The Childhood of a Leader
Cex Lyrics

Snake handler, faith healer
Mentions professions that supposedly have powers to heal or influence people's lives

Lawyer, doctor, sword swallower
Mentions traditional professions that require education and training, juxtaposed with a bizarre circus performer

Child psychologist, amateur pornographer
Mentions a reputable profession and an unethical one, implying that people can have a dark side despite their chosen career

Sales associate
A low-paying, entry-level job that involves selling products and services to customers

Six percent commission
A small percentage of the sale price that the sales associate earns as their commission

Do you have our club membership?
Asking a customer if they have a membership card that can earn them discounts or other perks

Can I tell you about the benefits?
A common sales pitch to persuade customers to sign up for a membership

Photo developing, we see every picture
A job that involves developing photos for customers, implying that the artist has access to everyone's private moments

And rob extras of those of the sexual nature
The artist has taken copies of photos that show sexual content for their own personal use

There's a shoebox in the back which is storing the duplications
The artist keeps the sexual photos in a private stash for their own pleasure

Right adjacent to a pile of blank applications
The stash of sexual photos is situated near a stack of blank job applications, suggesting an insecurity in the singer's current position

And if our patrons weren't so ordinary, I might take up blackmail
The artist would consider using the scandalous photos to blackmail more interesting or wealthy people, but the photos aren't valuable enough

I'd seize upon the evil if I thought it would be the key to feeling once again
The singer acknowledges that their actions are immoral but they continue to do them because it makes them feel alive

But what I can gather from these bins is that
The singer has spent a lot of time looking through people's personal photos and reflecting on the nature of human existence

People's lives don't provide many pictures worth stealing
The singer realizes that most people's lives are ordinary and uneventful, not worth the time or effort to steal their personal photos

Just like mine, although plenty get abandoned
The artist relates to the fact that their own life is unremarkable and that they too have discarded many of their own photos

I've stopped seeking sex to find different kinds of passion
The artist has engaged in sexual deviance but now seeks fulfillment in other ways

Because sometimes amongst the thumbs and out of focus baby shots
Even though most photos are boring, occasionally there are ones that reveal true emotions or experiences

A candid picture of anger or happiness shows up
These rare moments of authenticity provide the singer with a sense of hope that there is more to life than what they currently experience

I know I've been swallowed
The artist feels trapped in their current job and life situation

I can feel the acid eating at my skin
The stress of the job and life situation is affecting the artist's physical and mental health

I don't want to live in the stomach
The artist wants to escape their current situation and not be consumed by it

But I don't want to be shit
The singer fears the outcome of leaving their current situation or job and being unsuccessful

Out into the streets with parts of me partially digested
If the artist leaves their current situation, they will carry with them the negative experiences that have affected them up to this point

Left here in the beast
The singer is trapped in their current situation with no clear way out

And if I don't die
The singer feels like their current situation may kill them if they don't find a way to escape it

I'm developing quite an appetite
The singer is becoming more and more desperate to leave their current situation and will do whatever it takes

I guess I'll have to eat my way back outside
The artist acknowledges the difficulty of leaving their current job or life situation and that it will require a significant effort

I've got it down to where it takes me about an hour
The artist has a routine for cleaning up at their job

To bag the trash and get it out from underneath the counter
The singer does menial tasks at their job to pass the time

Lost in thought, God it's hot, a ghost inside the register
The singer is mentally disengaged from their job and feels like a ghost trapped in their physical body

Zombie walking parking lots
The artist is physically present but mentally checked out from their job and life situation

Waiting for my moms to pick me up
The artist is stuck in a position where their parents still need to pick them up from work

Holding down the vomit in my throat
The artist is physically ill from their job or life situation

I hope no one I know ever sees me in this state
The singer is ashamed of their current job or life situation and doesn't want anyone they know to see them like this

Weeks deep in the belly of the beast named retail
The artist is stuck in a job that is slowly consuming their soul and is realizing the full extent of their situation

I want to yell "help me!"
The singer feels trapped and helpless in their current situation

The scream of something's very wrong
The singer is acknowledging that their current situation is not normal or healthy, and wants to escape it

But everyone will tell me that my battle cry is too banal
The singer knows that others may not understand the gravity of their situation and may not provide the support they need

And way dated
The artist fears that their struggle is not unique or special, and that others may not care

No, I can't explain it
The artist feels like they cannot adequately express their emotions or feelings about their current situation

But I didn't say that they could take
The singer acknowledges that they did not explicitly agree to be treated poorly or exploited in their current job

What they're exchanging for my paycheck
The singer is being paid for their labor, but the emotional and physical toll of the job is not worth the money they receive

I will not be addicted
The artist is making a decision to not give in to unhealthy habits or coping mechanisms

To cigarettes and scratch-off lotto tickets
Mentions two common vices that people use to cope with stress or difficult situations

I'm not satisfied to lie about my clock-out times
The artist is striving for honesty and integrity in their job, even though it is difficult

When I close the store
The singer is responsible for closing the store at the end of their shift

I need something more from this life
The artist is searching for a greater purpose or meaning in their life

In the pictures I horde, I find one in every five hundred
The singer has collected a large number of personal photos from their job, but most of them are unremarkable

That makes me feel a little less disgusting
The rare moments of authenticity or emotion captured in the photos help the singer feel better about themselves and their life

The answer must be here, I just haven't found it yet
The singer is hopeful that there is a solution to their current situation, but they haven't found it yet

That's why I keep stealing, so I can not forget
The artist continues to take photos from their job as a way to cope and not forget the true nature of humanity that they glimpse in rare moments

That I was once whole, I was once real
The artist remembers a time when they felt more fulfilled and authentic in their life

It's just a job, so it's not a big deal, right?
The singer is struggling with feelings of insignificance and guilt for feeling unhappy in their job or life situation

So why am I so acutely aware that I'm being digested?
The singer feels like they are trapped in a cycle of negative emotions and experiences, and can't escape it

Why am I scared at night that I might not survive in this climate?
The artist is afraid that their current situation may lead to death or physical and emotional harm

My body's a box, and I'm sealed inside it
The artist feels trapped in their physical and emotional body, unable to escape their current situation

Why have we decided that we're stuck behind the stomach lining?
The artist is questioning why people feel like they have no control over their lives or current situation

I'll find a way out, or die trying
The singer is determined to escape their current situation, even if it means risking their life or well-being

I'll find a way out or die trying
The repetition of this line emphasizes the artist's determination and desperation to escape their current situation

I'll find a way out, I'll find a way, I'll find a way out or die trying
The final repetition of this line reinforces the singer's determination and desperation to escape their current situation, and highlights the overall theme of the song