Folk music
In 1965, together with Tam Harvey, Connolly started a group called the Humblebums. At their first gig, Connolly introduced them both to the audience by saying, "My name's Billy Connolly, and I'm humble. This is Tam Harvey, he's a bum." The band would later include Gerry Rafferty. Connolly sang, played banjo and guitar, and entertained the audience with his humorous introductions to the songs.
In his World Tour of Scotland, Connolly reveals that at a trailer show during the Edinburgh Festival, the Humblebums took to the stage just before the late Yehudi Menuhin.
The trio broke up in 1971, at which point Connolly went solo. His first solo album in 1972, Billy Connolly Live! on Transatlantic Records, features Connolly as a singer, songwriter, and musician.
His early albums were a mixture of comedy performances with comedic and serious musical interludes. Among his best known musical performances were "The Welly Boot Song", a comical ode to the working class which became his theme song for several years; "In the Brownies", a parody of the Village People classics "Y.M.C.A." and "In the Navy" (for which Connolly filmed a music video); "Two Little Boys in Blue", a tongue-in-cheek indictment of police brutality done to the tune of Rolf Harris' "Two Little Boys"; and the ballad "I Wish I Was in Glasgow" which Connolly would later perform on a guest appearance on the 1990s American sitcom Pearl (which starred Rhea Perlman). He also performed the occasional Humblebums-era song such as "Oh, No!" as well as straightforward covers such as a version of Dolly Parton's "Coat of Many Colors" which was included on his Riotous Assembly album.
In November 1975, his spoof of the Tammy Wynette song "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" had a one-week spell as the UK's No. 1 single. Wynette's original was about parents spelling out words of an impending marital split to avoid traumatizing their young child. Connolly's version "D.I.V.O.R.C.E.", on the other hand, played off of the fact that many dog owners use the same tactic when they do not wish their pet to become upset about an impending trip to the veterinarian. His song is about a couple whose marriage is ruined by a bad vet visit (spelling out "W.O.R.M." or "Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E.", for example.)
His song "No Chance" was a parody of J.J. Barrie's "No Charge".
In 1985 he sang the theme song to Supergran, which was released as a single and in 1996 he performed a cover of Ralph McTell's In The Dreamtime as the theme to his World Tour of Australia. By the late 1980s, Connolly had all but dropped the music from his act, though he still records the occasional musical performance. In 1998 he covered The Beatles' "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" on the George Martin tribute, In My Life and he also recorded a rewritten version of Alanis Morissette's "Hand in My Pocket" entitled "The Evil Scotsman". Most recently, he sang a song during the film Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.
Connolly is among the artists featured on Banjoman, a tribute to American folk musician Derroll Adams, released in 2002. He plays one song, "The Rock".
Stand-up comedy
It is as a stand-up comedian that Connolly is best known. His observational comedy is idiosyncratic and often off-the-cuff. He talks about himself, who he is, where he's been, what he thinks and how he reacts to the world around him. He has outraged audiences, critics and, of course, the media with his free use of the word "fuck". He has used masturbation, blasphemy, defecation, flatulence, sex, his father's illness and his aunts' cruelty to entertain. By exploring these subjects with humour, Connolly has done much to strip away the taboos surrounding them. Yet he does not tell jokes in the conventional way. At the end of a concert the audience can be convulsed with laughter but few can remember a specific "funny" line.
One of Connolly's most famous comedy skits is "The Crucifixion", an early 1970s recording in which he likens Christ's Last Supper to a drunken night out in Glasgow. The recording was banned by many radio stations at the time. Around this same time, a joke told during a television talk show appearance (about a murderer and his bike) became a sensation that, reportedly, people still remember three decades after the appearance. (A transcript of the complete joke can be found here).
Billy Connolly also performed a sketch broadcast on TV, when talking about national anthems, and comparing the UK's slow tune to the lively ones of many other nations, Billy suggested that it should be replaced by the theme tune to The Archers.
Connolly's style has changed over the years to be less controversial and more observational. Including topics such as himself aging, stories about where he has been and other aspects of his life. He also exclaims "Oh, I must tell you!" and vocalises whatever thought occurs to him. Another feature is his ability to break off onto a tangent mid-topic and return to it later -- sometimes as long as an hour later.
Awards
Connolly was awarded an honorary Doctor of Letters degree by the University of Glasgow on 11 July, 2001. This particularly bemused his wife, who noted that she had studied for six years to obtain her Ph.D., whereas Billy merely had to turn up and collect his. 2003 saw him presented with a BAFTA Lifetime Achievement award and a CBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours List.
On 4 July 2006, Connolly was awarded an honorary doctorate by Glasgow's Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama (RSAMD) for his service to performing arts [5].
Trivia
* While being interviewed with his wife on the Irish Late Late Show, Connolly proved how easily he forgets many great lines that other comedians could only hope to think of. The presenter was trying to get Connolly to reproduce a funny line he had read in "Bravemouth" about Connolly knowing of an organism that lives on a human eyelid that has two penises. He asked Connolly "What was it called?" to which Connolly replied "Some latin name that I can't remember". His wife then interrupted "But the translation means lucky bastard, right", to which Connolly broke down in a fit of laughter. When he complemented his wife on the line, she had to remind him that it was his own original line which he had forgotten.
* Connolly is a lifelong supporter of Glasgow football team, Celtic, and is often seen at their home games.
* Connolly came second in The Glasgow Herald's poll, "The Most Scottish Person In The World". Number one was Wee Jimmy Krankie (see The Krankies), while third place went to Russ Abbott's impersonation of a Scotsman.
D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
Billy Connolly Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
This song I'm about to do and I couldn't keep my hands off it
Our little dog is six years old
And he's smart as any damned kid
But when you mention the V.E.T.
He damned near flips his lid
Words like S.H.O.T shot
These are words that make him S.Q.U.I.R.M squirm
His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today
Coz he bit the V.E.T.
And then he ran away
He caused me and my wife
To have a big fight
And then both of them bit me
And that's why I am
Gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
She shouted get him Rover
And he jumped over
And bit my L.E.G.
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M.
And called me a *?**?
Well I'm telling you
That was my cue
To get O.F.F.ski
And I'm going down to the town tonight
To get a new B.I.R.D.
Oh yes His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today
Both my wife and my wee scabby dog
Will soon be hauled away
That's why I spell out all of these words
So as my dog can't hear
Oh I must admit that dog is actin' Q.U.E.E.R. queer
Oh yes I must admit my dog is actin' Q.U.E.E.R. queer
The song "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." by Billy Connolly is a humorous take on the experiences of getting a divorce. The song begins with the singer mentioning that he heard the song weeks ago and he couldn't keep his hands off it. The next lines of the song talk about the singer's dog who is six years old and very smart, but when words like shot or worm are mentioned, the dog becomes uneasy. The reason for this is revealed later in the song when the dog bites the vet, causing the start of his quarantine, and causing further disagreement between the singer and his wife, eventually leading towards the divorce.
The whole song is full of clever wordplay and humorous anecdotes. The singer talks about how his dog's quarantine starts on the day he bites the vet, and his wife and dog will soon be hauled away. In the end, he decides to get a "new bird" and hence, the title of the song, "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." becomes evident. The song also mentions the singer being bitten by both his wife and his dog, which adds to the humor.
Overall, "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." is a humorous song about a tough situation. The clever use of wordplay and anecdotes makes the song enjoyable to listen to, despite the somber topic.
Line by Line Meaning
Our little dog is six years old
Our beloved pet is not just a dog, but a member of our family, six years old and as smart as an average child
And he's smart as any damned kid
Our dog is intelligent enough to understand certain words, but also has a strong negative reaction to some, particularly related to VET visits
But when you mention the V.E.T.
We've noticed that our dog's behaviour changes when we use certain words that he associates with negative experiences, particularly the veterinary clinic
He damned near flips his lid
Our dog has a strong emotional response, showing signs of anxiety or even aggression, when he hears certain words related to the VET
Words like S.H.O.T shot
Talking about injections or vaccinations causes our dog great distress and anxiety
Or W.O.R.M worm
Even discussing parasites or other medical treatments that involve pills or liquids can cause our dog to react negatively
These are words that make him S.Q.U.I.R.M squirm
Using certain words can cause our dog to physically react, either cowering or attempting to escape
His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today
Our dog has bitten a vet, leading to him being placed under quarantine for the safety of others, including our family
Coz he bit the V.E.T.
Our dog has bitten a veterinarian during a visit, requiring him to be placed under quarantine
And then he ran away
After biting the vet, our dog escaped from the clinic, causing further complications and stress for our family
He caused me and my wife
Our dog's behaviour has had a significant impact on our family dynamic, causing tensions and disagreements between myself and my partner
To have a big fight
Our issues related to our dog's behaviour have escalated, leading to arguments between myself and my partner
And then both of them bit me
Not only has our dog bitten a vet, but my partner has also bitten me, showing the significant impact our dog's behaviour has had on our entire family
And that's why I am
Due to the significant stress and difficulties caused by our dog's behaviour, I have decided to take action
Gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
I have decided to end my marriage and get a divorce, as a result of the challenges created by our dog's behaviour
She shouted get him Rover
During the incident with the vet, my partner instructed our dog, by name, to attack or otherwise injure the professional who was trying to help our pet
And he jumped over
Our dog responded, by physically assaulting the vet, causing serious harm to the individual and resulting in legal consequences for our family
And bit my L.E.G.
The incident with the vet resulted in physical harm to myself, as our dog also bit me during the chaotic and dangerous altercation
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M.
As a result of the stress and dysfunction created by our dog's behaviour, my partner also became verbally and physically abusive towards me, causing further harm and trauma
And called me a *?**?
My partner used offensive, derogatory language towards me, demonstrating the toxic and harmful environment our dog's behaviour has helped to create
Well I'm telling you
I am sharing my story in order to express the toll that our dog's behaviour has taken on my life and the lives of my loved ones
That was my cue
The incident involving our dog, the vet, and myself was the final straw, prompting me to take action
To get O.F.F.ski
I am leaving my current situation, relationship, and location, in order to start a new life, separate from the challenges created by our dog's behaviour
And I'm going down to the town tonight
I am taking action to create a brighter future for myself, starting with a night out in the town and an opportunity to begin a fresh start
To get a new B.I.R.D.
I am making a decision to focus on new opportunities, including the possibility of finding a new partner, starting a new relationship, and creating a better life for myself
Oh yes His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E. starts today
Our dog has been placed under strict quarantine measures, including isolation from our family and a requirement for ongoing medical monitoring
Both my wife and my wee scabby dog
Both my partner and our dog are currently facing significant challenges, as a result of our dog's behaviour
Will soon be hauled away
The situation has become so serious that both our dog and my partner may be taken away from our home, for the safety of our family and others in the community
That's why I spell out all of these words
I have started using creative spelling and word substitutions, in order to avoid triggering our dog's negative associations and reactions
So as my dog can't hear
This strategy has been helpful, as it prevents our dog from becoming further agitated or distressed by hearing certain words or phrases
Oh I must admit that dog is actin' Q.U.E.E.R. queer
Despite our love for our dog, we have come to realize that his behaviour is unpredictable and sometimes inexplicable, making it difficult to understand or resolve his negative reactions and outbursts
Contributed by Ian N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
@geozeo710
Billy is the undisputed king of stand up.... Can hold a tune as well :)
@robmcguire7534
seems to be a trend with old style comedian's, Roy and Bernard are/were vocally blessed.
@jordanpuri4129
The Godfather of standup. Legend of a man.
@lediabolique5822
Ah, such great memories of my childhood. I wasn't always allowed to see Billy Connoly - because of the swearing - but this song was deemed 'acceptable' by my Mum!
@24934637
Pure genius. It'll be a sad say when he isn't around anymore.
@mikryan5846
What, you are upset that he will die eventually, you are the guy kneeling down to read the tiny writing on his grave stone
@FabulousIcedDonut
>Monty Python< 'I'm not dead yet'
@derekfinlay1739
Comedy genius legend
@ozbondwizard8487
Jesus Christ! Is that the time already?
@MrClassicInTheMaking
Everybody: You can't make spelling funny.
Billy: Hold my beer.