I'll Never Tell
Buffy Lyrics

This is the man that I plan to entangle, Isn't he fine?
Anya is excited about her wedding; she admires her husband-to-be

My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle, Vengeance was mine!
While Anya was a revenge demon she was known for violence and destruction.

But I'm out of the biz, The name I made, I'll trade for his, The only trouble is – I'll never tell
Anya is happy to be out of the vengeance demon business, however, she won't reveal her new life's personal details.

She is the one, she's such wonderful fun, Such passion and grace, Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight – Embrace! Tight embrace!
Xander is in love with his fiancé and finds her delightful, passionate, and affectionate.

I'll never let her go, The love we've known can only grow, There's just one thing that — No, I'll never tell
Xander is committed to staying with his lover and believes their love will continue to grow, but he won't divulge what the problem is.

'Cause there's nothing to tell
Anya and Xander acknowledge there is nothing to verbally express. It is all good for them.

He snores
Anya's future husband has a snoring problem.

She wheezes
Anya snidely points out Xander's fiance has a lung problem.

Say 'housework' and he freezes
Anya's future husband has a problem with housework and often avoids it.

She eats these skeazy cheeses that I can't describe
Xander does not like Anya's food options, particularly her cheese selections.

I talk, he breezes, She doesn't know what pleases, His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe!
Anya and Xander seem to have relationship issues with communication, sexual fulfillment, and sexual health.

The vibe gets kind of scary, Like she thinks I'm ordinary, Like it's all just temporary, Like her toes are kind of hairy
Anya and Xander fear they are not right for each other and worry that their relationship is bound to end.

But it's all very well, 'Cause, God knows, I'll never tell!
Anya and Xander have problems in their relationship, but instead of facing them, they avoid them by not discussing them.

When things get rough, he Just hides behind his Buffy! Now look, he's getting huffy, Cause he knows that I know.
Anya feels like her fiancé hides behind his best friend Buffy when faced with problems, and she feels that he gets upset when she points this out.

This is my verse, hello!? She ... Look at me! I'm dancing crazy! You know
Anya interrupts Xander's verse to express her own excitement in a dance.

You're quite the charmer, My knight in armor, You're the cutest of the Scoobies, With your lips as red as rubies, And your firm, yet supple — Tight embrace!
Xander acknowledges his lover's positive qualities, her charming nature, her good looks, her attractive lips, her plump body, and her tight embrace.

He's swell, She's sweller, He'll always be my feller, That's why I'll never tell her That I'm petrified
Anya shares her opinion about Xander: he is a great guy and her feller; however, Xander won't tell her his true feelings about the upcoming wedding.

I've read this tale, There's wedding, then betrayal, I know there'll come the day, I'll want to run and hide, I lied, I said it's easy, I've tried, But there's these fears I can't quell
Anya knows most love stories lead to disappointment. She fears the day will come when she'll hate being married to Xander, which contradicts her previous claims that everything is easy.

Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Xander questions whether his future wife is interested in getting rich.

Will I look good when I've gotten old?
Anya is worried about aging and how she might look in old age.

Will our lives become too stressful, If I'm never that successful?
Xander is concerned about career success since he doesn't want it to negatively affect their lives together.

Will I get so worn and wrinkly, That I look like David Brinkley?
Anya has concerns about aging and how it'll affect her appearance.

Am I crazy? Am I dreamin'? Am I marrying a demon?
Xander expresses his fears of getting married and possibly marrying the wrong person.

We can really raise the beam in making marriage a hell, So thank God I'll never tell! I swear that I'll never tell!
Anya and Xander realize they might ruin their marriage since their problems seem to outweigh their happiness, but instead of dealing with all the issues, they choose to sweep them under the rug by never talking about them.

My lips are sealed, I take the Fifth, Nothing to see, Move it along, I'll never — Tell!
Anya and Xander refuse to talk about their problems and hide them from everyone, even themselves.