Wavering
Casey Lyrics


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I've let melancholy permeate my epidermis
It resonates with every word and I'm stirred awake at night
Because my mind is but a pendulum that oscillates
It swings from grief that suffocates
To brevity my voice can't shake
I stutter when I speak 'cause I'm still so weak

I guess the notion of content has always felt incongruent
But it took a long time to be honest with myself
About the solipsistic attitude I take towards my health

Oh, how it pains me to admit it
But I'm far from self-sufficient
My independence stolen
By persistent mental illness

Please, don't mistake my silence for ignorance
I'm trying to be better at this
But I'm sick and tired of self-abusing
And making excuses for why

I hesitate to lead a life that should elate me
I'm reminded daily that my depression can't be justified
But I can't seem to quieten down my mind
I've always been ashamed to say that maybe I need help
But it's either that, or face the fact I may end up killing myself

I can't tell if I'm a coward for being scared to leave
Or if I'm brave for staying when I'm riddled with worry
So, this is an open letter to myself in ten years' time




I'm sorry if you're not around to read this
I swear that I tried

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Casey's song Wavering delve deep into the struggles of mental health. The opening lines "I've let melancholy permeate my epidermis, it resonates with every word and I'm stirred awake at night" paint a vivid picture of the pervasive nature of depression, how it seeps into every aspect of one's being and cannot be escaped even in sleep. The next lines "because my mind is but a pendulum that oscillates, it swings from grief that suffocates to brevity my voice can't shake, I stutter when I speak 'cause I'm still so weak" highlight the instability of the mind when plagued with depression; it oscillates between extreme emotions that render one powerless.


The song then moves on to explore the internal conflict of seeking help for mental illness. The singer grapples with a solipsistic attitude towards their own health - "about the solipsistic attitude I take towards my health, oh, how it pains me to admit it". They acknowledge that their independence has been stolen by persistent mental illness, and while they try to be better, they are "sick and tired of self-abusing and making excuses". The singer is torn between wanting to lead a fulfilling life and the reality of their depression holding them back - "I hesitate to lead a life that should elate me, I'm reminded daily that my depression can't be justified, but I can't seem to quieten down my mind".


The song ends with an open letter to the singer's future self, apologizing if they are "not around to read this". It's a moving acknowledgment of the gravity of mental health struggles and the challenges of fighting one's own mind. In summary, Wavering is a powerful reflection of the complexities and struggles of mental health and the internal conflict of seeking help.


Line by Line Meaning

I've let melancholy permeate my epidermis
I've allowed sadness to sink in deep under my skin


It resonates with every word and I'm stirred awake at night
Every word reminds me of my sadness and I am kept awake all night


Because my mind is but a pendulum that oscillates
My mind swings back and forth like a pendulum


It swings from grief that suffocates
My mind is filled with overwhelming sadness that feels suffocating


To brevity my voice can't shake
And then suddenly, I feel empty and my voice can't recover


I stutter when I speak 'cause I'm still so weak
I have difficulty speaking because I am still feeling so weak


I guess the notion of content has always felt incongruent
I feel like happiness doesn't really fit for me


But it took a long time to be honest with myself
It took me a while to admit it to myself


About the solipsistic attitude I take towards my health
That I tend to keep my problems to myself and only think about my own health


Oh, how it pains me to admit it
It hurts me so much to say this out loud


But I'm far from self-sufficient
But I know I can't handle things on my own


My independence stolen
My ability to be independent has been taken away from me


By persistent mental illness
Due to my ongoing struggles with mental illness


Please, don't mistake my silence for ignorance
Just because I'm quiet, it doesn't mean I don't understand


I'm trying to be better at this
I am doing my best to improve


But I'm sick and tired of self-abusing
I'm done with being so hard on myself


And making excuses for why
And coming up with reasons for why I'm not doing better


I hesitate to lead a life that should elate me
I am afraid to live a life that should make me happy


I'm reminded daily that my depression can't be justified
I know that my depression doesn't really make sense


But I can't seem to quieten down my mind
But I can't seem to find peace in my mind


I've always been ashamed to say that maybe I need help
I've always felt embarrassed to ask for help


But it's either that, or face the fact I may end up killing myself
But I know I need to get help or things might end up really badly


I can't tell if I'm a coward for being scared to leave
I'm not sure if I'm being a coward for being afraid of what might happen


Or if I'm brave for staying when I'm riddled with worry
Or if I'm actually being brave for staying despite feeling so worried


So, this is an open letter to myself in ten years' time
This is a letter I'm writing to myself, to read ten years from now


I'm sorry if you're not around to read this
I hope I'm still alive then to read this


I swear that I tried
But if I'm not, please know that I did everything I could to get better




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS
Written by: Thomas Jeffrey Weaver, Liam Kane Torrance, Adam Paul Smith, Toby James Evans, Maximillian Carnegie Nicolai

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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Comments from YouTube:

Animate

"So, this is an open letter to myself in ten years' time. I'm sorry if you're not around to read this, I swear that I tried" this line right here. This song my favorite

poogchomp

I related harder to that lyric than anything I have in my entire life. I tried my hardest but nothing was ever good enough for anyone.

lypura

Geez, just reading that line gave me chills.

Jaysus777Live

tom's writing is next level

Maria Koleza

LIJ4Productions man, same..

blurryTVR

I can’t tell if I’m a coward for being scared to leave, or if I’m brave for staying when I’m riddled with worry.. <3 :/

Reyals fo Swodahs

This band never lets me down.

֍ Denis Ashton ֍

Hang in there Tom! Keep rocking y’all 💗

Grimm760

this band is perfect

MotocrossRacingOnline

"I can’t tell if I’m a coward for being scared to leave, or if I’m brave for staying when I’m riddled with worry."
fuck, man

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