In my head
C.N.Blue Lyrics

I've been battling my fears, fighting tears
I have been struggling to overcome my fears and fighting back tears as I try to do so.

Please excuse me if they fall
I apologize if I end up crying.

It took a certain kind of strength
It required a specific type of strength to keep my emotions in check for so long.

To hold 'em back for this long
I have been holding back my emotions for a significant period of time.

It took a certain kind of weakness
On the other hand, it also took a type of weakness to suppress my pain and sadness.

To ignore the pain and sorrow
I have been trying to ignore my feelings of pain and sadness.

Used to think it made me strong
I used to believe that bottling up my emotions made me strong.

To hold it in but I was wrong so
However, I have come to realize that holding in my emotions was not the right thing to do.

Here I am again
I am facing this dilemma once again.

Holding my head in my hands
I am physically holding my head in my hands as I try to work through this.

Telling myself that I ain't special
I am trying to remind myself that I am not fundamentally different or superior to anyone else.

I'm a regular man
I am just an average person.

It makes no difference
It does not matter whether you are religious or secular.

Be religious or a secular man
Your faith or lack thereof does not change the fact that you will question your beliefs at some point.

It's only a matter of time
It is inevitable.

Before your faith's in question again
You will question your faith again at some point in the future.

It took some time to realize
It took me a while to understand.

That there's a method to the madness
There is a reason behind the chaos and confusion in life.

If it happens there's a reason
If something happens, it is because there is a purpose behind it.

Life hits you when you're off balance
Life tends to throw challenges your way when you are already struggling.

And lessons tend to sink in when you're drowning
It is when you are struggling the most that you tend to learn the most important lessons.

When you come back to the surface
Once you have overcome your struggles and survived, you will emerge as a stronger person.

There's more purpose
There is more meaning or significance to your experiences.

In the pounding of your heartbeat
In the moments of intense emotion or struggle, you can find a sense of purpose or meaning in the physical sensations of your body.

Saw my inner child
I have recognized my inner child, or the part of me that is innocent, vulnerable, and emotional.

I think it's time that we depart G
I believe it is time to let go of that part of myself and move on.

Always in the clouds
I have been somewhat disconnected from reality or lost in my own thoughts and emotions.

I started noticing my flaws, see
I have become more self-aware and critical of my own flaws and weaknesses.

I'm trying to come back down 'cause
I am trying to get back to reality and be more grounded.

I've been floating for too long
I have been lost in my own mental or emotional state for too long.

Trying to build a bridge
I am attempting to create a connection or relationship between myself and others or between different parts of myself.

Between the ground and where the stars be
Between reality and my idealized or imagined state of being.

And I've been known to stand alone
I have a tendency to isolate myself or rely on myself too much.

But lately nowhere feels like home
I have been feeling lost or disconnected from the places or people that used to make me feel comfortable or secure.

So I've been leaning on you
I have been relying on others for support recently.

Please don't go too far G
I am asking the person I am relying on to not leave me or abandon me in my time of need.

Just know there's sides of me I've shown
I want the person I am relying on to know that I have revealed certain aspects of myself to them.

That I'm ashamed to call my own
However, there are other aspects of myself that I am embarrassed or ashamed of and have not revealed to them.

But I've been growing
I have been making progress and changing in positive ways.

Kicking omens out my heart, see
I am actively rejecting negative thoughts or omens that might hold me back or cause me to doubt myself.

There's so much pain that I hold onto
I am carrying a lot of emotional pain with me.

Always proving that I'm strong
I have a tendency to try to show others that I am strong and capable, even when I am struggling.

I know I am
I am confident in my abilities and strength.

So why do I hide all my scars G?
Despite my confidence, I still feel the need to hide my emotional wounds and vulnerabilities from others.