Hell Yeah
Bloodhound Gang Lyrics

Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
We have an entertaining tale to share with you.

We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!
We want to introduce you to someone who is righteous and holy like a biblical figure.

Hell yeah
Absolutely yes!

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
If I were all-powerful, I wouldn't allow any explicit sexual content on television.

Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea
Depicting inappropriate and offensive TV content would be unacceptable and censored.

If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2" If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no
If I held the power of a deity, I would command my followers not to worship false idols, and I would accept new additions to the Holy book, including mentions of cult celebrities. I would also eliminate discriminatory practices of making fun of other religions and condemn poorly received sequels with logical plotting. These are rules that are unacceptable, and they should not be tolerated.

If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing
If I were a divinity, I would refuse physical labor and assign a group of people to do things for me. I would also exploit specific groups of people, such as Scandinavian homosexual women who can mentally and physically satisfy me with little compensation.

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins thou shall not cut "Footloose" If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no
If I were a higher power, it would be prohibited to wear tube socks with flip-flops or to engage in potential indecent activities such as swingers. However, people are permitted to move in circles or switch out their spouses. Additionally, it’s crucial to avoid the temptation of Olsen twins and not cut a specific foot-dance.

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
In an event where I am nailed to a cross, I'll lie and say I've found Jesus to distract those crucifying me. In essence, he's a guy who likes stealing cars' hubcaps; I could really use his crowbar at this moment.

To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt Crucified and all I got was this lousy tee shirt "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
Removing the nails that pierce me is a painful and unpleasant process. Unfortunately, all that I have left after my brutal execution is a measly t-shirt with the words "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." In response, I'll sing as I'm whipped and suffer, eluding to the fact that if I were God, I would act with the same humorless contempt for the mortals.

So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven" With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick You just can't teach an old God new tricks
Support my divine campaign and receive the ultimate reward, an entrance to Heaven. The current incumbent is dull and ineffective, with questionable and concerning behavior, much like Kevin Spacey's character in the movie "Seven." Though he threatens those who oppose him, he still clings to outdated policies and traditions.

But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy? Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
Despite having the ability to be the chosen one with stature and power, given the circumstance that I possess inadequate self-esteem, I may fail as a Messiah. If I were to lack faith in myself, would that not be an example of blasphemy? I'd opt to mask my insecurities to give off the persona of 'holier than thou.'