Mustang Ranch
Black Joe Lewis The Honeybears Lyrics
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From Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight
It's a long drive man, ain't nothing to do
We were bored on the way
Me and Bill up in the front
I said, "Man is that a UFO"?
He said, "I think it is
I think there's two"
He said, "Yeah, let's call 'em up"
Called the girl up on the phone
She said, "Hello"
I said, "How much would it be for me to come over and get my
My, my, my ham glazed?
She said
Woo
How fast does love come for
You know its gonna have to come real cheap
We pulled up there 'round 7 o'clock in the mornin'
Big old fat dude come up
Comin" around the car with a gun on his hip
He said "Watcha all want"?
"We just hop in the van to get our ham roasted"
He said, "I need to see some ID"
Showed him ID and he got up in the van
Dagwood went back to sleep like he always is
Dude put his flashlight in his face
Dagwood looks over and says, "What's goin" on?"
Hey
Gonna need some id boys
You don't come in here messin' with my place
Went in there and two good ol' bad girls come on
Sitting on both sides of me
They say, "What's up baby"?
I said "Now what's going with yo?"
"Whatchu want?"
I said, "I want my ham to get glazed"
She said, "Well come here in the back and we'll talk about it"
She said, "You need a threesome"
I say, "I only need take one to get my ham glazed"
She say, "How much money you got"
I say, "I got about twenty dollars"
She says no
You gonna need more than that, boy
I ain't no bad free wild girl
Gonna rock that Ranch to pay
Gettin' in the way you drink
Now Bill got to find wandering eye
She came out the back in her underwear
Lookin' fine and I was jealous
She took him by the hand
And he went back to the jungle room
And his teeth were chattering
And he was sweating bullets cause he was so damn scared
And she sat him down on the couch put her hand on his leg
And said, "Whatchu wanna do with me?"
He says, "I want my ham to be glazed"
She says, "How much money you got?"
He says, "Twenty dollars"
And she says oh
You gonna need more than that boy
If you gettin' gonna get with me
At the Mustang Ranch you pay
Gettin' in the way you be
The lyrics of "Mustang Ranch" by Black Joe Lewis & The Honeybears tell a story of a group of friends embarking on a long drive from Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight. The journey is described as boring, and the singer and his friend Bill start joking about spotting a UFO and contemplating visiting the infamous Mustang Ranch brothel along the way. The mention of the UFO adds a sense of whimsy to the song, showcasing the lighthearted banter between the characters as they seek amusement during their road trip.
As they pull up at the Mustang Ranch early in the morning, they are greeted by a stern, gun-carrying man who questions their intentions. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of the tense encounter as the man inspects their ID, creating a moment of suspense and uncertainty. The characterization of the man as a formidable figure adds a touch of danger and unease to the narrative, contrasting with the initial jovial tone of the song.
Upon entering the Ranch, the singer is approached by two women offering him services, but he humorously insists on having his "ham glazed" instead of engaging in any romantic activities. The playful exchange between the singer and the women showcases a blend of humor and innuendo, as they negotiate over the price for his peculiar request. The mention of a threesome and the discussion of payment add a provocative layer to the lyrics, capturing the atmosphere of the Mustang Ranch and the interactions within.
The final verse shifts the focus to the singer's friend Bill, who finds himself in a nerve-wracking situation as he encounters one of the women at the Ranch. The tension is palpable as Bill expresses his desire for his "ham to be glazed" and reveals his limited budget of twenty dollars. The woman's dismissive response highlights the transactional nature of the encounters at the Ranch and underscores the theme of the song, emphasizing the idea that desires come at a price. Overall, the lyrics of "Mustang Ranch" blend humor, tension, and provocative imagery to offer a colorful depiction of a visit to a notorious establishment along a road trip adventure.
Lyrics © ROUGH TRADE PUBLISHING, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: Zachary Clark Ernst, Joe David Lewis
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@beaconmike
This cartoon captures what happens out there perfectly. My memories exactly from in the 80's!
@rippertrain
Sent this to all my buddies today. Love it
@jpmthemonk
I saw this video, and lost it. Then I actually lost this video and spent about half an hour scouring Google: "music video brothel animated band van bouncer". Then I found it I was like OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!
@looshkin66
the wisdom of this song is: it only takes one to get your ham glazed
@champayne55
Got mine glazed at the Kit Kat (just outside Virginia City, NV) Christmas Eve, 1978.
@AJP9585
Seeing Black Joe at 1st Ave in Minneapolis Oct 1st. I am anticipating a good time.
@jimmiranda
Getch yo ham glazed! Great song!
@bassmule
Big props to Justin Buschardt and Tad Catalano. Great work, guys.
@MIOLAZARUS
I like this!
@KickenItOldSchool
Saw these dudes at Coachella in April, they were Awesome!