Cold
Chiasm Lyrics

The love I hold inside awaits
My love is abundant and eager to be expressed, but it remains trapped within me, waiting for the right moment to be released.

Held back beyond these icy gates
My love is contained within me, unable to penetrate the emotional walls I've constructed that prevent me from sharing my true feelings with others.

And he stares into the space
I am lost in thought, contemplating the complexities of my relationships and the challenges that lie ahead.

This will never fall in place
Despite my best efforts, I fear that my relationships will never reach a state of harmony, and that I will always struggle to find fulfillment and connection with those around me.

I could never be
I have always felt inadequate and insecure, as though I am not enough for those who care about me, and that I can never meet their expectations or desires.

You wanted me to stay inside the world you locked away
Others have tried to control me and limit my experiences, urging me to stay within preconceived boundaries and conform to their narrow expectations, even when it felt unfulfilling or restrictive to me.

The one you've tried to see
Others have attempted to shape me in their image, projecting their own desires and expectations onto me rather than accepting me for who I am as an individual.

But I won't hide from what could be
Despite the pressure and expectations of others, I refuse to hide my authentic self, and am always open to exploring new experiences and relationships that could offer fulfillment and growth.

The future that was made for me
I acknowledge that my path may be challenging and uncertain, but I refuse to be limited by fear or self-doubt and will pursue the future that feels true to myself and my values.

I don't want to be
I reject the expectations and pressures of others, and refuse to be confined to their narrow views of who I should be and what I should do with my life.

I held your hand to say we had to part this time today
At times, I have had to end relationships or walk away from situations that were not serving me, despite the pain and uncertainty that may result from doing so.

Anyone but me
I am secure in my sense of self and refuse to be someone I am not, even if it means others reject or disapprove of me as a result.

But now I have no one to hold
Despite my strength and independence, there are times when I feel alone and long for the comfort and support of others.

This shell I've made has left me cold
At times, my efforts to protect and shield myself from others have left me feeling isolated and separate, rather than connected and embraced by those around me.

Deep inside it's cold
Inside, I grapple with emotions that are difficult to express and process, and which may at times feel overwhelming or disorienting.

Deep inside it's old
Some of my deepest fears and insecurities have been with me for a long time, and may be rooted in childhood experiences or other early sources of trauma and pain.

I need you to agree this time it isn't me
When conflicts arise in my relationships, I sometimes struggle to fully understand or communicate my own perspective, and may seek validation or agreement from others when I doubt my own correctness or righteousness.

And he stares into the space
Mostly, I am preoccupied with my own thoughts and feelings, and may at times struggle to connect with or fully understand the motivations and intentions of those around me.

This will never fall in place
Regardless of my own efforts or those of others, relationships and life in general are inherently fraught with challenges and unpredictability, and may at times feel chaotic or disorienting as a result.