Five-Finger Discount
Choking Victim Lyrics

A walk through the product store and 15 aisles to see
Entering the store to walk through it, taking in the sights of the packages and promotions.

All the pretty, pretty packages staring back at me
Noticing the appealing packaging drawing them in with each aisle.

Which is my favorite, where is my chance
Eagerly searching for their preferred item and the opportunity to take it.

To remove the product and stick it in my pants
Acting upon the desire to sneakily stash their selected item in their pants, away from view.

'Cause I want to see, what's on sale what's for free
Justifying their theft as a means of finding the best deals and taking from perceived enemies.

(Every time I go to shop I steal from) enemies
Seeing the store and its customers as rivals, and stealing from them as an act of defiance.

Who steal from me, and from you
Believing that everyone else in the store is taking advantage of them in some way, further justifying their theft.

(If only you knew, then you would steal too)
Encouraging others to follow in their footsteps, presuming that they'd all want to act in a similarly rebellious manner.

Adrenaline rushes, the products in my grip
Feeling a rush of excitement gripping onto their selected item and hiding it from view within their body.

I am only shopping, but now it's time to lift
Feeling as if their act of theft is just part of the shopping experience, not something to be ashamed of.

I look for my moment, and down my pants I stick
Patiently waiting for the opportunity to hide their item within their clothing, and then swiftly placing it there when the timing is right.

The product I've selected is concealed against my dick
Hiding their stolen item in a location that's easily accessible and out of view, close to their body out of paranoia.

'Cause I want to see, what's on sale what's for free
Continuing to justify their theft, driven by the desire for the best deals and the perceived thrill of 'getting away with it.'

(Every time I go to shop I steal from) enemies
Continuing to view the store and its customers as adversaries, and taking items as a way of rebelling against them.

Who steal from me, and from you
Continuing to see everyone else in the store as potential thieves that are also out to take from them.

(If only you knew, then you would steal too)
Encouraging others to join in on their rebellious behavior, continuing to presume that it's something everyone secretly desires to do.

Paranoid as fuck security in tow
Feeling extremely anxious that store security might be following them.

Is he really trailing me and does he really know?
Worrying about the intentions of the security team and if they might be aware of their theft.

Of my little secret my pride and his shame
Feeling proud of their successful theft, while simultaneously aware that their actions would bring them shame if they were caught.

This is so exciting kid, it's like a fucking game
Thrilled with the adrenaline of getting away with something, and viewing their theft as an exciting game to play.

I'm almost to the counter, will I make it to the door
Feeling close to their goal of successfully leaving the store with their stolen item without being caught.

Will I get away like a million times before?
Reflecting on the history of their previous successful thefts, wondering if they'll make it out this time as well.

Or will I be caught, jailed, banned from the store?
At the same time, worrying about the consequences of the expected punishment if they're caught this time and caught from the store.

Like if the product I've selected slips and crashes to the floor
Anxious about the possibility that the item they've stolen might fall and create enough noise to attract unwanted attention.

I get to the door and out the door I slide
Finally making it to the coveted exit and slipping out without being caught.

I feel a sense of dignity, I feel a sense of pride
Feeling proud and accomplished for successfully sneaking out of the store with their ill-gotten gains.

I do a happy dance and down the street I bail
Celebrating their successful theft in the street with an overt display of happiness, and a sense of making a quick escape.

As I have a little feast of what's on sale.
Enjoying their stolen items as a reward for their rebellious behavior and sense of successfully sticking it to their perceived enemies in the store.