Hate Me
Blue October Lyrics

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
I need to stop thinking about you so I don't go crazy

They're crawling like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Thoughts of you are persistently bothering me like cockroaches that keep reproducing in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Memories keep playing in my mind, reminding me that I am all alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
My thoughts of you are so vivid that they feel more real than any pornographic movie, and they make me feel trapped

There's a burning in my pride
My pride is hurt and it feels painful

A nervous bleeding in my brain
I am anxious and my thoughts are overwhelming me

An ounce of peace is all I want for you
I wish for you to have some peace in your life

Will you never call again?
Are you never going to call me again?

And will you never say that you love me, just to put it in my face?
Are you going to stay away and never lie again by saying you love me while also hurting me?

And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space
If I wanted space and stayed away, are you not going to try and reach me?

Hate me today
You can hate me today

Hate me tomorrow
You can hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
You can hate me for all the things I should have done for you but didn't

Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
You can hate me in ways that might be difficult to digest

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
You can hate me so that you can understand what is best for you

I'm sober now for three whole months
I haven't had alcohol for three months

It's one accomplishment that you helped me with
You have helped me achieve this accomplishment

The one thing that always tore us apart
The one thing that always separated us

Is the one thing I won't touch again
I won't do that thing that tore us apart again

In a sick way I want to thank you
In a twisted manner, I want to show gratitude towards you

For holding my head up late at night
For being there for me when I was struggling in the middle of the night

While I was busy waging wars on myself
When I was battling with my own problems

You were trying to stop the fight
You were trying to help me overcome my struggles

You never doubted my warped opinions
You never questioned my strange beliefs

On things like suicidal hate
The belief that suicide can be an acceptable way to express hate

You made me compliment myself
You made me feel good about myself

When it was way too hard to take
At a time when it was very difficult to do so

So I'll drive so fucking far away, that I never cross your mind
I will distance myself so much that you won't even think about me ever again

And do whatever it takes in your heart, to leave me behind
Do whatever you need to do, in order to forget about me

And with a sad heart, I say bye to you and wave
Sadly, I say goodbye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
I am punishing and blaming myself for every mistake I have made

And like a baby boy I never was a man until I saw your blue eyes crying
I finally became a man when I saw you cry

And I held your face in my hand
I held your face in my hand

And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away!"
I fell down shouting, "Make it all go away!"

Just make a smile come back, and shine just like it used to be
Make a smile return to your face, shining just like before

And she whispered, "How can you do this to me?"
And she whispered, "How could you do this to me?"