed by Alfonso Cuarón. The movie depicts the life of a domestic worker and the political turmoil that Mexico experienced in the 1970s. The lyrics of the song reflect the emotions of the main character, Cleo portrayed by Yalitza Aparicio. In the song, Billie Eilish portrays herself as a sailor on an open sea, which symbolizes the freedom and adventure that Cleo craves. However, she is now underwater, and her skin is paler than it should ever be. The lines refer to the struggles that Cleo goes through as she is caught up in the political unrest of Mexico.
The next lines of the song, "I'm on my back again, dreaming of a time and place, where you and I remain the best of friends, even after all this ends, can we pretend?" talks about Cleo's desire for her former lover to stay with her, and their friendship to remain the same. The line "seeming more and more like all we ever do is see how far it bends before it breaks in half and then we bend it back again" alludes to Cleo's turbulent relationship with her lover, who is unsure about their future together.
Line by Line Meaning
When I was older
In times past, I had a different experience
I was a sailor on an open sea
At one point, I had a sense of adventure and freedom
But now I'm underwater
Currently, I feel like I'm struggling and suffocating
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
The current situation is affecting me physically and mentally
I'm on my back again
I am in a vulnerable position
Dreaming of a time and place
I am imagining a different scenario
Where you and I remain the best of friends
In this scenario, our relationship remains strong
Even after all this ends
Despite whatever happens
Can we pretend?
Is it possible to imagine this alternate reality?
It's seeming more and more
The current situation is feeling increasingly difficult
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
It feels like we are constantly testing our limits
Before it breaks in half and then
Before we reach a point of no return
We bend it back again
We try to fix things and go back to the way they were
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
I feel stuck in the midst of a difficult situation
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
I have experienced similar situations before
In my blood, in my blood
It feels like a part of me
Memories burn like a forest fire
Past events have had a powerful effect on me
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
Even the most intense situations can eventually become mundane
In the flood
During extreme times
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
I am purposely distracting myself from reality by watching old movies
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I am finding solace in my own methods
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
I am moving on from someone and ready for new experiences
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
I feel incredibly alone and unsure if anyone else feels the same
You'd really like it in the limelight
I am questioning if someone would enjoy being in the spotlight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I believe someone would understand and empathize with those perceived as villains
I'm still a victim in my own right
Despite this, I feel like I am still suffering
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
In my own perspective, I see myself as the one in the wrong
When I was older
Reflecting back on past experiences
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Billie Eilish O'Connell, Finneas Baird O'Connell
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@aliensr2d2
Lyrics:
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
Mhm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my-
I'm on my back again
It seems more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I’ve been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
@CosneanuC
----Lyrics----When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
[Verse]
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
[Pre-Chorus]
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
[Bridge]
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
[Outro]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
@nschief
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It seems more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
@evademetrescu8875
WHEN I WAS OLDER - BILLIE EILISH
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
Mhm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my—
I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
@MemmoriezAJ
LYRICS -
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It seems more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
@madeleinebrock8651
Billie Eilish-
When I was older (Lyrics)
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Been goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
You're welcome!
@luciemachalova9029
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
@sarahandceciliabohman8655
When I was older, I was a sailor...
On an open sea
But now, I'm under water and my skin is paler...
Than it should ever be
I'm on my back again...
Dreaming of a time and place where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends...
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more like all we ever do is see how far it bends...
Before it breaks in half, and then...
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes, I've been taught
Got a little of it, in my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud...
In the flood
(Chorus)
I'm watching movies back to back, in Black and White
I never seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm going over you; I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely, and I don't know whether
You'd really like it, in the Limelight?
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys?
I'm still a victim in my own right...
But I'm a villain in my own eyes
When I was older, I was a sailor...
On an open sea
Written by: Billie Eilish and Finneas O'Connell
Genre: Alternative Rock, Indie Pop, Electropop, Dream Pop
Year: 2019
Edit: Dang, thanks for the likes!
@escapandonos.
lyrics cuz i haven’t seen them in the comments yet(:
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
Mhm
[Verse]
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my—
I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
[Pre-Chorus]
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
[Bridge]
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
[Outro]
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
btw i posted covers of wtpo idwbya and hostage on my channel if you wanna check that out (:
@samerhussein610
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
[Verse]
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
[Pre-Chorus]
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
[Bridge]
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Been goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
[Outro]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
Source:
https://genius.com/Billie-eilish-when-i-was-older-lyrics
@Lana-qi2lq
Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
Mhm
[Verse]
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my—
I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
[Pre-Chorus]
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
[Bridge]
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
[Outro]
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
@theo-hg1fx
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
[Verse]
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
[Pre-Chorus]
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
[Bridge]
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
[Outro]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
@MemeSorcery
LYRICS
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
@Sworen
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
Hmm
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It's seeming more and more
Like all we ever do is see how far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
[Chorus]
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back in black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
I'm goin' over you, I'm overdue for new endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes, yeah
When I was older
I was a sailor on an open sea
@avalon5141
Welcome 😊
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I'm on my, I'm on my back again
It seems more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I've been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre to mud
In the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I'm underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I'm watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen anybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I'm overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I'm lonely and I don't know whether
You'd really like it in the limelight
You'd sympathize with all the bad guys
I'm still a victim in my own right
But I'm the villain in my own eyes
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
@maddison4416
Here’s the lyrics if you want them😂
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I’m underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
Mhm
I’m on my back again
Dreaming of a time and place
Where you and I remain the best of friends
Even after all this ends
Can we pretend?
I’m on my-
I’m on my back again
It seems more and more
Like all we ever do is see
How far it bends
Before it breaks in half and then
We bend it back again
Guess I got caught in the middle of it
Yes I’ve been taught, got a little of it
In my blood, in my blood
Memories burn like a forest fire
Heavy rain turns any funeral pyre
Tonight, in the flood
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
But now I’m underwater
And my skin is paler
Than it should ever be
I’m watching movies back to back
In black and white, I never
Seen everybody do it like I do it any better
Then going over you, I’m overdue for no endeavors
Nobody lonely like I’m lonely and I don’t know whether
You’d really like it in the limelight
You’d sympathize with all the bad guys
I’m still a victim on my own right
But I’m the villain in my own eyes
When I was older
I was a sailor
On an open sea
(Edited because I messed a part up)
@inisgan2418
‘GUESS IM CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT’ at exactly the middle of the song 2:16
GENIUSSSS
@brandon1331
Little Inis I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE UR 200 IQ SIS
@inisgan2418
shes always so cheeky wif her songs 😌
@angivee9381
wait that's EVERYTHING
@thesniperhendogxxx2271
Yh its not that smart anyone could do that
@avam6080
Thesniperhendog Xxx no one likes jealous people
@latroupeadan
Honestly, this is one of the best Billie’s song but also one of the most underrated
@kokichioma5020
True though
@maxjohnson6998
I AGREE
@Evie-sq2be
I saw this comment said "I don't understand that song when I was older by billie eilish the lyrics don't make sense at all"