Mustang Ranch
Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears Lyrics


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Hey we got a job on our way
From Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight
It′s a long drive man
Ain't nothing to do
We were bored on the way
Me and Bill up in the front
I said ′Man is that a UFO'?
He said 'I think it is
I think there′s two′
I said 'Man is that place Mustang Ranch on the way′?
He said 'Yeah, let′s call 'em up′
Called the girl up on the phone
She 'hello'
I said ′How much would it be
For me to come over and get my, my, my,
My ham glazed′?
She said

Wooooooooooooooo

How fast does love come for
You know its gonna have to come real cheap

We pulled up there
'Round 7 o′clock in the mornin'
Big old fat dude come up
Comin′ around the car with a gun on his hip
He said 'Watcha all want′?
'We just hop in the van to get our ham roasted'
He said ′I need to see some id′
Showed him id and
He got up in the van
Dagwood sleeping back there like he always is
Dude put his flashlight in his face
Dagwood looks over and says 'what′s goin' on′?

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy

Gonna need some id boys
You don't come in here
Messin′ with my place

Went in there
And two good ol' bad girls come on
Sitting on both sides of me
They say 'What′s up baby′?
I said 'Now what′s going with yo'?
′Whatchu want?
I said 'I want my ham to get glazed′
She said 'Well come here in the back
And we'll talk about it′
′Say, you need a threesome'
I say ′I only need take one
To get my ham glazed'
She say ′How much money you got'
I say ′I got about twenty dollars'
She says

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You gonna need more than that boy
I ain't no bad free wild girl
Gonna rock that Ranch to pay
Gettin in the way you drink

Now Bill got to find wandering eye
She came out the back
Lookin′ fine and he was jealous
She took him by the hand
And he went back to the jungle room
And his teeth were chattering
And he was sweating bullets
Cause he was so damn scared
And she sat him down on the couch
Put her hand on his leg
And said ′Whatchu wanna do with me'?
He says ′I want my ham to be glazed'
She says ′How much money you got'?
He says ′Twenty dollars'
And she says

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You gonna need more than that boy
If you gettin' gonna get with me




At the Mustang Ranch you pay
Gettin in the way you be

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears' song "Mustang Ranch" tell the story of two bored guys driving from Salt Lake City to San Francisco, who decide to call up a brothel called the Mustang Ranch on the way. When they arrive, they are confronted by a big old fat dude with a gun, who demands to see their IDs. They eventually make it inside and are propositioned by two women, but when they reveal they only have twenty dollars, the women are not impressed. The song is witty and playful, with a lot of sexual innuendo and humor.


On a deeper level, the song is a commentary on the intersection of capitalism and sex, and how people are willing to commodify their bodies and desires for profit. The Mustang Ranch is a real-life brothel in Nevada that was closed down in the 1990s, but the legacy of the sex industry in America lives on. By using humor and playful language, Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears are able to critique the commodification of sex without being heavy-handed or preachy.


Overall, "Mustang Ranch" is a fun and clever song that manages to be explicit without being vulgar, and that highlights some important social issues without losing its sense of humor.


Line by Line Meaning

Hey we got a job on our way
We are on our way to San Francisco from Salt Lake City and on the lookout for ways to kill time during the long drive.


Ain't nothing to do
We are bored out of our minds during the long drive.


Me and Bill up in the front
I am driving and my friend Bill is riding shotgun.


I said 'Man is that a UFO'?
I see something in the sky that looks like a UFO.


He said 'I think it is
Bill thinks that the object in the sky is indeed a UFO.


I think there's two'
I also think that there are two UFOs in the sky.


He said 'Yeah, let's call 'em up'
Bill agrees to call a place called Mustang Ranch that he knows about.


Called the girl up on the phone
We call Mustang Ranch and a girl answers the phone.


She 'hello'
The girl greets us with a 'hello'.


I said 'How much would it be For me to come over and get my, my, my, My ham glazed'?
I ask the girl at Mustang Ranch how much it would cost for me to have some fun with her.


She said Wooooooooooooooo How fast does love come for You know its gonna have to come real cheap
The girl tells me that the price is cheap and that I should hurry up and come to Mustang Ranch.


Big old fat dude come up Comin' around the car with a gun on his hip He said 'Watcha all want'?
We arrive at Mustang Ranch and a large, intimidating man with a gun approaches us and asks us what we want.


'We just hop in the van to get our ham roasted'
We try to convince the man that we are innocent and just looking for some fun.


Dude put his flashlight in his face Dagwood looks over and says 'what's goin' on'?
The man shines a flashlight in Dagwood's face, startling him and causing him to ask what is happening.


Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy Gonna need some id boys You don't come in here Messin' with my place
The man demands to see our IDs and warns us not to cause any trouble at Mustang Ranch.


Went in there And two good ol' bad girls come on Sitting on both sides of me They say 'What's up baby'? I said 'Now what's going with yo'? 'Whatchu want?
We enter Mustang Ranch and are greeted by two attractive women who begin to flirt with me. I ask them what they are interested in.


She said 'Well come here in the back And we'll talk about it' 'Say, you need a threesome'
One of the women suggests a threesome and invites me to a private room.


I say 'I only need take one To get my ham glazed'
I decline the invitation for a threesome and tell the women that I only need one of them for my needs.


She say 'How much money you got' I say 'I got about twenty dollars'
The woman asks me how much money I have, and I tell her I have about $20.


She says Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo You gonna need more than that boy I ain't no bad free wild girl Gonna rock that Ranch to pay Gettin in the way you drink
The woman tells me that $20 is not enough and that I need to pay more if I want her services. She warns me not to get in the way of the other patrons' drinking.


Now Bill got to find wandering eye She came out the back Lookin' fine and he was jealous She took him by the hand And he went back to the jungle room
Bill finds another woman to take him to a private room and is led to the 'jungle room'.


And his teeth were chattering And he was sweating bullets Cause he was so damn scared And she sat him down on the couch Put her hand on his leg And said 'Whatchu wanna do with me'?
Bill is nervous and intimidated, but the woman tries to calm him down and seduce him.


He says 'I want my ham to be glazed' She says 'How much money you got'? He says 'Twenty dollars' And she says Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo You gonna need more than that boy If you gettin' gonna get with me At the Mustang Ranch you pay Gettin in the way you be
Bill tells the woman he only has $20, and she tells him he needs to pay more if he wants to be with her. She warns him not to interfere with the other patrons' activities at Mustang Ranch.




Writer(s): Joe Lewis, Zachary Ernst

Contributed by Jordan Y. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@beaconmike

This cartoon captures what happens out there perfectly. My memories exactly from in the 80's!

@rippertrain

Sent this to all my buddies today. Love it

@jpmthemonk

I saw this video, and lost it. Then I actually lost this video and spent about half an hour scouring Google: "music video brothel animated band van bouncer". Then I found it I was like OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!

@looshkin66

the wisdom of this song is: it only takes one to get your ham glazed

@champayne55

Got mine glazed at the Kit Kat (just outside Virginia City, NV) Christmas Eve, 1978.

@AJP9585

Seeing Black Joe at 1st Ave in Minneapolis Oct 1st. I am anticipating a good time.

@jimmiranda

Getch yo ham glazed! Great song!

@bassmule

Big props to Justin Buschardt and Tad Catalano. Great work, guys.

@MIOLAZARUS

I like this!

@KickenItOldSchool

Saw these dudes at Coachella in April, they were Awesome!

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