Flight of the Conchords
Bret you've got it going on Lyrics

Hey there Bret, I see you looking down.
I noticed you seem upset, Bret.

Don't want to see my little buddy there with a frown.
I don't like to see you sad, my friend.

Just because I get more women than you, well that's only because they don't know you like I do.
I attract more women than you do, Bret, but it's only because they haven't gotten to know you as well as I have.

Sure, you're weedy and kind of shy.
I know you're not very muscular and can be introverted at times, Bret.

But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy.
There must be a woman out there who finds those qualities attractive, Bret.

They want you as the needle when they're rolling in the hay.
Some women want you to be the thin, pointy object used during sexual activity, Bret.

Just hear me out when I say...
Let me explain further, Bret.

Bret, you got it going on.
Bret, you're attractive and desirable.

The ladies will get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.
Women will find you sexually appealing once they get to know you better as a person, Bret.

I said, Bret, you got it going on.
I really mean it, Bret. You're a catch.

Not in a gay way, just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."
I'm not saying this in a homosexual way, Bret. Just trying to compliment you, mate.

Why can't a heterosexual guy, Tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly.
Why is it not okay for a straight guy to tell another straight guy that he finds his butt attractive, Bret?

Not all the time, obviously, just when he's got a problem with his self esteem.
Not constantly, of course. Only when he's feeling insecure, Bret.

Don't let anybody tell you you're not humpable.
Don't listen to anyone who says you're not worthy of having sex with, Bret.

Because you're bumpable.
You're definitely capable of having sex, Bret.

Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable.
I don't want to make you feel awkward, Bret.

If I say you've got a boom ow-ow.
If I tell you that you have an impressive physique, Bret.

Come on Bret, help me out now.
Agree with me, Bret. You know it's true.

That's the conclusion that I've come to.
That's my final verdict, Bret.

But that doesn't mean that I want to bum you.
I don't want to have sex with you, Bret. I just find you attractive.

No doubt about it, we'd be gettin crazy.
If one of us was born female, we'd definitely be engaging in wild sexual activity, Bret.

If one of us was a lady, and I was your man, if I was your man.
If I were a woman and we were romantically involved, Bret.

Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.
Sometimes I feel lonely and need female companionship, Bret.

And then I imagine you with some bosoms.
I imagine you with breasts, Bret.

In fact, one time when we were touring and I was really lonely.
In fact, there was one instance while we were on tour and I felt particularly lonely, Bret.

And we were sharing that twin room in the hotel.
We were staying in a hotel room with twin beds together, Bret.

I put a wig on you, when you were sleeping, I put a wig on you.
I placed a wig on your head while you were sleeping, Bret.

Oh, ohhh, oooooh, oh, and I just laid there and spooned you.
And I just lay there spooning you while making those sounds, Bret.

Bret, you got it going on.
Overall, Bret, you're very desirable and sexually attractive.