Ghosts
Blestenation Lyrics

My fault
I am responsible for the mistakes that have occurred in our relationship.

My bad
Please excuse my mistakes.

I had to be trippin
I made these mistakes because I was not in the right state of mind.

Im wipin your tears and Id do it again
I feel guilt for causing you pain, and I would help you again if given the chance.

Youre playin the game
You are participating in our relationship.

Im layin a claim to your brain when I fuck with your head
I am trying to control your thoughts and emotions when I manipulate or deceive you.

Youre playin for change but shit is just stayin the same
You are hoping for improvement, but our relationship is not progressing.

Cause I got that chain around you even when I aint around
My influence over you is present even when I am not physically present.

I paintin in the town
I am making a name for myself in the local area.

You awake in the house
You are up all night thinking in our shared home.

Cursin and sayin my name
You are expressing anger and frustration towards me.

You callin me but my voice mail just picks up on the first ring
I am not answering your calls, and you are struggling to reach me.

Your mind is playin the worst thing
You are imagining the worst-case scenarios in our situation.

Into tears again youre bursting
You are crying again because of our relationship.

Here it comes just like rehearsed
Your tears and negative feelings are recurring patterns that happen frequently.

Thats just how the cycle works
Our relationship has become predictable, and we are stuck in a harmful cycle.

Theres a ghost in me
I have lingering regrets and emotions from our past relationship.

Who wants to say Im sorry
Part of me wants to apologize for my past actions.

Doesnt mean Im sorry
However, I am not actually sorry for my past actions.

Part of me just wants to say that Im sorry
I am conflicted about whether or not to apologize to you.

But Im not so I gotta be pardoned
I cannot apologize, so I must be forgiven instead.

Im a hard hitter my heart is just hardened
I have built up emotional barriers and cannot express genuine concern or affection.

It froze its over darlin
My emotional state has become too cold and distant to restore what we once had.

Listen I know that its sad that youre cryin
I understand that my actions have hurt you and made you upset.

And I dont care, but Im tired
However, I no longer feel any empathy towards your pain and am becoming worn out from this cycle.

Of all the moaning and bitching and whining
I am becoming annoyed with your tendency to complain about our relationship.

I just came here to pick up whats mine and be on my way
I have come to retrieve my belongings and want to leave our relationship behind me.

Ive got an appointment
I have other plans and things to do besides our relationship.

Yeah, Ive got a job employment
I have responsibilities that I must prioritize over our relationship.

You were a puppet, a prop, a pawn for my enjoyment
I saw you as a tool for my own amusement and gain within our relationship.

To get to my point, I met someone else
I have found someone new to replace you in my life.

Whos better in bed, better-looking, respects me
This new person is more physically attractive and sexually fulfilling and treats me with more respect than our past relationship.

Someone whos trying, who protects me
This new person is putting in effort and cares for my well-being more than our past relationship.

Heh
A colloquial expression of amusement or casual dismissal.

I woke up this morning cold and lonely
I woke up feeling empty and alone without you.

And my first waking thought was to get angry with you
My initial reaction was to blame you for the way I feel.

It was the first time Id thought of you in a while
I had been avoiding thinking about you and our past relationship.

But there I was mad because I was cold and lonely
However, I realized that my frustration came from my own feelings of emptiness rather than anything to do with you.

And I guess it was that I was mad because you werent there
I was upset that you were not present to help me deal with my negative emotions.

Its just sometimes my friends tell me that I?
Occasionally my friends tell me that I did something wrong in our relationship.

That I?? in New York and L.A.
The specifics of their accusations change depending on who I am talking to.

Not that I?? in December
These conversations often happen during the holiday season.

Anyway, I had a very pleasant second date tonight with a very nice man
I went out with someone else and had a good time.

I probably had too much to drink
I drank too much alcohol and am not thinking clearly.

I probably shouldnt be writing you now
I perhaps should not be sending you this message at this time.

Its stupid, and petty, and childish and isnt going to do me any good
I acknowledge that my actions are neither mature nor productive.

But the truth is the truth
I must acknowledge my feelings and emotions towards our past relationship.