Lover
Bright Eyes Lyrics


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I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
So it's up the stairs
And out of view, no prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name, you asked the time

Now it's two o'clock
The club is closed and we are up the block
Your hands are on me
Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet him here
But I'm not sure
I've got the money
If you've got the time
You said, "It feels good"
I said "I'll give it a try"

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers, they just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep, keep singing

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
And where's the kid with the chemicals?
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

But you, but you

You write such pretty words
But life's no storybook
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do
Then hurt me




Then hurt me
Then hurt me

Overall Meaning

The song “Lover I Don’t Have to Love” by Bright Eyes is a dark and raw depiction of a one-night stand. The singer picks someone out of a crowd and takes them back to a private place where they engage in sex, alcohol and illegal drug use, and even non-consensual physical aggression. The song expresses a longing for a physical relationship without any demands for emotional attachment, making it a song that is both heartbreaking and confronting.


The song deals with complex themes of emotional detachment, self-destructive behavior, and the search for meaning in life. The lines “I want a lover I don’t have to love,” and “I want a girl who’s too sad to give a fuck” express a desire for superficial and fleeting physical pleasure, without the complications of emotions and attachments that come with love. However, these desires are fleeting and don’t provide lasting satisfaction.


The song also deals with escapism and a longing for meaning amidst a hedonistic lifestyle. The lines “I got a hunger and I can’t seem to get full, I need some meaning I can memorize” speak to the singer’s desperation for something deeper, something more permanent than physical pleasure.


Overall, “Lover I Don’t Have to Love” is a poignant and haunting look at the darker side of human relationships, the search for meaning, and the fleeting nature of superficial pleasure.


Line by Line Meaning

I picked you out
I spotted you in the crowd


Of a crowd and talked to you
And approached you to have a conversation


Said I liked your shoes
Complimented your footwear


You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
You expressed interest in joining me


So it's up the stairs
We proceeded to climb the steps


And out of view, no prying eyes
And disappeared from watchful onlookers


I poured some wine
I provided a beverage


I asked your name, you asked the time
We exchanged a few personal details


Now it's two o'clock
It's currently very late


The club is closed and we are up the block
The venue has been shut and we are some distance away


Your hands are on me
You are touching me


Pressing hard against your jeans
Rubbing firmly against your pants


Your tongue in my mouth
We are kissing passionately


Trying to keep the words from coming out
Attempting to suppress conversation


You didn't care to know
You weren't interested in discovering more about me


Who else may have been you before
The identity of your past lovers/sexual partners didn't matter


I want a lover I don't have to love
I desire an uncommitted relationship


I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
I crave a partner who is emotionally unavailable


Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I'm searching for someone who has drugs


I thought he said to meet him here
I believed we had arranged to rendezvous at this location


But I'm not sure
I am uncertain


I've got the money
I have the funds


If you've got the time
If you possess the free time


You said, "It feels good"
You expressed satisfaction


I said "I'll give it a try"
I agreed to participate


Then my mind went dark
I experienced a mental lapse


We both forgot where your car was parked
Neither of us could recall the location of your vehicle


Let's just take the train
Let's utilize public transportation


I'll meet up with the band in the morning
I will catch up with my musical group at a later time


Bad actors with bad habits
People who behave poorly with negative tendencies


Some sad singers, they just play tragic
Depressed vocalists who sing about sorrowful situations


And the phone's ringing
A phone is making an audible noise


And the van's leaving
Our transportation is departing


Let's just keep touching
Let's continue touching each other sensually


Let's just keep, keep singing
Let's continue singing repeatedly


I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
I'm searching for an intoxicated partner who is unlikely to communicate


And where's the kid with the chemicals?
I'm still seeking someone who possesses drugs


I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I'm feeling unsatisfied and unable to satisfy myself


I need some meaning I can memorize
I yearn for a purpose that I can commit to memory


The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
I'm having trouble recalling the meaning I find


But you, but you
But you, specifically, stand out to me


You write such pretty words
You craft beautifully written expressions


But life's no storybook
Life doesn't always have a happy ending


Love's an excuse to get hurt
Loving someone can lead to emotional pain


And to hurt
It can also allow one to inflict harm


Do you like to hurt?
Do you gain pleasure from causing pain?


I do, I do
I, myself, do


Then hurt me
Then cause me pain


Then hurt me
Again, cause me pain


Then hurt me
Once more, inflict harm on me




Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
Written by: Conor Oberst

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

@Bryan_wayne

I'm thirty years old and this song is just as relevant to me as when I was 16.

@13slot28

I'm 31 and I keep comming back to it.

@KristopherWilliams_tahmson

@J.C Meza I'm 33 and singing alone like I did when I was snorting cocaine with my girl who was too sad to give a fuck

@michaell.9431

thirty four.

@pianoface

I just turned 40 and this takes me back to my 20's in a heart beat

@nicolasbaker9601

I agree. Found Conor when I was 16 and am 32 now. Now I relate through different life experiences but his voice still invokes the same emotion

24 More Replies...

@Diskotraxxxxx

"bad actors with bad habits, some sad singers, they just play tragic" favorite line ever.

@dannye7612

He better not be talking about my boy Elliott Smith

@lafabricadebodas

Some people have a natural hability perceive social behaviour.

@sarahrayne4808

@Danny E why do i feel your right

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