Kung Pao
Brad Paisley Lyrics


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And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.

How ‘bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.

Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched

Why am I getting blipped again?
Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday
I can't say Chri-biip-mas?
No you might offend somebody.
Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas?
You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.

I'll lead this off.

On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me.

Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
You can't say Chri-biip-mas.
Why not?
You can say biiiip on the last record.
Why can't I say Chri-biip-mas?
I didn't make the rules.
Hey listen guys, it's not that difficult,
all you gotta do is change Chri-biip-mas to Holiday.
You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say
I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday.
Why did I get blipped?
You've got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that won't offend anybody.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday,
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay.

Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?

It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday

I'm just trying to come up with a song here.
Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
I'm ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!

We three kings of biiiiiiiiip are bearing gifts we've traveled real far.

Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.

We three kings of Asia are.

That sounds like horse biiiip
Oh lord, okay. How ‘bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you can't say drummer ‘cause that will offend real musicians.

How ‘bout little –hahaha- town of meddle hell.
What's this with all the short jokes?

Hey how ‘bout we do Silent Night?
No, it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?

This happens every year.

Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
Whatever you do watch what you say
If you're easily offended well that's okay
It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.

Hohoho!
No.
I can't say ho?
No, you might offend some women.
So basically we can't sing anything?

I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
Softer George it's more effective.
I think that a bunch of bull biiiip.
You now what? I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Louder man it's more effective.
I don't care who we offend,
I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols.
Me too.

We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas,
we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year.





We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks.
And you never wanna offend them...

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to Brad Paisley's song Kung Pao highlights the issue of political correctness and how it affects the holiday season. The song starts with a humorous announcement from the grand old opera theatre, presenting a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos. The song continues with three cowboys sitting around a campfire, eager to sing holiday songs. However, as they try to sing Christmas carols, they keep getting censored to avoid offending anyone. They are afraid of offending atheists, minorities, short people, and women, among other groups. The irony in this song is that the attempt to be politically correct ends up censoring almost everything the cowboys say, making it impossible to sing anything.


The song's overall message is that political correctness goes too far, and it limits people's freedom of expression. The cowboys find themselves in a position where they cannot sing songs that they have sung every year. They have never had to think about offending anyone before, but now they must censor themselves. The song stresses the importance of inclusion and tolerance, but it also highlights the absurdity of political correctness.


In conclusion, Brad Paisley's song Kung Pao is a humorous satire that highlights the ridiculous nature of political correctness. The song highlights the pressure to censor oneself to avoid offending anyone. The cowboys in the song show a desire to express themselves freely and to sing their favorite tunes without any fear of backlash.


Line by Line Meaning

And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos.
Introducing the Kung Pao Buckaroos' holiday show, brought to you by the grand old opera theater.


Well, it's a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday Whatever you do watch what you say If you're easily offended well that's okay It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday.
The Kung Pao Buckaroos are celebrating a holiday, but everyone needs to be very careful about what they say so as to not offend anyone. The holiday is designed to be completely unoffensive and politically correct.


We catch up with our three cowboys one cold December night huddled around the camp fire.
The story takes place on a cold December night, where three cowboys are gathered around a campfire.


How ‘bout we sing some holiday songs? Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off? Yeah, I got one.
The cowboys decide to sing some holiday songs, and George volunteers to lead them.


Oh Chri-biip-mas tree oh Chri-biip-mas tree how lovely are thou branched Why am I getting blipped again?
The first song they attempt to sing is 'Oh Christmas Tree,' but they keep getting bleeped when they say the word 'Christmas.'


Haven't you heard guys? You can't say Chri-biip-mas you gotta say Holiday I can't say Chri-biip-mas? No you might offend somebody. Who is offended by Chri-biip-mas? You know you might offend the biiiip and the biiiip and the atheists. What? Time to politically correct.
They learn that they can't say 'Christmas' and are instructed to say 'holiday' instead. They are warned that the word 'Christmas' might offend certain groups of people, such as those who don't believe in it, and that they need to be politically correct.


On the first day of Chri-biip-mas my true love said to me. Jimmy, are you listening? What? You can't say Chri-biip-mas. Why not?
They continue trying to sing 'Christmas' songs, but are reminded again that they can't say 'Christmas' and have to use a bleeped word instead. Jimmy is confused as to why they can't say it.


You know, instead of saying white Chri-biip-mas, you say I'm dreaming of a whi-biiip Holiday. Why did I get blipped? You've got to say Caucasian. So I have to sing, I'm dreaming of a Caucasian holiday? Sure, that won't offend anybody.
They are given suggestions for alternative lyrics to the song 'White Christmas,' which they have to change to 'Caucasian Holiday.' They are constantly being reminded to be politically correct so as to not offend anyone.


Why do these people have to feel that way? How come they get offended so easily? It's a completely non-offensive and politically correct holiday
One of the cowboys gets frustrated with the need to be politically correct and wonders why people get offended so easily. However, they are reminded again that the holiday is designed to be completely inoffensive.


I'm just trying to come up with a song here. Let's sing one together, everybody ready? George? Ready. Bill your ready? I'm ready. Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy? Okay!
Despite the need to be politically correct, they continue to try to come up with a song to sing together.


Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now. What? Oh, come on just try. We three kings of Asia are. That sounds like horse biiiip Oh lord, okay.
They try to sing 'We Three Kings,' but have to change the lyrics to 'We Three Kings of Asia.' They are all frustrated with the need to constantly censor themselves and worry about offending someone.


Hey how ‘bout we do Silent Night? No, it'll offend people who's hard to hear and afraid of the dark What did he say about a shark? SHARK?
They suggest singing 'Silent Night,' but are told that it might offend people who are hard of hearing or afraid of the dark. This confuses one of the cowboys, who thinks he hears the word 'shark.'


Hohoho! No. I can't say ho? No, you might offend some women. So basically we can't sing anything?
When one of the cowboys tries to say 'ho ho ho,' he is reminded that it might offend women because of its association with 'ho's' and prostitution. They all give up on trying to sing any holiday songs at this point.


I think that a bunch of bull biiiip. Softer George it's more effective. I think that a bunch of bull biiiip. You now what? I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols. Louder man it's more effective. I don't care who we offend, I'm gonna sing Chri-biip-mas carols if I wanna sing Chri-biip-mas carols. Me too.
One of the cowboys gets fed up with the constant need to be politically correct and starts to speak out against it. He wants to sing 'Christmas' carols and is willing to offend anyone who is offended by it. The others join in and support him, deciding to sing 'Christmas' carols after all.


We wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, we wish you a merry Chri-biip-mas, and a happy ne-biip year. We can't say new; it'll offend the old folks. And you never wanna offend them...
They finally sing a Christmas carol, but have to censor the word 'Christmas' and 'new' to avoid offending anyone. They joke that they don't want to offend the old folks, either.




Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Written by: BRAD PAISLEY, FRANK ROGERS

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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