Not Cause I Wanted To
Bonnie Raitt Lyrics


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Well I'm calling you
'Cause you deserve to know
You are not the reason that I had to go,
Late at night in these hotel rooms
I think of all I've lost,
What I've put you through

And if I knew the reason
I would tell you why somehow
The feeling slipped away
I only did what I had to do
Not 'cause I wanted to

I've got a guilty heart
And a troubled mind
No matter where I go
You're never far behind
I'd like to think
That you've forgiven me
But forgiveness ain't enough
To wash my conscience clean

Oh and if I knew the reason
I would tell you why somehow
The feeling slipped away
I only did what I had to do
Not 'cause I wanted to





I only did what I had to do
Not 'cause I wanted to

Overall Meaning

Bonnie Raitt's song "Not Cause I Wanted To" is a heartfelt ballad that explores the pain and regret of leaving someone you love. In the song, the singer is calling her former partner to explain why she left, and to reassure him that he is not the reason for her departure. She describes the loneliness and guilt she feels as she sits alone in hotel rooms, haunted by the memories of what she has lost.


Despite her lingering feelings for her partner, the singer insists that she did what she had to do, even though it wasn't what she wanted. She acknowledges her "guilty heart and troubled mind," and admits that forgiveness is not enough to ease her conscience. Through her powerful vocals and emotional lyrics, Raitt captures the complexity of a relationship that has ended, but the love remains.


The song touches on themes that are universal, such as the pain and regret of leaving a loved one and the struggle to reconcile past actions with present-day emotions. It is a beautiful ode to the power of love and the importance of following one's heart, even when the path is difficult.


Line by Line Meaning

Well I'm calling you
I'm reaching out to you because I think you need to know something


'Cause you deserve to know
You have a right to know what's been going on with me


You are not the reason that I had to go,
I want to clear the air and let you know that it wasn't your fault that I left


Late at night in these hotel rooms
I'm constantly reminded of my mistakes and can't escape from them


I think of all I've lost,
I regret the decisions I've made and the things I've ended up losing because of them


What I've put you through
I acknowledge the pain that I've caused you with my actions


And if I knew the reason
I wish I had a clear explanation for why things turned out the way they did


I would tell you why somehow
I would try my best to explain the situation to you


The feeling slipped away
I lost my love and passion for what we had


I only did what I had to do
I had to make some difficult choices that I didn't necessarily want to make


Not 'cause I wanted to
I didn't make those choices out of a desire or preference, but out of necessity


I've got a guilty heart
I feel remorseful for my actions and the pain I've caused


And a troubled mind
I'm grappling with my own thoughts and emotions


No matter where I go
I can't escape from the memory of what I've done


You're never far behind
Your presence is always on my mind


I'd like to think
I wish it were true


That you've forgiven me
I hope that you've found it in your heart to let go of any ill will towards me


But forgiveness ain't enough
Even with your forgiveness, I can't undo what I've done


To wash my conscience clean
I can't cleanse myself of the guilt and shame I feel


I only did what I had to do
I keep reminding myself that I didn't have a choice


Not 'cause I wanted to
I didn't want to hurt you or myself, but I felt like I had no other option




Lyrics © Hipgnosis Songs Group
Written by: AL ANDERSON, BONNIE BISHOP

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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