portrait of the artist as a young fag
Car Seat Headrest Lyrics


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My fingerprints are getting burned off
From using the too hot touchpad
Of my MacBook Pro
As I casually scroll through
The fetish based forum
Of which I am an active member
I promise I will never use the term anthro-fiction
When describing your body of work
I promise I will never stop over using superlative
Words like rad or awesome or neat

Because you always work on the same night
And I need something else to live a life
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist

While I'm waiting for these updates to upload
Let me talk for just a minute about your
Use of the symbolic qualitative
I haven't been outside since last week
When I went to the beach
Where I spent the whole time
Looking at the ocean
Wishing it was warmer
Where I spent the whole time
Looking for a stronger wire to signal
Because cellular net only had two bars
And was very unreliable

Because you always work on the same night
And I need something else to live a life
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist

When I was a kid going into elementary school
Right before I went into elementary school
I was afraid of everything
I couldn't listen to the radio, I was afraid of the radio
Now that I'm going into college it's like the exact same thing
I am literally becoming afraid of everything

Because you always work on the same night




And I need something else to live a life
I'm making you a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist

Overall Meaning

In "Portrait of the Artist as a Young Fag," Car Seat Headrest's frontman Will Toledo touches on themes of loneliness, creativity, and sexuality through the lens of an online fetish forum. The lyrics paint a vivid picture of a person experiencing a profound sense of isolation as they spend hours browsing fetish forums on their MacBook, while simultaneously grappling with their own creative impulses. The use of a MacBook as a central metaphor for this sense of disconnection draws on the ubiquity of technology in modern life and further emphasizes the feelings of detachment and emptiness present in the song.


Toledo's lyrics also explore the complexities of creative inspiration and the sacrifices one must make in pursuit of artistic vision. The lines "Because you always work on the same night / And I need something else to live a life / I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist" underscore the tension between artistic inspiration and the demands of daily life. The reference to "painting a portrait" represents the struggle to capture and articulate the intricacies of human experience that are often lost in the mundane humdrum of everyday existence.


One of the central themes of the song is the sense of alienation and marginalization experienced by its protagonist. The use of language is key here, with Toledo employing a mix of formal and informal language to highlight the character's discomfort and uncertainty. The reference to "anthro-fiction" and "superlative words" serves to underline the character's struggle to connect with both themselves and others on a deeper level.


Line by Line Meaning

My fingerprints are getting burned off
My fingers are feeling a burning sensation due to excessive use of the too hot touchpad of my MacBook Pro.


From using the too hot touchpad
The touchpad of my MacBook Pro is hotter than usual, causing discomfort to my fingers.


Of my MacBook Pro
The touchpad that is causing the discomfort is situated on my MacBook Pro, where I am browsing a fetish-based forum.


As I casually scroll through
While scrolling through the forum, I am doing so in a relaxed and nonchalant manner, without any apparent concern for the content.


The fetish based forum
The forum I am browsing is centered around specific and particular sexual interests.


Of which I am an active member
I am a contributing and engaged participant in the forum's community.


I promise I will never use the term anthro-fiction
I pledge to refrain from using a specific term, anthro-fiction, to describe another's work.


When describing your body of work
I am referring to a particular entity's work, and resolve to avoid using the above mentioned term when doing so.


I promise I will never stop over using superlative
I am committing to continue the excessive use of words like rad, awesome, or neat, when appropriate.


Words like rad or awesome or neat
I intend to keep using words such as rad, awesome, and neat as they accurately express my feelings towards certain things.


Because you always work on the same night
Because the individual referred to consistently works during the same night, I am seeking alternatives to occupy myself during those times.


And I need something else to live a life
I require additional stimuli and activities beyond my current routine to have a fulfilling life.


I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist
I am generating significant monetary compensation by creating a piece that represents the musical artist in question.


While I'm waiting for these updates to upload
As I am waiting for files to upload to the internet, I am taking the opportunity to address a particular matter.


Let me talk for just a minute about your
I would like to take a brief moment to discuss a particular aspect of the individual's work.


Use of the symbolic qualitative
I am referring to the individual's approach using symbols and qualitative language in their work.


I haven't been outside since last week
I have not ventured outdoors since a week ago.


When I went to the beach
One week ago, the only occasion I left the house for was a trip to the beach.


Where I spent the whole time
During my time at the beach, I dedicated the entire duration of my visit to a specific activity.


Looking at the ocean
The activity I engaged in while at the beach was solely gazing upon the vast expanse of the ocean before me.


Wishing it was warmer
During my time at the beach, I wished the temperature was slightly warmer than it was.


Looking for a stronger wire to signal
During my time outdoors, I was looking for a more potent signal to use to connect to the internet.


Because cellular net only had two bars
Since the signal strength of my cellular network was only registering at two bars, I was struggling to connect to the internet with ease.


And was very unreliable
Additionally, the reliability of the network was low, making it difficult to browse.


When I was a kid going into elementary school
As a young child ready to begin school, I was experiencing several anxieties and uncertainties.


Right before I went into elementary school
Just before starting my primary education, I was undergoing several issues and emotions.


I was afraid of everything
I experienced a pervasive and omnipresent fear that permeated all aspects of my life.


I couldn't listen to the radio, I was afraid of the radio
The fear that I experienced had specific manifestations, such as being unable to listen to the radio without experiencing fear and anxiety.


Now that I'm going into college it's like the exact same thing
As I prepare to enter college, the same feelings of apprehension and fear have arisen once again.


I am literally becoming afraid of everything
I am experiencing a genuine fear and anxiety towards everything in my life.


Making you a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist
I am creating a work of art that represents the individual in question and earning significant financial compensation from it.




Contributed by Abigail H. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

@alanmalin4431

[Verse 1:]
My fingerprints are getting burned off
From using the too hot touchpad
Of my MacBook Pro
As I casually scroll through
The fetish-based forum
Of which I am an active member
I promise I will never use the term anthro-fiction
When describing your body of work
I promise I will never stop overusing superlative words
Like rad or awesome or neato

[Chorus:]
Because you always work on Thursday night
And I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist

[Verse 2:]
While we're waiting for these updates to upload
Let me talk for just a minute about your youth
Of the symbolic father figure
I haven't been outside since last week
When I went to the beach
Where I spent the whole time
Looking at the ocean wishing it was warmer
Where I spent the whole time
Looking for a stronger wireless signal
Because cellular net only had two bars
And was very unreliable

[Chorus:]
Because you always work on Thursday night
And I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist

[Verse 3 (Spoken):]
When I was a kid going into elementary school
Right before I went into elementary school
I was afraid of everything
Like, I couldn't listen to the radio; I was afraid of the radio
And now that I'm going into college it's like the exact same thing:
I am literally becoming afraid of everything, and it's-

[Chorus:]
Because you always work on Thursday night
And I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist



@lunchmonkey

my fingerprints are getting burned off
from using the too hot touchpad
of my MacBook Pro
as I casually scroll through
the fetish-based forum
of which I am an active member
I promise I will never use the term anthro-fiction
when describing your body of work
I promise I will never stop overusing superlative words
like rad or awesome or neato

because you always work on thursday night
and I need something else to analyze
I'm making a fortune, painting you a portrait of the artist

while we're waiting for these updates to upload
let me talk for just a minute about your youth
of the symbolic father figure
I haven't been outside since last week
when I went to the beach
where I spent the whole time
looking at the ocean wishing it was warmer
where I spent the whole time
looking for a stronger wireless signal
because cellular net only had two bars
and was very unreliable

[2nd chorus]

when I was a kid going into elementary school
right before I went into elementary school
I was afraid of everything
like, I couldn't listen to the radio; I was afraid of the radio
and now that I'm going into college it's like the exact same thing
I am literally becoming afraid of everything, and it's-

[3rd chorus]



All comments from YouTube:

@JN-nu7ld

I like how songs like these talk about a relationship or depression and climate change and it has a title like "old ballsacks don't write new songs at 3:32pm"

@cjscarff6453

I agree

@pumpkinuser2624

Yes

@apb_134

Id listen to that song

@RamenNamen991

I mean, that sounds like a chapbook title of funky prose poetry to me. So that's a perfect correlation lol

@melon2point082

If i ever write a song I'm %100 stealing that

2 More Replies...

@user-yw8tg8hw7j

this is why i can’t tell people my music taste

@corg_9939

I was already going to like this compliment as it was both correct and also hurt - then I saw your snufkin pfp and decided this needed as much support as it could physically get <3

@amovy031

i went to a vinyl store and had to ask the guy working there if they had car seat headrest. most shameful moment of my life

@Tangiiness

did they?

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