All of his music up until Oops! I Did It Again were classified as IDM (Intelligent dance music) and had very little vocals or lyrics for the most part. However, Kidwell was not content to stay behind the laptop while on tour, and quickly and openly aspired to become "#1 Entertainer". He started to hone freestyling skills and performing new songs. In 2002, he won a coveted tour spot opening for the East Coast leg of the Death and Dismemberment tour with Death Cab for Cutie and old friends from Washington, DC The Dismemberment Plan. Later that year, Tall, Dark, and Handcuffed, his first album with full vocals, was released.
2003 was a pivotal year for Kidwell - after spending his entire life living in or around Baltimore, he packed up and drove out to Oakland, California. Car malfunctions and a week stranded in the western US became the inspiration for his second album of that year, Maryland Mansions, an album about suicide which pushed the motifs of his previous album Being Ridden further and was modelled somewhat on the Nine Inch Nails EP Broken. Two music videos for Maryland Mansions were released early in 2004, and Kidwell moved again, to Chicago a few months later.
Shortly thereafter, he married Roby Newton (from the band Milemarker), and reorganized Cex as a three-piece: Kidwell, Newton, and Cale Parks (from the bands Joan of Arc and Aloha). This configuration released an EP, Know Doubt, in 2005 on a Chicago label called Record Label. The next Cex album is titled Actual Fucking and will be released July 4th, 2006. The album is heavy on vocals and will be released by Seattle label Automation Records.
You Kiss Like You
Cex Lyrics
Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴
When we tried to name it
Passing back and forth
The bile that we were tasting
Ground our teeth to powder
Nothing ever changes
Have to find some solace while my fists
Continue swinging
Looking for dead animals
The most perverted, twisted form of flirting
Sorry if I hurt you
Middle of the ice
Striking at the surface
Frozen, my reflection,
By any means I'll burned
We said things in the dark
Pasture with deny
So I kept my eyes shut tight
There's nothing there to prove I care, now
The ugliness I shared
Is buried, safe under the ground
Not even the scar
Barely recollected
Don't think I should be allowed to forget you
Shadows I had occupied
And made my home in
Were not fighting to me 'til the day you showed up
The moment you left me
Ends the minute he slips away
But is it lonely
Sitting, watching atop this grave
I don't want to replace what the earth took from you
Yeah but you kiss like you're dead
Already I'm worried.
The lyrics of Cex's song "You Kiss Like You're Dead" are layered, cryptic and open to interpretation in numerous ways. The artist seems to be speaking of a tumultuous relationship that has now come to an end. The opening lines, "It burned our tongues and stomachs when we tried to name it" captures the concept of a relationship that is difficult to define, yet painful when spoken of. The bile mentioned here is likely a metaphor for the bitterness that existed between the two parties.
The repetition of the line "Nothing ever changes" suggests a sense of futility and frustration the singer has experienced while in this relationship. They continue to try and find solace, but are met with unrelenting conflict, as seen in the line "Have to find some solace while my fists continue swinging". This sense of anger and unease persists throughout the song, reflected in the images of "looking for dead animals" and "striking at the surface" that suggest a desire to cause harm.
The bridge of the song shifts from anger to grief as Cex sings, "I don't want to replace what the earth took from you." Here, the singer seems to be grappling with feelings of guilt and regret, particularly around the idea of "burying" the ugliness of their relationship. The repetitious nature of the chorus echoes the circular nature of a relationship, while the use of violent imagery underscores just how intense and painful that relationship was.
Line by Line Meaning
It burned our tongues and stomachs
The feeling of the substance we consumed was uncomfortable and unpleasant in our mouths and insides.
When we tried to name it
We attempted to identify the substance, but it was difficult to do so.
Passing back and forth
We shared the uncomfortable feeling by taking turns experiencing it.
The bile that we were tasting
The substance we ingested caused us to feel nauseated.
Ground our teeth to powder
The situation was so frustrating that it caused us to clench our jaws intensely.
Nothing ever changes
Regardless of what we do, the outcome remains the same.
Have to find some solace while my fists
Continue swinging
I need to distract myself while I take out my frustration through physical actions.
Looking for dead animals
Searching for something that is morbid or disturbing for the purpose of shocking or impressing someone else.
The most perverted, twisted form of flirting
Engaging in these actions to show attraction towards another person is highly inappropriate and warped.
Sorry if I hurt you
Apologizing for inflicting emotional or physical pain on someone else.
Middle of the ice
Being in a situation that is risky or dangerous, like being stuck in the middle of a frozen lake.
Striking at the surface
Attempting to break through a barrier or cover to reveal something hidden.
Frozen, my reflection,
A moment where I am able to truly see myself and my actions, but I am unable to make any changes in the present.
By any means I'll burned
I am willing to go to extreme lengths even if it causes harm to myself or others.
We said things in the dark
During times of secrecy or intense emotion, we revealed things about ourselves to each other that might not be shared in daylight.
Pasture with deny
Living in a state of denial, ignoring the truth and choosing to not confront it.
So I kept my eyes shut tight
I chose to avoid confronting reality by closing off the source of input from my sense of sight.
There's nothing there to prove I care, now
There is no action or reaction that would show that I still have feelings for this person.
The ugliness I shared
The parts of me that are shameful and negative that I revealed to this person.
Is buried, safe under the ground
Those aspects of myself are hidden and protected.
Not even the scar
Barely recollected
Even the memory of the wound that it caused has faded with time.
Don't think I should be allowed to forget you
Despite the pain associated with the memories of you, I think it would be unfair to completely erase them.
Shadows I had occupied
And made my home in
The dark and negative aspects of my life that I had become accustomed to and had made a part of my identity.
Were not fighting to me 'til the day you showed up
Those struggles were insignificant until you came into my life and brought attention to them.
The moment you left me
The exact time that you stopped being a part of my life.
Ends the minute he slips away
The moment that another person leaves me, it feels like my life and self-worth disappear.
But is it lonely
Sitting, watching atop this grave
Despite the sadness and pain, there is some comfort found in being able to observe and reflect on the situation from a place of distance.
I don't want to replace what the earth took from you
I don't want to try and replace or forget about the part of you that was lost through death.
Yeah but you kiss like you're dead
Already I'm worried.
Your actions and behavior in a romantic setting are concerning and make me feel uncomfortable or worried about our relationship.
Lyrics © OBO APRA/AMCOS
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