Words
Bo Burnham Lyrics

I'm a feminine Eminem, a slim shady lady
I am a male who raps like Eminem, but with a feminine touch.

But nice cause I texted Haiti
I show compassion for others by texting Haiti after the earthquake happened.

90 lady cops on the road and I'm arrested for doing 80.
I am being pulled over by many female police officers for driving above the speed limit.

Like hamlet, all about 'words, words, words'
I am similar to Hamlet in that I value the power of language and rhetoric.

Divide a whole into thirds, thirds, thirds.
I can split things into equal thirds.

I'm a gay sea otter. I blow other dudes out of the water.
I am a gay male who excels at sexual activities.

I'm the man muffin, divin', muffin, Cold and fly like an arctic puffin, Puffin whacky tobaccy
I am a cool and confident person who enjoys smoking weed.

Hatin other rappers like I'm Helga Pataki
I hate other rappers just as much as Helga Pataki hated Arnold on the TV show Hey Arnold!

And I've been rockin this mic before electricity, Way back in 1000 BCE - that's before the common era.
I have been rapping for a long time, even before electricity was invented.

I can't be stopped, flow so sick that it should be mopped up, Chick's got a dixie cup, I gotta dick full of helium, I'll fuck you up.
My rapping is so good that it cannot be stopped or contained. I am also confident in my sexual prowess.

A boy, a girl, a middle aged bitch, botox in the third person.
I am capable of speaking from the perspective of different genders and ages, even using botox in the third person.

I give the perspective a switch and bo talks in the third person. Just relax, if you wanna know me, here's two facts
I switch perspectives and speak about myself in the third person for creative effect. To know more about me, here are two facts.

I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite. Hungry hungry hypocrite. I hate catchy choruses and I'm a hypocrite.
I don't like when songs have a catchy chorus, but I am also aware that I am a hypocrite because my songs have catchy choruses.

Met a girl named Macy had sex with her all day, But she was dyslexic, so I ended up doin the YMCA
I had sex with a woman named Macy for a long time, but her dyslexia caused us to accidentally do the YMCA dance.

We ballin', Asian, Wii bowlin', prostate cancer semi-colon, Find that hole like I'm Stephen Hawking, Atticus Finch, killing, mocking.
I am living a luxurious life and playing video games, but also bringing awareness to important issues like prostate cancer. I have the intelligence to find hidden things like Stephen Hawking would, and I reference the book To Kill a Mockingbird.

Cry like a child would, you raped my childhood, Just stroll in, roll in your pole into Rolie Polie Olie's colon.
I am upset about something that happened to me in the past, and make a crude sexual joke to cope with the pain.

To relax my mind I take a walk by the clock and I pass the time and Rhymin', mathematic timin', syntax impacts the intact hymen.
I enjoy walking by a clock and rapping, while also being clever with my wordplay and grammar.

I'm an internet provider, came from the web like a horny spider, Fucked a girl in an apple orchard, then came in cider (inside her)
I am like an internet provider that came out of nowhere, and I have also had sex in creative locations like an apple orchard.

I thought AIDS was a butt virus like conjunction junction conjunctivitis
I have made a mistake in understanding what AIDS is, and I make a joke about it similar to the children's song Conjunction Junction.

I spit gold bars cause I was molested by my uncle Midas
I have become successful in my rapping career because I was sexually abused as a child.

Gay dads blow pops, another sucker, Oedipus was the first motherfucker.
I make a crude joke about gay dads and their sexual activities. I also reference Oedipus, a character who unknowingly had sexual relations with his mother.

We the people of the USA, Jose, we're not talkin to you, esse.
I am addressing the people of the United States, but making a joke that excludes anyone with a Hispanic name.

We got a border in order to keep you out, It's what my NYU essay's about
I am referencing a border that is meant to keep certain people out, which is the topic of my essay for NYU.

Cause we're, xenophobic warrior princess, Molested by my uncle sam, is that incest?
We are a society that fears foreigners, but also holds our country in high regard despite past wrongs like the abuse of power by the government.

"I want you" to smell my finger, Does my nephew's scent still linger?
I make a crude joke about incest by asking someone to smell my finger and questioning whether the scent of my nephew is still on it.

South of queers, north of hell, The queer ones suck and the brown one's smell
I am making derogatory statements about two different groups of people based on their sexual preference and ethnicity.

We guard the border and we guard it well, But some slip through the cracks of the liberty bell
We take our border security seriously, but we are not perfect and some people still manage to get through.

Did I say liberty? I meant taco, paco, hey you better let that rock go
I make a joke by accidentally saying the wrong word, but then insisting that people let it go and move on.

Cause in real life goliath wins, And then sells all the silk that the widow spins.
In reality, the strong usually win and take advantage of the weak.

Bitches and hoes, bo's hoes, oh, bitches and hoes, bitches, hoes.
I use derogatory slang terms for women, but with a playful tone to make a point.

Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know bo's a feminist, Bitches and hoes don't exist because the hoes know bo's a feminist
I am a feminist and do not want to use derogatory terms for women. Even the people who are referred to with those terms know this.

So take off your bras and burn em or you can let me burn em Take off your bras and burn em, or you can let bo burnham burn em
I make a statement about the feminist movement by asking people to burn their bras, but with a twist where they can choose whether to do it themselves or let me do it.