All of his music up until Oops! I Did It Again were classified as IDM (Intelligent dance music) and had very little vocals or lyrics for the most part. However, Kidwell was not content to stay behind the laptop while on tour, and quickly and openly aspired to become "#1 Entertainer". He started to hone freestyling skills and performing new songs. In 2002, he won a coveted tour spot opening for the East Coast leg of the Death and Dismemberment tour with Death Cab for Cutie and old friends from Washington, DC The Dismemberment Plan. Later that year, Tall, Dark, and Handcuffed, his first album with full vocals, was released.
2003 was a pivotal year for Kidwell - after spending his entire life living in or around Baltimore, he packed up and drove out to Oakland, California. Car malfunctions and a week stranded in the western US became the inspiration for his second album of that year, Maryland Mansions, an album about suicide which pushed the motifs of his previous album Being Ridden further and was modelled somewhat on the Nine Inch Nails EP Broken. Two music videos for Maryland Mansions were released early in 2004, and Kidwell moved again, to Chicago a few months later.
Shortly thereafter, he married Roby Newton (from the band Milemarker), and reorganized Cex as a three-piece: Kidwell, Newton, and Cale Parks (from the bands Joan of Arc and Aloha). This configuration released an EP, Know Doubt, in 2005 on a Chicago label called Record Label. The next Cex album is titled Actual Fucking and will be released July 4th, 2006. The album is heavy on vocals and will be released by Seattle label Automation Records.
Cut Wrists
Cex Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
Something that you said that you never wanted
And doubt spread all over your body
A painful source, yeah, the confidence died
You'd kill yourself
To bring curses and poison all raining upon us
But your plan was spoiled
And so you were dead
And nobody watched and nobody wondered
It wasn't all that different
Than how things were before you were gone
Now there's too much blood
There's too much blood on your palms
And the way it runs off through your fingers is all wrong
It's all wrong
So you wake and the house still stands
And you can guess across town the store's there too
So you go, take the bus to the train, walk the rest
And spend another day waiting, waiting
The expectations die one at a time
And suddenly now, where once an acute type of pain you could feel
Signal the end of some distant stranger's faith in you
You tried
What would anyone else have done
You tried
Was there anything you didn't do
You tried
Was there a way to put your insides in English, and you just missed it
You just missed it and never knew
There's too much blood
There's too much blood on your palms
And the way it runs off through your fingers is all wrong
The song "Cut Wrists" by Cex is a powerful exploration of the pain and hopelessness that can lead to thoughts of suicide. The lyrics speak to the inner turmoil of someone who feels like they've lost everything, and who can't see a way out of their despair.
The opening lines of the song suggest that something has been taken away from the singer - something that they never wanted to lose. This loss has left them filled with doubt and pain, and they feel like their confidence has died. The next lines speak to their desire to end their life, even if it means causing harm to those around them. However, their plan is thwarted by critics who criticize their choice to end their life. In the end, the singer dies, but nobody seems to notice or care.
The final lines of the song are particularly haunting - they speak to the idea that the blood on the singer's palms is all wrong, and that they are somehow responsible for the way it runs off through their fingers. This suggests that the singer feels like they are responsible for their own pain, and that they are unable to escape it.
Overall, "Cut Wrists" is a powerful song that explores the pain and hopelessness of suicidal thoughts. The lyrics are haunting and raw, and they speak to the deep emotional wounds that can drive someone to want to end their own life.
Line by Line Meaning
The sky took away
Something was taken away from you by fate
Something that you said that you never wanted
Something you didn't want to happen happened as a result of your actions
And doubt spread all over your body
You became overwhelmed with uncertainty and insecurity
A painful source, yeah, the confidence died
Your confidence was destroyed by a source of pain
You'd kill yourself
You would do anything to hurt those around you
To bring curses and poison all raining upon us
You wanted to afflict others with pain and destruction
But your plan was spoiled
Your efforts were thwarted
At the last minute, by critics who panned your suicide
Critics expressed disapproval of your suicidal intentions, which prevented you from going through with them
And so you were dead
You felt lifeless and numb inside
And nobody watched and nobody wondered
No one noticed or cared about your suffering
It wasn't all that different
Your absence didn't have much of an impact
Than how things were before you were gone
Life went on as usual after you left
Now there's too much blood
You are burdened by guilt and shame
There's too much blood on your palms
You feel responsible for causing harm
And the way it runs off through your fingers is all wrong
You cannot shake off the feeling of wrongdoing and regret
So you wake and the house still stands
You wake up to find that the world hasn't changed
And you can guess across town the store's there too
Everything is still the same outside your immediate surroundings
So you go, take the bus to the train, walk the rest
You go about your day-to-day routine, but it feels meaningless
And spend another day waiting, waiting
You feel stuck, waiting for something to change
The expectations die one at a time
Your hopes and dreams fade away gradually
And suddenly now, where once an acute type of pain you could feel
You used to feel sharp pain, but now nothing at all
Signal the end of some distant stranger's faith in you
You have lost respect and trust from others
You tried
You made an effort
What would anyone else have done
You wonder if anyone else would have acted differently
Was there anything you didn't do
You question if you missed any opportunities
Was there a way to put your insides in English, and you just missed it
You wonder if you could have expressed yourself better
You just missed it and never knew
You missed an opportunity without realizing it
There's too much blood
You cannot escape the consequences of your actions
There's too much blood on your palms
You are responsible for causing harm
And the way it runs off through your fingers is all wrong
You cannot shake off the feeling of wrongdoing and regret
Contributed by Addison P. Suggest a correction in the comments below.