The Way of the Will
Bloodlet Lyrics


Have you found something worth fighting for
A little piece of truth we've been dying for
On a cold night alone he's lost his way
I think it is time we end this day
Eyes raised high above the people
Made of songs and broken wings
A pair of dice passing judgment
Lucky elijah's 4 3
The eyes hold everything tied together on a ring of smoke
Distorted princess cries my name leaning on a leg of hope
Take me home and feel my pain I didn't do a thing to change
Forgive me my friend I forget your name
I let go of forever
I can't grab today
Lonely one shot his gun and caught one in the head

Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Bill Smith

@Anne-droid "Bring out your dead!"

"Here's one."

"I'm not dead yet!"

"You will be soon."

"I feel happy!"

"You're not fooling anyone you know."

LOL! Funny stuff.



cdgr0820

TRANSCRIPT
Announcer: In the Middle Ages, medicine was still in its infancy. The art of healing was conducted not by physicians, but by barbers. The medieval barbers were the forerunners of today's men of medicine, and many of the techniques they developed are still practiced today. This is the story of one such barber.
William: Hello, Theodoric of York. Well, it's springtime, and I'm here for my annual haircut and bloodletting.
Theodoric of York: Well, welcome, Son of Miller, William. Well, time to see you now. Have a seat. Broom Gilda, you start on his hair, and I'll open up one of his veins.
Broom Gilda: Yes, Theodoric.
Theodoric of York: How's that little baby I delivered last Christmas when your wife died?
William: Oh, the little fellow is deformed.
Theodoric of York: Oh, that's right. I remember now. This may hurt. [cuts William's vein, as his blood spills into a bowl]
William: Ahhh..
Announcer: And now, it's time for another episode of "Theodoric of York: Medieval Barber".
Theodoric of York: There you go. Looks like I have another patient. I'll be back in a minute to see how you're doing.
William: Right. Thank you. Just a trim, Broom Gilda.
[Theodoric approaches Joan, who stands next to her daughter]
Joan: Hello, Theodoric, Barber of York.
Theodoric of York: Hello, Joan, Wife of Simkin the Miller. Well, how's my little patient doing?
Joan: Not so well, I fear. We followed all your instructions - I mixed powder of stag horn, gum of arabic with boiled sheep's urine, and applied it in a poultice to her face.
Theodoric of York: And did you bury her up to her neck in the marsh and leave her overnight?
Joan: Oh, yes. But she still feels as listless as ever, if not more.
Theodoric of York: Well, let's give her another bloodletting. Broom Gilda.
Broom Gilda: Yes, Theodoric.
Theodoric of York: Take two pints.
Broom Gilda: Yes, Theodoric.
Joan: Will she be alright, barber?
Theodoric of York: Well, I'll do everything humanly possible. But unfortunately, we barbers are not gods. You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning all the time. Why, just fifty years ago, we would have thought your daughter’s illness was brought on by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach.
Joan: Well, I'm glad to see she's in such good hands.
Hunchback: [pulls Drunkard forward in a cart] Is this Theodoric, Barber of York?
Theodoric of York: Say, don't I know you?
Hunchback: Yeah, you worked on my back.
Theodoric of York: What seems to be the matter with your friend here?
Hunchback: He broke his legs.
Drunkard: I was at the festival of the vernal equinox, and I guess I had had a little bit too much mead.. and I darted out in front of an oxcart. It all happened so fast. The poor little fellows couldn't stop in time.
Theodoric of York: Well, you'll feel a lot better after a good bleeding.
Drunkard: But I'm bleeding already!
Theodoric of York: Say, who’s the barber here?
Drunkard: Okay, okay, just do something for my legs, could you please?
Theodoric of York: We’ll get him up on the gibbet over here. [ turns Drunkard upside-down, then spreads his legs apart ] Okay, now this might hurt a little bit, naturally. 
Drunkard: I think it is. I think it’s hurting.
Theodoric of York: A little pain never hurt anyone. What we're doing is separating your bones a little bit, and if you don't feel better tomorrow, we'll just cut them off here.
Drunkard: Okay. I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling better tomorrow!
Theodoric of York: This will teach you to go easy on the mead. Broom Gilda, put a few leeches on his forehead.
[Broom Gilda complies]
Drunkard: Thank you for being so kind.
Theodoric of York: [to William] How are we doing? 
William: I feel faint, but...
Theodoric of York: When was the last time you came in for a worming?
William: I guess I'm due, but I don't have time today. Please accept my payment--this fine, fat goose. [hands over goose]
Theodoric of York: Oh, well, thank you. Broom Gilda will give you your change. [returns to Joan] 
William: Thank you, Theodoric.
Theodoric of York: Well, how's the little patient doing?
Joan: She's worse. She's looking pale.
Theodoric of York: Well, if she's not responding to treatment, we'll have to run some more tests. Broom Gilda, bring the Caladrius Bird.
Joan: Caladrius Bird?
Theodoric of York: Yes. The Caladrius Bird is a test. We put it next to the patient, and if it looks at the patient's face, then she will die; but if it looks at her feet, then the patient will live. So, a little test. [unleashes bird from cage, but it just flies off] Can you interpret these signs? 
Broom Gilda: No.
Theodoric of York: Seems to be looking up and down there. Well… I’m not sure how to read that. Just take two pints from her. Take two pints from that bird, too.
Broom Gilda: [feels patient] She's dead.
Joan: Dead! I can't believe my little girl is dead!
Theodoric of York: Now, Mrs. Miller, you're distraught, you’re tired.. you may be suffering from nervous exhaustion. Maybe we’ll just take some of your blood, too.
Joan: You’re a charlatan! You killed my children, just like you killed the rest of my family! Why don't you admit it! You don't know what you're doing!
Theodoric of York: [steps toward the camera] Wait a minute. Perhaps she's right. Perhaps I've been wrong to blindly follow the medical traditions and superstitions of the past centuries. Maybe we barbers should test those assumptions analytically, through experimentation and a "scientific method." Perhaps this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! [thinks for a minute] Naaaaaahhh!
Announcer: Tune in next week for another episode of "Theodoric of York: Medieval Barber," when you'll hear Theodoric say:
Theodoric of York: Well, I think a little more bloodletting and some boar's vomit, and he'll be just fine!



All comments from YouTube:

Anthony Coates

I was lucky enough to be sitting right up front in the audience that night!

Don Quarnstrom

i was lucky enough to be wearing steve martin's skin that night.

Neal Bradleigh

@My Music I can relate to the bar-crawling and viewing SNL (stateside in my alter ego, the "Camaro Kid")!

Neal Bradleigh

That's worth bragging about, in anyone's conversation! Sooooo many Monday morning "catchphrases" that crept into our language we got from SNL!

Paul Polito

BS!!

Ampersand100

Where did the bird fly off to?

6 More Replies...

Shawn McClearn

I remember taking two semesters of Medieval history in college. I had mentioned this sketch to my professional and he said he was really impressed with its accuracy. He told me that he later found out that was due to the SNL writers consulting with a Harvard professor to get the details right.

badad0166

Smart funny is the best funny.

Samantha B

The National Lampoon writers.

Joe Ski

"You worked on my back," is the best line in this sketch and Belushi delivers it perfectly.

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