Sergeant Where's Mine?
Billy Connolly Lyrics


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I'm lyin' in bed, I'm in room twenty-six
Thinkin' on things that I've done
Like drinkin' wi' squaddies and bullin' my boots
I'm countin' the medals I've won

These hospital wards they're all drab lookin' joints
But the ceiling's as much as I see
It could do with a wee touch of paper or paint
But then again, maybe that's me

Chorus: Oh sergeant, is this the adventure you meant
When I put my name down on the line
All that talk of computers and sunshine and skis
Oh, I'm askin' you, sergeant, where's mine

I've a brother in Glasgow wi' long, curly hair
When I joined up he said I was daft
He says shootin' strangers just is nae his game
That brother of mine is nae saft

But I can put up wi' most things I've done in the time
I can even put up with the pains




But what do you do with a gun in your hand
When you're faced with a hundred odd wanes

Overall Meaning

Billy Connolly's song "Sergeant Where's Mine?" is about a soldier laying in a hospital bed, reflecting on his experiences in the army. The soldier thinks about the things he's done while in service such as drinking with other soldiers and polishing his boots. He counts the medals that he's won but grows disillusioned with the reality of the hospital ward where he lays. Though he acknowledges that the ward is dreary, he wonders if he's simply become too jaded.


The chorus of the song highlights the soldier's disappointment regarding the disparity between what he was told to expect and reality. He wonders if the adventure he signed up for in the army was simply a ruse, referencing "computers and sunshine and skis" and questioning where it is. Later in the song, Connolly explores the idea of a relative who was against the idea of him joining the army, saying that shooting strangers isn't his game. Despite the soldier's own willingness to tolerate pain, he struggles to come to terms with holding a gun and facing children.


Overall, "Sergeant Where's Mine?" is a critical look at the realities of being in the army versus the glamorous expectations of the recruits. The song questions the nature of the adventures promised to soldiers as opposed to the harsher realities of war.




Line by Line Meaning

I'm lyin' in bed, I'm in room twenty-six
I am currently in a hospital bed in room twenty-six and lying down.


Thinkin' on things that I've done
I am reflecting on my past experiences and actions.


Like drinkin' wi' squaddies and bullin' my boots
Some of the things I have done include having drinks with fellow soldiers and cleaning and shining my boots.


I'm countin' the medals I've won
I am taking stock of the number of medals I have received for my service in the military.


These hospital wards they're all drab lookin' joints
The hospital rooms are all very plain and uninteresting.


But the ceiling's as much as I see
The only thing I can see from my bed is the ceiling above me.


It could do with a wee touch of paper or paint
I think that adding some wallpaper or a fresh coat of paint could brighten up the room a bit.


But then again, maybe that's me
Perhaps I am just being overly critical and picky about the appearance of the room.


Chorus: Oh sergeant, is this the adventure you meant
This is a question directed at my sergeant, asking if this is what he meant by this military experience being an adventure.


When I put my name down on the line
When I initially signed up for the military.


All that talk of computers and sunshine and skis
All the talk beforehand about having access to computers, enjoying good weather, and going skiing.


Oh, I'm askin' you, sergeant, where's mine
I am wondering where all of those promised perks and benefits are that were mentioned before I joined the military.


I've a brother in Glasgow wi' long, curly hair
I have a brother who lives in Glasgow and has long, curly hair.


When I joined up he said I was daft
My brother thought I was foolish for joining the military.


He says shootin' strangers just is nae his game
My brother is not interested in shooting at people he does not know.


That brother of mine is nae saft
Despite his aversion to the military, my brother is not a soft person.


But I can put up wi' most things I've done in the time
I have learned to tolerate and endure most of the things I have had to do during my time in the military.


I can even put up with the pains
I am able to tolerate the physical and emotional pains that come with military service.


But what do you do with a gun in your hand
I am contemplating the moral and ethical implications of having a weapon in my possession.


When you're faced with a hundred odd wanes
When confronted with a large group of children or young people.




Contributed by Julian N. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@terryh9559

Havnt heard this one in years, well done Billy lad!

@robbates1578

Probably the best thing Mr Connelly ever wrote

@willemslie

Didn't expect to find this one anywhere. Takes me back many years. Thanks forn posting.

@jacobgordon7998

Never realized until a month ago that this song was written by Billy Connelly. Great song.

Billy is a legend. My first awareness of Mr. Connelly was in the American sitcom 'Head of the Class', so I've been a fan of his since then.

@leszektemplewicz3362

I just discovered this amazing song!!! Thank you for posting!

@DanielMcGregor

I have the vinyl record. Inherited from my dad. Listening to those records made me a fan of the big yin before anyone outside the UK knew who he is. :)

@tartanrocker5926

first saw him play in a school auditorium here in Canada..no many folk there, it wis the Banana Feet tour....gawd...'73? '74? mibbe??...came oot wi' a sair face fae laughing that much!!!....Billy, yer brilliant!!!

@marcusm4766

He also recorded this with The Dubliners on their 30 Years A-Greying album in 1992.

@eddymcpre

Great version that, lovely collaboration with the dubs

@bigtittyhooker5133

Its been decades since I heard this on my dads tape, thanks mate for putting a lump in my throat.

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