10 Lessons In Love
Biscuit Boy AKA Crackerman Lyrics
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and they probably won't notice your weight (That's 1)
No one counts the acres in the field
when they're swinging on gate
Distracting their attention is achieved
with a worrying ease
They can't taste the fruit
The scar you conceal
the stretch marks covered up at all times
Won't ever surface if you shag him
and start talking star signs
There's a thousand sweeping statements that you can use
before he reaches the bra
And if he's close to unhooking the truth
whisper "Time at the bar" (That's 3)
If you brush up on History and Science
he'll be able to blag
The "She's too intelligent" or
"She's just a friend we don't shag"
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'll see him around (5 - 6)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
Hooking men is easy
losing them is tougher by far
Cause if they're drunk enough to fuck you
then they can't be driving home in their car
So get him in a cab, make him pay
drag him into your flat
Keep him topped up with whatever
got you as far as that
And in the morning when he opens his eyes
let it all hang down
Then time how long it takes him to ask
for a taxi to town
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'll see him around (5 - 6)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
(You're bigger, more beautiful)
Hiding men in every crease
(Bigger, more beautiful)
Hiding men in every crease
One night stands
shouldn't fill themselves with shame
Maybe just a promise next time
to take a steadier aim
Why every guy denies
receiving 1st prize
Like its pumpkin or marrow at fayre
not a human with eyes
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'll see him around
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
(You're bigger, more beautiful)
Hiding men in every crease
(Bigger, more beautiful)
Hiding men in every crease
Trapped by the mob he'll confess
that he stayed the whole night
But only agreed
after putting up a hell of a fight
And if you leave him your e-mail address
it's a pretty safe bet
He'll be hiding his computer
and denying ever using the net
It's 10 lessons in love
10 lessons in love
10 lessons...
10 lessons...
10 lessons in love
10 lessons in love
The lyrics to Biscuit Boy AKA Crackerman's "10 Lessons in Love" are a detailed examination of the tactics and strategies that women often use to distract men from their physical appearance and to win their affection. The song is structured around a list of ten lessons, each of which contains a specific tip or technique for manipulating men.
In the first lesson, the singer advises women to "keep 'em busy talking" so that they won't notice their weight. This is followed by a series of other tactics, such as distracting men with sweeping statements, talking about star signs, and using history and science to sound intelligent. The song also touches on the dangers of one-night stands, emphasizing the importance of safe sex and responsible behavior.
Line by Line Meaning
You Keep 'em busy talking
and they probably won't notice your weight (That's 1)
Easily distract them by engaging in small talk to divert their attention from possible weight issues.
No one counts the acres in the field
when they're swinging on gate
People tend to overlook things when they're having fun.
And if he's close to unhooking the truth
whisper "Time at the bar" (That's 3)
If the guy is close to discovering the truth, divert his attention by suggesting going to the bar.
If you brush up on History and Science
he'll be able to blag
The "She's too intelligent" or
"She's just a friend we don't shag"
If you are knowledgeable in history and science, you can make the guy believe that you are just a friend or too intelligent for him to ask you out.
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'll see him around (5 - 6)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
Do not give him any indication that you are interested in seeing him again, as he may insult you in the future.
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
If you successfully apply all 10 lessons, you will be more attractive and have more partners.
Cause if they're drunk enough to fuck you
then they can't be driving home in their car
If they are drunk enough to have sex with you, they shouldn't be driving and you should make sure they get home safely.
Trapped by the mob he'll confess
that he stayed the whole night
But only agreed
after putting up a hell of a fight
If questioned about spending the night, he may admit to it but claim he did not intend to in the first place.
And if you leave him your e-mail address
it's a pretty safe bet
He'll be hiding his computer
and denying ever using the net
If you give him your email address, he may try to hide the fact that he is using the internet to contact you.
One night stands
shouldn't fill themselves with shame
Maybe just a promise next time
to take a steadier aim
One night stands should not be shameful, but maybe aim to have a more committed encounter next time.
Contributed by Samuel P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.