Since You've Been Gone
Cheryl Wheeler Lyrics
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I oughta be stronger than I am
Oughta take comfort in wisdom or something like that
But it isn’t that way, ‘cause sooner or later
I’m still that nervous 9th grader
Watching you pull us together, I never knew how
And since you’ve been gone I’m just fallin’ apart
And I stare out this window till light becomes dark
And there’s nothing that’s touching me now
But not to complain, we’re just bereft, not deserted
Lord knows you’re rest was deserved
It’s just your absence is present in all that I do
In the sun in the field, in the poem I keep saying
In the hymn that some church bells were playing
You have always been part of them but I never knew
How could I ever begin to say?
Surely you already knew
What is this world with you gone away?
How can this finally be true?
Cheryl Wheeler’s song "Since You’ve Been Gone" conveys the pain of losing a loved one and the impact of their absence on the singer's life. The song begins with the singer expressing her desire to be stronger in dealing with the loss, but she admits to feeling like a nervous 9th grader, a reference to a time when she felt vulnerable and unsure, just like now. The loss of this person has left a gaping hole in her life, her soul, and her heart that she can’t seem to fill. She stares out of the window for comfort, but nothing seems to touch her anymore.
As the song progresses, the singer acknowledges that it’s not her intention to complain, but she and her loved ones are bereft of the person who has passed away. Although the rest was deserving, the person's absence is present in all that the singer does. Whether it’s the sun in the field, the poem she keeps saying, or the hymn played at the church bells, the person was a fundamental part of it all. However, the singer never knew how much they meant to her until they were gone. The song ends with the singer’s sense of disbelief and questioning how this could be true, considering how much the person meant to her.
Line by Line Meaning
A woman my age, sittin’ here cryin’
I am an adult, but I am still crying and feeling emotional about your absence.
I oughta be stronger than I am
I feel like I should be able to handle this more easily.
Oughta take comfort in wisdom or something like that
I should be able to find solace in knowledge or advice.
But it isn’t that way, ‘cause sooner or later
Despite what I should be feeling, I am still struggling.
I’m still that nervous 9th grader
I feel like a scared teenager, even though I am an adult.
Watching you pull us together, I never knew how
I relied on you to bring us together, and now I don't know how to do that without you.
And since you’ve been gone I’m just fallin’ apart
Your absence has caused me to feel like I am losing control of my life.
There’s a hole in my life, in my soul, in my heart
Your absence has left a void in every aspect of my being.
And I stare out this window till light becomes dark
I spend my days lost in thought, staring blankly out the window.
And there’s nothing that’s touching me now
I feel numb and unable to connect with anything or anyone.
But not to complain, we’re just bereft, not deserted
I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but I am still struggling with your absence.
Lord knows you’re rest was deserved
I know that you needed to rest and find peace, but it still hurts that you're gone.
It’s just your absence is present in all that I do
Your absence is felt in every aspect of my life.
In the sun in the field, in the poem I keep saying
I am reminded of you in everything around me, including the beauty of nature and the creative work I do.
In the hymn that some church bells were playing
Even the sound of church bells reminds me of you and our shared experiences.
You have always been part of them but I never knew
I realize now that you were always a part of my life, even in ways I didn't fully understand at the time.
How could I ever begin to say?
I don't know how to fully articulate the extent of my grief.
Surely you already knew
I hope you knew how much you meant to me.
What is this world with you gone away?
I am struggling to come to terms with a world where you are no longer with me.
How can this finally be true?
I am still in disbelief that you are really gone and that this is my reality now.
Lyrics © GET SONGS DIRECT
Written by: CHERYL WHEELER
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