Everything Happens to Me
Chet Baker Lyrics

I make a date for golf, and you can bet your life it rains.
Whenever I set plans, they always seem to fall apart. For instance, I schedule a golf date and it ends up raining that day.

I try to give a party, and the guy upstairs complains.
No matter what I do, it seems like something always goes wrong. I throw a party and the person living above me complains about the noise.

I guess I'll go through life, just catching colds and missing trains.
I've come to expect that my life will be full of disappointments and mishaps. I'll always be getting sick and missing important events.

Everything happens to me.
This phrase is the chorus of the song and is repeated several times to emphasize how often things go wrong in the singer's life.

I never miss a thing. I've had the measles and the mumps.
Ironically, I always seem to be present for unfortunate events. I've even had childhood diseases like measles and mumps.

And every time I play an ace, my partner always trumps.
Even when I think I might have a winning hand, something always happens to ruin it. My partner in card games always seems to have a better card and beats me.

I guess I'm just a fool, who never looks before he jumps.
I realize that I'm not always making the best decisions. I tend to act impulsively instead of thinking things through.

At first, my heart thought you could break this jinx for me.
When I met you and fell in love, I thought that maybe things would turn around for me. I hoped that you might be the solution to my bad luck.

That love would turn the trick to end despair.
I believed that being in a loving relationship would make everything better and put an end to my feelings of hopelessness.

But now I just can't fool this head that thinks for me.
Unfortunately, my rational mind is telling me that love can't fix everything. I can't ignore reality and pretend that things will magically get better.

I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.
In my desperation for a solution, I've pinned all my hopes on unlikely scenarios and unrealistic dreams. I've risked everything for something that might not even exist.

I've telegraphed and phoned and sent an air mail special too.
I've tried every possible method of communication to reach you and express my love.

Your answer was goodbye and there was even postage due.
Sadly, I didn't get the response I was hoping for. Your reply was a farewell and I even had to pay for the postage.

I fell in love just once, and then it had to be with you.
Out of all the people I could have fallen for, it had to be you. Even in matters of the heart, everything seems to happen to me.

Everything happens to me.
The last line of the song is a repetition of the chorus to bring the song full circle and emphasize the theme of the song.