Holiday
Brad Lyrics

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos
The theater is presenting the special holiday edition of the Kung Pao Buckaroos

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday Whatever you do watch what you say If you're easily offended well that's okay It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
The Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday is completely politically correct and non-offensive. People should be careful about what they say, but if they are offended, that's okay.

We catch up with our three cowboys one cold December night huddled around the camp fire.
Three cowboys are huddled around a campfire on a cold December night.

How 'bout we sing some holiday songs? Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off? Yeah, I got one. Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched?
The group wants to sing holiday songs and George leads the group with Chri-biip-mas tree.

Why am I getting blipped again? Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday I can't say Chri-biip-mas? No you might offend somebody. Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas? You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists. What? Time to politically correct.
The group is told they can't say Chri-biip-mas and must say Holiday, to avoid offending people of various backgrounds.

I'll lead this off. On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me? Jimmy, are you listening? What? You can't say Chri-biip-mas. Why not? You can say biiiip on the last record. Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas? I didn't make the rules. Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult, all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday. You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday. Why did I get blipped? You've got to say Caucasian. So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday? Sure, that won't offend anybody.
The group discusses the need to use politically correct terms for holidays and the replacement of certain words with other, less controversial ones.

Why do these people have to feel that way? How come they get offended so easily?
The group questions why some people get offended so easily.

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now. What? Oh, come on just try. We three kings of Asia are That sounds like horse biiiip Oh lord, okay.
The group attempts to sing We Three Kings, but are told to say Asia instead of the b-word which sounds like horse biiiip.

Hey how 'bout we do Silent Night? No, it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark. What did he say about a shark? Shark?
The group considers singing Silent Night, but decides not to because it may offend people who are hard of hearing or afraid of the dark.

Hohoho! No. I can't say ho? No you might offend some women. So basically we can't sing anything?
The group attempts to sing Hohoho, but is told that it may offend women.

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip. Softer George it's more effective. I think that a bunch of bull biiiip. You now what? I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols. Louder man it's more effective. I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols. Me too.
One member of the group protests the censorship of their holiday songs and decides to sing Chri-biip-mas carols anyway, with others joining in.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year. We can't say new, it'll offend the old folks. And you never wanna offend them.
The group sings We Wish You a Merry Chri-biip-mas, but is told they can't say 'new' as it may offend older people.