Matthew Tyler Musto (born November 27, 1990), professionally known as Black… Read Full Bio ↴Matthew Tyler Musto (born November 27, 1990), professionally known as Blackbear (stylized as blackbear), is an American musician, singer, songwriter, and record producer. He has released six studio albums, six EPs, one mixtape and two collaborative albums. Musto is also a member of the alternative hip hop/R&B duo Mansionz with singer-songwriter Mike Posner.

Sometimes I Want 2 Die
Blackbear Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Yeah.
I was a fiend for the coke,
Sniffin' dreams up my nose.
But I'm off that now.

I was a liar and a theif,
Had opinions and beliefs.
But I'm off that now.

I was a lover and a friend,
Never worried 'bout the ends.
But I'm off that shit right now.

I wasn't love, I wasn't lust.
I was a lover you could trust.
But I'm off that shit right now.
Yeah.

I was the one to tell the truth,
Keep it real and disapprove.
But I'm off that now.

I was a slave to the lean.
Couldn't feel, couldn't see.
But I'm off that shit right now.

Sometimes I wanna die.
I don't care if it's sad,
I want to die.
Take all my money out the ATM
And start a little bonfire.
Ay.

Let it burn, let it burn,
Let it burn all night.
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

Let it burn, let it burn,
Let it burn all night.

And if I die before I wake up,
I pray to God there's whiskey and a chaser.

Overall Meaning

In "Sometimes I Want 2 Die", Blackbear is brutally honest about his past struggles with addiction, love, and the pursuit of happiness. The opening lines reveal that he was once addicted to cocaine, and would snort it to escape reality, but has managed to break free from that lifestyle. He then speaks about his past life as a liar, thief, and someone who had strong opinions and beliefs, but has since changed his ways. Blackbear also refers to himself as a lover and friend, who never used to worry about the future, but has now decided to move on from that carefree attitude.

Blackbear describes himself as someone who was reliable, truthful, and real, and would disapprove of anything fake or superficial. However, he admits that he was once addicted to lean, a combination of codeine and soda, which made him feel numb and disconnected from the world. He then confesses that sometimes he wants to die, even though it may seem sad to others, and that he would take all his money out of the ATM and start a bonfire to let his problems burn out.

The imagery of the bonfire symbolizes the desire for a fresh start, to put the past behind and start anew. Blackbear also prays for his soul to be taken up by the Lord, indicating a struggle with faith and spirituality. He ends the song on a lighter note, wishing for whiskey and a chaser in case he passes away in his sleep.

Overall, "Sometimes I Want 2 Die" is a raw and authentic reflection on the trials and tribulations of life, and how it is possible to overcome them.

Line by Line Meaning

Yeah.
Acknowledgment of acceptance towards the following lyrics.

I was a fiend for the coke, Sniffin' dreams up my nose. But I'm off that now.
I used to be addicted to cocaine, wasting my potential while chasing unrealistic goals. But I've kicked that habit now.

I was a liar and a thief, Had opinions and beliefs. But I'm off that now.
I was dishonest and manipulative, causing strife in my relationships. I held onto misguided viewpoints and values, but that's all in the past now.

I was a lover and a friend, Never worried 'bout the ends. But I'm off that shit right now.
I cared deeply for my partners and friends, prioritizing their happiness over my own. But I've recognized the need for balance and healthy boundaries in relationships, so I've changed that mindset now.

I wasn't love, I wasn't lust. I was a lover you could trust. But I'm off that shit right now. Yeah.
I wasn't led by superficial desires of love or lust, but rather by a genuine connection and loyalty to my partners. However, I now recognize the importance of my own needs and self-respect, so I've let go of that mindset.

I was the one to tell the truth, Keep it real and disapprove. But I'm off that now.
I used to be bluntly honest with people, regardless of how it made them feel. While I still value honesty, I now consider the impact of my words and approach conversations with empathy and tact.

I was a slave to the lean. Couldn't feel, couldn't see. But I'm off that shit right now.
I was addicted to codeine cough syrup, which numbed my emotions and distorted my perception of reality. I've recognized the harm this addiction caused and the need for a healthier lifestyle, so I'm no longer dependent on it.

Sometimes I wanna die. I don't care if it's sad, I want to die. Take all my money out the ATM And start a little bonfire. Ay.
Sometimes my depression feels overwhelming, and I become consumed with thoughts of self-harm. Although I know it's not a solution, I feel like I'd rather die than continue feeling this way. In that moment, burning my money seems like a petty, cathartic act of rebellion against society and meaningless materialism.

Let it burn, let it burn, Let it burn all night. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
I'm embracing nihilism, and instead of killing myself directly, I'll let my possessions go up in flames as a symbolic act of self-destruction. I don't have much hope for anything beyond this life, but I'm willing to take that risk.

Let it burn, let it burn, Let it burn all night. And if I die before I wake up, I pray to God there's whiskey and a chaser.
Continuing with my nihilistic mindset, I've resigned myself to the possibility of dying tonight. If that happens, I'd like to at least be able to enjoy one final drink of whiskey, with something soft to follow it up. I know it's a dark thought, but that's where I'm at right now.

Writer(s): Matthew Tyler Musto, Jordan Alexander Reyes, Peter James Hortaridis, Aaron Curtis Harmon

Contributed by Claire A. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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