All of his music up until Oops! I Did It Again were classified as IDM (Intelligent dance music) and had very little vocals or lyrics for the most part. However, Kidwell was not content to stay behind the laptop while on tour, and quickly and openly aspired to become "#1 Entertainer". He started to hone freestyling skills and performing new songs. In 2002, he won a coveted tour spot opening for the East Coast leg of the Death and Dismemberment tour with Death Cab for Cutie and old friends from Washington, DC The Dismemberment Plan. Later that year, Tall, Dark, and Handcuffed, his first album with full vocals, was released.
2003 was a pivotal year for Kidwell - after spending his entire life living in or around Baltimore, he packed up and drove out to Oakland, California. Car malfunctions and a week stranded in the western US became the inspiration for his second album of that year, Maryland Mansions, an album about suicide which pushed the motifs of his previous album Being Ridden further and was modelled somewhat on the Nine Inch Nails EP Broken. Two music videos for Maryland Mansions were released early in 2004, and Kidwell moved again, to Chicago a few months later.
Shortly thereafter, he married Roby Newton (from the band Milemarker), and reorganized Cex as a three-piece: Kidwell, Newton, and Cale Parks (from the bands Joan of Arc and Aloha). This configuration released an EP, Know Doubt, in 2005 on a Chicago label called Record Label. The next Cex album is titled Actual Fucking and will be released July 4th, 2006. The album is heavy on vocals and will be released by Seattle label Automation Records.
My Head
Cex Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
And turned the volume to ten
I tried to scream along
The words to something big
But my lungs couldn't handle it
My chest was strained
And my face was red
But the albums make it sound so easy
And the pressure gets released
But it never sounds the same
When you're the one who's screaming
Between the world and my brain
This voice supports everything I think on its back
And its little spine is bending
I've listened all my life and you haven't told me anything
Where's the embarrassment?
Where's the banality?
I want to hold the moments that you flush from your memory
One day I'll make songs
Songs'll make it permanent
Form it in forms
The whole world might learn from this
And then all the hours of paralysis, imprisonment
It might be worth it, might be worth it, might be...
My head is spinning
But very, very slowly
And I hope one day my singing
Might contain or control it
There's a temporary sanity
In this anorexic vanity business
Satisfaction can't exist
I love work, I love success
The song "My Head" by Cex explores the struggle of trying to express oneself through music, specifically through screaming and singing. The first verse describes the attempt to sing along to music with intense passion, but feeling physically limited by strained lungs and a red face. Despite what the album makes it sound like, screaming is not easy for the person trying to do it. The second verse delves deeper into the purpose of music, stating that the voice in one's head supports and forms everything they think, but listening to music doesn't always provide the deeper connection they crave. There is a desire to create music that captures and immortalizes specific moments in time, to make it all "worth it" amidst the "paralysis, imprisonment" of self-expression.
The chorus is a reflection on this inner turmoil and frustration, stating that while their head may be spinning, music might be the one thing that could contain and control it. The verses continue to explore the insecurity and dissatisfaction that comes with creating music, with the bridge focusing on the temporary satisfaction that success and productivity can provide.
Overall, "My Head" is a reflective piece on the difficulties of self-expression through music, but also the persistence and drive to continue to create and connect through it regardless.
Line by Line Meaning
I got in the car
I entered the car
And turned the volume to ten
I increased the volume to the highest level
I tried to scream along
I attempted to shout the lyrics
The words to something big
The lyrics to a significant song
But my lungs couldn't handle it
My lungs couldn't bear the strain
My chest was strained
My chest was under pressure
And my face was red
My face turned red due to exertion
But the albums make it sound so easy
But recordings make it appear simple
Put your mouth to microphone
Place your mouth near the mic
And the pressure gets released
And the tension dissipates
But it never sounds the same
But the live performance differs from the recording
When you're the one who's screaming
When you're the one doing the yelling
Between the world and my brain
Between the external world and my thoughts
This voice supports everything I think on its back
This voice reinforces all my ideas
And its little spine is bending
And its weak backbone is straining
I've listened all my life and you haven't told me anything
I've heard it all my life and haven't learned anything new
Where's the embarrassment?
Where's the shame?
Where's the banality?
Where's the dullness?
I want to hold the moments that you flush from your memory
I want to keep the memories you discard
One day I'll make songs
Someday I'll create music
Songs'll make it permanent
Songs will make it lasting
Form it in forms
Present it in various structures
The whole world might learn from this
The entire world may gain insight from it
And then all the hours of paralysis, imprisonment
And then the long periods of stagnation, confinement
It might be worth it, might be worth it, might be...
It might justify the effort, might be worth it, might be...
My head is spinning
I'm feeling dizzy
But very, very slowly
But in a gradual way
And I hope one day my singing
And I desire that one day my singing
Might contain or control it
Will soothe or regulate my condition
There's a temporary sanity
There's a momentary rationality
In this anorexic vanity business
In this self-admiring industry that's lacking substance
Satisfaction can't exist
Fulfillment cannot exist
I love work, I love success
I enjoy working hard and achieving success
Lyrics © O/B/O APRA/AMCOS
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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