Chance Waters (originally Phatchance) is an independent hip-hop artist from… Read Full Bio ↴Chance Waters (originally Phatchance) is an independent hip-hop artist from Sydney. Creating a unique brand of local hip-hop utilizing emotive and melancholy textures he sets himself apart from that of his new wave contemporaries, relying heavily on his lyrics which are often reflective of his life and situations as well as touching on existential themes. In 2012, Waters released his sophomore album; Infinity which spawned the two singles Maybe Tomorrow and Young and Dumb, both of which received considerable airplay on Triple J as well as both placing #89 and #45 on the Hottest 100 of 2012. The album received mostly positive reviews, maintaining positive reviews on iTunes and across various other platforms.

Waters has toured the country extensively, both as a headline act and in support of international heavy weights such as Method Man & Redman, DJ Premier and De La Soul, as well as many of Australian hip-hop’s biggest artists, including Bliss N Eso, The Herd, Urthboy, Muph N Plutonic, Drapht, Pez & 360, The Potbelleez and The Funkoars.

Widely regarded as one of the most progressive and entertaining new hip-hop artists in the country, Chance Waters has successfully built a large cult following throughout Australia. His live show incorporates instrumental, acoustic, electronic and theatrical elements and has garnered rave reviews in Street Press, Newspapers and Blogs.

In 2009 He independently released his debut album Inkstains, a disc which saw widespread national acclaim and earned him labels such as "an intelligent lyricist and masterful storyteller" (The Australian Newspaper) "a breath of fresh air" (Rave Magazine) and "an impressive glimpse into the future" (Onion Magazine). The album also earned him coveted featured artist spots on Triple J Unearthed, MYSPACE.COM and SBA Music and the lead single 'Inkstains' achieved playlisting on community radio taste makers including FBi Radio and regular rotation on national youth broadcaster Triple J.

'Inkstains' proved such a hit with audiences that it topped charts in AMRAP's 'Most Ordered To Air' tally, placed in the top 5 of Perisher Blue's Launch Your Band Competition and even went viral on YouTube in a Dane Searls Unit BMX video accruing more than 150,000 plays. The song also won a joint competition run by Triple J Unearthed and NIDA for the production of a professional video clip which was consequently added to playlist on ABC's RAGE.

In 2010 Chance Waters embarked on two separate national headline tours, totalling over thirty dates across the country to more than 7000 punters. On top of this he won a spot to showcase his material at APRA's 'Song Summit Live’, played numerous support slots and spot shows and is set to join 'Mind Over Matter' on the east coast leg of their national tour in December.

In 2011 he is set to release both his Sophomore album and an acoustic EP containing renditions of popular songs from 'Inkstains' as well as previously unreleased material. The EP will be launched in a free three week residency at Sydney's popular Oxford Art Factory, before being taken across the country in a limited run of dates at intimate venues.

The Ticket Inspector
Chance Waters Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

Silver teeth and the cockiness of James ____
Body like a cantaloupe, head like a baked bean,
No gum but he gets pretty irate
So if you run then you better learn to fly, mate.
He spends his mornings tackling evaders,
And daydreaming that they shoot him a tazer,
And if he did then all the money here could save him,
With concession cards and bodies on the pavement.

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously.
But you don′t know all the things he's seen,
There′s a lot of gum under those seats (and people's feet)
And you might joke he takes his job too seriously.
But you don't know all the things he′s seen,
There′s a lot of punks who ride for free (and ____)

But in high school,
He took two lessons in Jiu Jitsu,
And he was pretty good at it.
I guess.
Hey hey, please don't go and,
Go and throw your life away,
Don′t you, don't you run from him son, ′cause he'll fuck up your
Day,
No, he′s not gonna, waste his time taking your name.
Trust me, there'll be no escape,
He's got two feet and half a brain.

This dude′s like Paul Blart mall cop,
If he lost his segway and had a ____
Stop what you′re doing if you see him with his badge on,
Though Jane that the office got his name wrong,
He doesn't have a baton, doesn′t need a mad dog,
Doesn't know a lot of stuff,
But he throws a fat punch, his mum packs his lunch,
Taught him wrong from right.
Saving the world one ticket a time.

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously.
But you don′t know all the things he's seen,
Sometimes children ride for cheap (or talk lightly)
And you might joke he takes his job too seriously.
But you don′t know all the things he's seen,
There's a lot of bums up on these seats (and sometimes feet)

But in high school,
He was one of the members of the runner up for the 100 metre relay team.
He still polishes his medal.

Hey hey, please don′t go and,
Go and throw your life away,
Don′t you, don't you run from him son, ′cause he'll fuck up your
Day,
No, he′s not gonna, waste his time taking your name.
Trust me, there'll be no escape,
He′s got two feet and half a brain.

They wouldn't let him the army (oh, no-o-o-o-oh)
They wouldn't let him be a sergeant (oh, no-o-o-o-oh)
A fireman is far too hard a thing for him to be
He′d write parking tickets, but he does not like to read.

But in highschool,
He lost a jellybean count.
And then the winner didn′t share them
Maybe that's what this all stems from

Hey hey, please don′t go and,
Go and throw your life away,
Don't you, don′t you run from him son, 'cause he′ll fuck up your
Day,
No, he's not gonna, waste his time taking your name.
Trust me, there'll be no escape,
He′s got two feet and half a brain.

Hey hey, please don′t go and,
Go and throw your life away,
Don't you, don′t you run from him son, 'cause he′ll fuck up your
Day,
No, he's not gonna, waste his time taking your name.

Trust me, there′ll be no escape,
He's got two feet and half a brain.

Overall Meaning

Chance Waters's song "The Ticket Inspector" is a humorous take on the character of a ticket inspector on a train. The lyrics describe a man with silver teeth and a cocky attitude who spends his mornings tackling fare evaders. He dreams of being shot with a taser, and imagines that the money he saves with concession cards could save him from certain death. While some might joke that he takes his job too seriously, the lyrics suggest that he has seen some unsavory things in his line of work, such as gum under the seats and punks who ride for free.

The song goes on to describe how the ticket inspector is not to be messed with, as he took two lessons in Jiu Jitsu in high school and still polishes his medal. The character is portrayed as strict and uncompromising, as he will not waste his time taking names and there is no escape from his watchful eye. He is described as a cross between Paul Blart mall cop and a parking ticket enforcer, with a fat punch and half a brain.

Overall, the song is a playful take on the character of a ticket inspector and the sometimes comical lengths to which he will go to enforce the rules. The lyrics use humor to highlight the character's quirks and foibles, while still acknowledging the difficult job he performs.

Line by Line Meaning

Silver teeth and the cockiness of James ____
Describing the appearance and attitude of the ticket inspector, James, with silver teeth and a cocky demeanor.

Body like a cantaloupe, head like a baked bean,
Using a simile to describe James's physique as having a round body like a cantaloupe fruit, and a small head like a baked bean.

No gum but he gets pretty irate
Despite not chewing gum, James quickly becomes annoyed when passengers try to evade their fare.

So if you run then you better learn to fly, mate.
Warning passengers not to try and evade their fare by running, as it's impossible to escape James's watchful eye.

He spends his mornings tackling evaders,
Detailing James's typical day as spending his mornings catching passengers who try to skip fare.

And daydreaming that they shoot him a tazer,
Revealing James's odd fantasy of being tased by passengers he's trying to apprehend.

And if he did then all the money here could save him,
Continuing the previous line's imagery, the lyric suggests that even if James were tased, he would not give up his job as a ticket inspector because of the money it pays.

With concession cards and bodies on the pavement.
Further emphasizing the importance of his job, even jokingly suggesting that bodies might be left in his wake of catching evaders.

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously.
Acknowledging that some people make fun of James's dedication to his job.

But you don′t know all the things he's seen,
Defending James's seriousness by pointing out that he has witnessed various things over the course of his job that may have shaped his seriousness.

There's a lot of gum under those seats (and people's feet)
Revealing one of the things that James comes across in his job, which includes finding gum on seats and shoes.

And you might joke he takes his job too seriously.
Repeating the earlier lyric about people making fun of James's dedication.

But you don′t know all the things he′s seen,
Reiterating that James's experiences at his job have shaped his behavior.

There′s a lot of punks who ride for free (and ____)
Suggesting that James has seen a lot of people try to sneak onto the train without paying their fare.

But in high school,
Transitioning to a new part of the story by mentioning James's earlier years in high school.

He took two lessons in Jiu Jitsu,
Revealing another detail about James's past, specifically that he took a couple of lessons in Jiu Jitsu.

And he was pretty good at it.
Stating that James had some skill in Jiu Jitsu.

Hey hey, please don't go and,
Beginning the chorus by addressing someone directly.

Go and throw your life away,
Warning someone not to jeopardize their life by trying to evade their fare.

Don′t you, don't you run from him son, ′cause he'll fuck up your Day,
Advising the person not to run from James because it will only cause them trouble and ruin their day.

No, he′s not gonna, waste his time taking your name.
Contradicting the idea that James is too serious about his job, suggesting that he doesn't care enough to even ask for the person's name.

Trust me, there'll be no escape,
Reiterating that it's impossible to evade James if someone tries to cheat their fare.

He's got two feet and half a brain.
Insulting James's intelligence by suggesting he only has half a brain, but acknowledging that he is still capable of doing his job.

This dude′s like Paul Blart mall cop,
Comparing James to the fictional character Paul Blart from the movie Mall Cop, who takes his job as a security guard very seriously.

If he lost his segway and had a ____
Continuing the comparison by imagining what James would be like without his tools and uniform.

Stop what you′re doing if you see him with his badge on,
Urging people to be cautious when they see James wearing his badge.

Though Jane that the office got his name wrong,
Jokingly suggesting that the office got James's name wrong, indicating that they don't care much about their employees.

He doesn't have a baton, doesn′t need a mad dog,
Explaining that James doesn't require the typical tools of a ticket inspector to do his job, such as a baton and a dog for apprehension.

Doesn't know a lot of stuff,
Admitting that James might not be the most knowledgeable person, but that he still can do his job effectively.

But he throws a fat punch, his mum packs his lunch,
Jokingly outlining some of James's qualities, such as his ability to throw a good punch and his mother's contribution of his lunch.

Taught him wrong from right.
Hinting that James's mother instilled him with values of morality and legality.

Saving the world one ticket a time.
Sarcastically suggesting that James is saving the world by ensuring that people pay their fares.

Sometimes children ride for cheap (or talk lightly)
More examples of things James encounters in his job, such as occasionally running into children getting a discounted fare or speaking too loudly.

There's a lot of bums up on these seats (and sometimes feet)
Referring to the presence of homeless people on trains, and sometimes their feet resting on the seats.

But in high school,
Returning to the previous story about James's high school days.

He was one of the members of the runner up for the 100 metre relay team.
Revealing another detail about James's past, specifically that he was a runner in a high school relay team.

He still polishes his medal.
Suggesting that James still holds his high school achievements in high regard, as he still polishes his medal.

They wouldn't let him the army (oh, no-o-o-o-oh)
Revealing that James tried to join the army but was rejected for some reason, indicating that his job as a ticket inspector is a sort of consolation prize.

They wouldn't let him be a sergeant (oh, no-o-o-o-oh)
Further explaining why James couldn't join the army by stating that he couldn't even achieve a high rank like a sergeant.

A fireman is far too hard a thing for him to be
Listing another career that James couldn't do, because it would be too difficult for him.

He′d write parking tickets, but he does not like to read.
Suggesting that James has limited options when it comes to careers, as he's not interested in reading and therefore can't be a parking officer either.

Don't you, don't you run from him son, 'cause he'll fuck up your Day,
Repeating an earlier line to emphasize the point that running from James is fruitless.

No, he's not gonna, waste his time taking your name.
Reiterating that James doesn't care about the details of the people he apprehends.

Trust me, there'll be no escape,
Finalizing the chorus by punctuating the point that it's impossible for passengers to cheat their fares with James on duty.

He′s got two feet and half a brain.
Repeating an earlier line to finish off the chorus.

Writer(s): Andrew Albert Burford, Chance Dylan Waters

Contributed by Audrey O. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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