Blue October is an alternative rock band headquartered in San Marcos, Texas… Read Full Bio ↴Blue October is an alternative rock band headquartered in San Marcos, Texas, but is originally from Houston, Texas. The band was formed in 1995 when two former high school friends Justin Furstenfeld (lead vocals) and Ryan Delahoussaye (violin/viola, mandolin, keyboards, and vocals), set out to create an alternative rock band that has since gone on to have twelve Top 40 singles across nine studio albums and six albums reaching the Top 40 charts.

Current members of Blue October include Justin Furstenfeld (lead vocals), Ryan Delahoussaye (violin/viola, mandolin, keyboards, and vocals), Jeremy Furstenfeld (drums, percussion), Matt Noveskey (bass guitar) and Will Knaak (guitar).

Popularized by their platinum-certified album Foiled (2006), which features the hit singles “Hate Me” and “Into the Ocean,” the group has continued to evolve… shifting from a far more pensive sound to one that is more optimistic and reflective of lead singer/songwriter/guitarist Justin Furstenfeld’s transformation—which will also be the focus of his soon-to-be-released documentary film, I Want It.

Once known for their stormy dynamic and self-destructive tendencies, Blue October couldn’t be more distinct from the band it once was, which is why their latest studio album, I Hope You’re Happy, looks to push the envelope even further with a whole new approach. Justin Furstenfeld is quoted as saying "I think Blue October should never be limited to the instruments we have in the band. I’m always about bringing in whoever can play what’s best for the song in. I’m also a huge fan of Peter Gabriel, and if you were to him all you can have is a guitarist a bassist and a drummer, he’d go “what?!” That’s how I feel. We took all the tools we had gotten from working all these kinds of people over the twenty-year span and made a really good album and we’re super proud of it. It’s nice and colorful and positive and universally themed. It’s something you can really sink your teeth into and not get sick of. You can always discover little new secrets about it along the way."

Their latest album, I Hope You're Happy, was released on August 17, 2018 on the band's own Up/Down Records label and was produced by Justin Furstenfeld and engineer Eric Holtz.

Previous band members have included Liz Mulally, Brant Coulter, Dwayne Casey, Piper Dagnino, Julian Mandrake, CB Hudson and Matthew Ostrander.

Blue October has an official site www.blueoctober.com/.

For the British band, please see Blue October UK

Retarded Disfigured Clown
Blue October Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

(Spoken Word)
Learning to love life by living through loss andmistakes,
Lessons Learned then gradually surfacing/
Letting go,
Stripping naked to scream/
I am not perfect, nor do I strive to be/
I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns/
I'm a retarded dis figured clown, dying to be heard for the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall/

I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will/
Sneaking into the the lives of strangers and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm/
Just to feel better.

Overall Meaning

iven the spoken word format of the lyrics, it is likely that this song is meant to be deeply personal and introspective. The singer starts by acknowledging that they have learned to love life through their struggles - implying that they didn't always feel that way. They then talk about the process of letting go, stripping away their defenses and just being raw and vulnerable. The "retarded disfigured clown" line is likely a metaphor for feeling out of place or misunderstood in the world, but still desperately wanting to be heard and understood. The singer seems to feel a sense of isolation and alienation, but also a strong desire to connect with others and find some kind of release or catharsis through their art.

Overall, the song seems to be a meditation on the ups and downs of life and the importance of embracing both the light and the dark. The singer is not trying to pretend that they have everything figured out or that they are perfect - they are just trying to navigate the complexities of their own existence and find meaning and connection in their struggles.

Line by Line Meaning

Learning to love life by living through loss and mistakes,
Through experiencing loss and making mistakes, I am gradually learning to appreciate and love life.

Lessons learned then gradually surfacing/
I am taking the lessons I have learned and applying them to my life, slowly rising to the surface.

Letting go,
I am releasing the things that hold me back and learning to move on.

Stripping naked to scream/
I am stripping down all my defenses to express myself and be heard.

I am not perfect, nor do I strive to be/
I do not aim for perfection; I am embracing my flaws and imperfections.

I am alive in this world of face first falls and public breakdowns/
I am living in a world where failures and public struggles happen often.

I'm a retarded disfigured clown, dying to be heard for the simple art of letting this heavy wall finally fall/
I feel like an outsider, but I am desperate to be understood and accepted, and to let go of my emotional baggage.

I'm an equal being of no race, or color, a hallucination if you will/
I see myself as neither better nor worse than anyone else, and sometimes I feel like I am not real.

Sneaking into the the lives of strangers and letting them fall apart to a new rhythm/
I sometimes feel like a stranger influencing other people's lives to change in an unexpected but necessary way.

Just to feel better.
Ultimately, I am doing all of this in order to find peace and happiness.

Lyrics © BMG Rights Management
Written by: JUSTIN ERIC FURSTENFELD

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

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