The Bad Touch
Bloodhound Gang Lyrics
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We call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about
(I'd appreciate your input)
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes, I'm Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered
Like my Waffle House hash browns
Comin' quicker than FedEx, never reaching apex
Just like Coca-Cola stock, you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
(Do it now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it again now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Gettin' horny now)
Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics, let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean
Means small craft advisory
So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, B-5, you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours, I'll show you mine, "Tool Time"
You'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style
So we can both watch X-Files
(Do it now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it again now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Gettin' horny now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it again now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Do it again now)
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
(Gettin' horny now)
The lyrics to Bloodhound Gang's "The Bad Touch" explore the theme of human sexuality through a series of clever, pun-filled lyrics. The chorus repeatedly emphasizes the point that humans are, in many ways, just another type of animal, and that our sexual behaviour is no different from that of other animals. The singer urges his partner to engage in rough sex with him, using humorous metaphors relating to food and shipping to describe his own arousal.
The song also contains several pop culture references, including comparisons to movie critics Siskel and Ebert and the TV show Tool Time. The chorus's comparison to the Discovery Channel's nature shows suggests that the singer sees sex as a primal, instinctive act that transcends culture and civilization.
Line by Line Meaning
Haha, well now
I'm about to sing a fun and provocative song
We call this the act of mating
Having sex is what we refer to as the process of reproduction
But there are several other very important differences
Humans have unique qualities and characteristics that differentiate us from animals
Between human beings and animals that you should know about
It's important to be aware of these differences when engaging in sexual activity
Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought
Having sex will make us sweat, and in Texas' hot, dry climate, it's common to experience drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
Our sexual activities are so taboo, only the late singer, Prince, would dare sing about them
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Touching my genitals will be a pleasurable experience for you
Yes, I'm Siskel, yes, I'm Ebert
I'm giving you two thumbs up, like the famous film critics Siskel and Ebert
And you're getting two thumbs up
Your sexual performance is deserving of a positive rating
You've had enough of two-hand touch
You're ready for more extreme and physical sexual activity
You want it rough, you're out of bounds
You desire rough sex that could be considered taboo or outside the norm
I want you smothered, want you covered
I want to be close to you and have intimate contact
Like my Waffle House hash browns
Specifically, I want to cover you like the hash browns at the popular diner chain, Waffle House
Comin' quicker than FedEx, never reaching apex
I am climaxing quickly, never reaching the peak of arousal
Just like Coca-Cola stock, you are inclined
Your sexual performance is unpredictable, like the stock value of Coca-Cola
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time
You have a powerful effect on me, causing me to wake up early and feel energized, like when the clocks change during Daylight Savings Time
Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Our love is messy and requires physical cleaning to maintain it
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it
We've had so much sex in so many places that no one can keep track of where it's happened except for God
Hieroglyphics, let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
Our sexual experience is like an ancient, secret language, and I want to be intimately connected with you and explore your body like a sailor exploring the South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean
I have a feeling your sexual prowess is powerful, like the movement of a strong ocean current
Means small craft advisory
Because of your power, it's wise to caution others not to get too close, like a warning against small watercraft in rough waters
So if I capsize in your thighs, high tide, B-5, you sunk my battleship
If I get lost in the intensity of our sexual contact, I could be overwhelmed and lost, like a ship sinking to the ocean floor
Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip
I'm eager to be aroused and ready for sex, like a coffee maker with an automatic drip function
So show me yours, I'll show you mine, "Tool Time"
Let's be open and share intimate parts of our bodies, like the hosts of the TV show "Tool Time" discussing their tools
You'll Lovett just like Lyle
I'll pleasure you in the way that actor Lyle Lovett is known to pleasure women
And then we'll do it doggy style
We'll have sex in the position commonly known as "doggy style"
So we can both watch X-Files
We'll have sex while watching the popular TV show, "The X-Files"
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
We are only animals, driven by our primal urges
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Let's have sex like we've seen animals do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now
I'm becoming sexually aroused and excited
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Written by: James M. Franks
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
@TrangleC
@@TANQ31 I understand where you're coming from, but I think if you look for it, you can still find a lot of good modern music.
Nowadays, thanks to the internet, pop culture is a all you can eat buffet. You can find anything you like and find likeminded people to share stuff with.
Back in the 80s and 90s things weren't all that great either. It was a hand full of bald, 40 year old gatekeepers sitting in some office building in LA or NYC, who decided for the whole world what music we kids would get to hear.
Searching out stuff outside of the mainstream was pretty hard and tedious and the mainstream was relentless. There are songs from the 90s that still give me PTSD like symptoms when I hear them today, because they were played so much on the radio and MTV and other music channels that I'm still sick of them till today.
"Black Holed Sun" from Sound Garden is one such example. It objectively is a very good song and it has become a classic and again, objectively I understand why, but subjectively I hate it, because it feels like it was playing 100 times a day on the radio and MTV for what felt like a year or so in my memory.
What I'll say now is very controversial and many people would be outraged when reading it, but I genuinely think that many of the mega stars from the 80s and 90s were only so successful because they were rammed down everyone's throat for decades.
I genuinely think if people like Madonna or Michael Jackson would start their careers nowadays, in the modern music business where people actually can chose what they like to hear freely, they would never have become mega stars.
Back then you just didn't have much choice.
Somebody decided "this is hot right now!" and then the business force fed it to the masses.
Long story short, not everything was as great back then as it might look through the pink nostalgia goggles and not everything today is bad, just because it is different from what we were used to from our childhood.
@Kirxlol
Can't believe I was singing that as a kid and nobody stopped me
@funnybonesbuck1745
Back when I was a kid the dirty songs I was singing but didn't realize were dirty were warrants "cherry pie" and poison's "unskinny bop"
@lutherblister1914
late 90s. other history. miss'em
@user-gj1sd7ws2f
Русские живы
@jorginhoforballondor959
I'm 13 and still singing it
@jrivera018
I was watching a wow video as a kid listening to this song. Anyone seen the same?
@wentzstem
I can't believe no one stopped me from singing this as a kid
edit: 1 year later and my inbox is still flooded, thnks fr th lks nd rpls!
@Patrickf5087
Because its all innuendo if a kid hears it they don't understand the sexual nature of it.
For me this came out around puberty lol
@yaadflexja2448
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@f.n.motohawk9123
Lol same