Nightmare
CHVSE Lyrics

Cuz I'm living in a nightmare
The singer is currently experiencing a difficult situation that feels like a nightmare

Living in a nightmare
The situation is ongoing and causing constant distress

These walls closing in, I feel it from within
The singer feels trapped and overwhelmed by their situation and emotions

Is there anybody out there
The singer is looking for external support and validation

Oh hi, this is my mind
The singer is addressing their thoughts and emotions as if they are a separate entity

How rude of me wanna come inside
The singer is inviting someone else (perhaps the listener) into their mind to understand their struggles

Sorry for the mess, I don't got the time
The singer acknowledges that their thoughts and emotions are chaotic, but they currently lack the time or energy to address them

We can take it outside I'll be fighting for my mind
The singer has previously tried to fight against their own thoughts and emotions, but now understands that this is counterproductive

Wait, no I won't cuz my therapist described
The singer has been advised by a therapist that fighting against their own thoughts and emotions is not beneficial

If I fight against you, then I fight against me
The singer recognizes that their thoughts and emotions are a part of them and that fighting against them is ultimately detrimental to their own well-being

And I'll never ever win all I do is waste time
The singer understands that trying to fight against their thoughts and emotions is futile and only leads to wasted time and energy

So just go ahead, you could throw a hit
The singer is resigning themselves to the fact that their struggles are a part of them and are allowing them to exist without resistance

You set the bar to high can you lower it
The singer recognizes that they have set unrealistic expectations for themselves and desires to set more realistic goals

I can't reach it and everybody notices that I got a real hard time getting over shit
The singer's struggles are noticeable to others and they are having a difficult time moving past them

Maybe that's true, but maybe that's you
The singer suggests that the person criticizing them is projecting their own insecurities onto the singer

Always taunt me and you tell me what to do
The person criticizing the singer is doing so in a mocking and belittling manner

Telling me to fight or you telling me to run, I don't wanna run away from myself like you
The person criticizing the singer is suggesting that they either fight against their struggles or run away from them, but the singer believes that neither option is helpful or desirable

My anxiety building I'm scared of my shadows they shadow my pain
The singer is experiencing anxiety and their thoughts and emotions are causing them fear and distress

They put happy inside of my pills when I told them I'm sad and insane
The singer has sought medical help for their mental health struggles, but feels that the medication is not addressing their true emotions

But the happy don't work, it feels so unnatural it battles my brain
The medication intended to make the singer happy feels forced and is actually causing more internal conflict

And life ain't the same
The singer's experiences and emotions have changed and are no longer the same as they once were

Whoah what? Is that me in the mirror
The singer is surprised by their own appearance and is experiencing self-doubt

I need to clean this glass so I can see a little clearer
The singer desires greater clarity and understanding of their own self-image

Theres no way that this man staring back is me
The singer feels disconnected from their own reflection and identity

When I get so big? Where'd my hairline go
The singer is experiencing physical changes to their appearance that are causing them distress

You've always looked like this, wait you ain't even know
The person speaking to the singer suggests that their appearance has not changed and that the singer's perception of themselves is distorted

What you think? That every time that someone left you that they left for reasons
The person speaking to the singer challenges their belief that others have left them for specific reasons rather than for no specific reason at all

On their own just picked their bags up and they hit the road
The person speaking to the singer suggests that the people who have left them did so for their own reasons and not necessarily because of anything the singer did wrong

No, I don't mean to be the one to go and burst your bubble
The person speaking to the singer does not intend to hurt their feelings or deflate their ego

But I care enough about you to make sure this hurt is subtle
The person speaking to the singer cares about them and desires to communicate their message compassionately

I'm about to dig so deep that we can't reach it with a shovel
The person speaking to the singer intends to delve very deeply into the singer's psyche and thoughts

Other people see your flaws but you're just peeking through a tunnel
The artist suggests that the singer only sees their own flaws and does not have a clear or complete view of themselves

And I hate to break it to you but your raps ain't the greatest
The person speaking to the singer does not believe that their music is as good as the singer believes it to be

I kinda laugh that you think you're even half way to famous
The person speaking to the singer thinks it's amusing that they believe they are close to becoming famous

Your career? Well, its sitting still like it was stainless
The person speaking to the singer believes that their career is stagnant and not progressing

And your music hurt so many ears you'd think that we were sadists
The person speaking to the singer believes that their music is not well-liked by many people and causes discomfort

But don't worry man I got you, thats what I'm here for
Despite the criticisms, the person speaking to the singer wants to support and help them

To catch you when you fall and bring you down some more
The person speaking to the singer intends to help them, but has a pessimistic view of their ability to succeed

Right Crypt right
The person speaking to the singer mocks their stage name and taunts them

Its the only time you make hits
The person speaking to the singer suggests that their only successful moments are during their performances

I wanna hear that fucking page flip
The person speaking to the singer wants to hear them turn the page in their notebook to suggest that they are writing new material

Right bitch right
The person speaking to the singer continues to taunt and belittle them

Yea I know this shit ain't fair
The singer acknowledges that the criticisms they are receiving are unjust and unfair

You said music was a dream but this dream is a nightmare
The singer's dream of making music has turned into a nightmare due to the criticisms and struggles they are facing

Would you rather be alone or afraid
The singer is questioning what type of emotional state is preferable: being alone or being afraid

Would you rather be disowned or betrayed
The singer is questioning what type of rejection is preferable: being disowned or being betrayed

Would you rather be a rapper that was planted or an independent artist with a road that he paved
The singer is questioning whether it is better to have financial support and success through a record label (being 'planted') or to have the freedom to create independently (having 'a road that he paved')

Thats what I ask myself like, hey CHVSE who would you prefer
The singer is questioning their own desires and motivations

Adam and Eve, the snake on the tree, me, Jesus or Lucifer
The singer is comparing themselves to various Biblical figures and symbols of temptation and morality

Ha gotcha, all the same person
The singer is implying that all of these figures are ultimately human and possess similar emotions and struggles

Got the same thoughts and we share the same purpose
The singer believes that all humans have similar thoughts and emotions and share a similar purpose in life

Earth is nothing but a hell on a surface
The singer has a negative view of life on Earth

Hey doc, medication ain't working
The singer has sought medical help for their mental health struggles, but feels that the medication is not effective

Said I ain't a wordsmith pick apart the verses
The singer's therapist has suggested that they are not skilled at expressing themselves through their music

Fuck a punchline I'm writing therapy in cursive
The singer is prioritizing their own emotional well-being over creating music that is commercially successful

Just so I can work with concerts and agents and fans cuz being in a crowd makes me nervous
The singer desires to perform for and connect with fans, but has social anxiety that makes performing stressful

And thats so ironic I laugh
The singer recognizes the irony of making music that is emotionally vulnerable and connecting with fans, but feeling nervous in large crowds

Cuz thats what you do when you rap
The singer acknowledges that making and performing music is a part of their identity

You write out your feelings on records then tour it to sell it and meet all your fans
The singer uses their music as an outlet for their emotions and desires to connect with their fans in person

Maybe I'm scared of my past, or maybe I'm nervous of you
The singer is uncertain of the root of their anxiety and fears

But either way I hate what I'm turning into
The singer is unhappy with the person they are becoming as a result of their mental health struggles and fears of inadequacy