Wrecking Ball
Chris Pureka Lyrics

I pushed it hard,
I gave it my all,

That goddamn wrecking ball,
A swinging force, always moving forward,

And I waited for the weight to swing around but it never did.
I waited endlessly for things to get better, but they never did,

And the crows they fell
I saw sorrow and defeat in everything around me,

Around my eyes and still
It was impossible to escape the weight of the world on my shoulders,

No sign of that ball and chain.
No hope for relief from the struggles I faced,

What kind of pendulum never comes back home?
What kind of thing, once in motion, never returns to its starting point?

You start to miss it some.
It's easy to miss what you've lost once it's gone,

The way you miss the rain,
The way you long for something familiar and soothing,

The way you miss the fighting when the war is won...
The way you long for the familiarity of a fight or conflict to keep your mind occupied,

But what I miss the most is knowing just exactly where it hurts,
The familiarity of pain and knowing where it comes from,

Is knowing just exactly what is wrong.
Understanding the root cause of my struggles and pain,

And what I want, and what I want...
But I'm still unsure of what I truly desire,

I miss the ghost trees,
I miss the beauty in things once alive, now gone,

The weary midnight drives,
The solace of being alone on the road in the silence of the night,

The taste of loneliness in the air beyond the towns.
The bitter yet peaceful feeling of being alone in nature outside of civilization,

I miss the resonance of those trigger words,
The familiarity and power of certain words or phrases that can bring back strong emotions or memories,

That crazy one track mind.
The obsessive thought patterns that can consume one's mind in moments of distress,

Sometimes I miss the cold...
The temporary relief that an unfamiliar feeling like intense cold can bring from emotional pain,

I'm remembering the sunlight coming down in shades of blue,
Remembering a time when even the brightest of days could be tinged with sadness,

The sorrow of the aftermath tightening the noose.
The overwhelming sadness that comes after a difficult time or loss,

I'm thinking of the night that all the lights went out,
Thinking back to a moment when everything seemed hopeless,

And how I learned to see in the dark, in the dark, in the dark...
And how I found strength even in the darkest of times,