Awake At the Wall
Christian Death Lyrics


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In decadence and sane
I stood by the wall
Thought I'd left myself at home
Thought I'd turned my back to stone
But all the strangers knew my name
All but one who turned away
In fear he'd been there once before
Behind that same tormented door

I saw his bed amazing
I stole his coat to save the cold
Burnt my speech to keep him warm
Dropped a boy's mouth for my own
But beauty's left the aging for his youth

I want to press my lips
To his winter chill flesh
And press his hands to the sky
I want to sleep in the night In his eyes in the rain in Berlin
I want to sleep in the night In his eyes in the rain in Berlin
I want to sleep in the night In his eyes in the rain in Berlin





(words: Rozz Williams)

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of "Awake at the Wall" by Christian Death describe a sense of dissociation and detachment from oneself. The singer finds themselves standing by a wall, feeling both decadent and insane. They feel as though they have left their true self behind and have become hardened like stone. Despite this, they are recognized by strangers, with the exception of one person who turns away in fear. This person has likely experienced the same tormented emotions that the singer is currently going through.


The singer then describes their experience with another person, whom they refer to as "he." The singer is clearly infatuated with this person, stating that they want to kiss his cold flesh and hold his hands up to the sky. However, the singer also acknowledges that this person is much younger and more beautiful than they are, implying a sense of longing and envy.


Overall, the song explores themes of isolation, disconnection, and desire. The singer feels detached from their own sense of self and seeks connection with others, but is also aware of their own aging and limitations.


Line by Line Meaning

In decadence and sane
Despite appearing mentally stable, I was living in a state of moral decline and decay.


I stood by the wall
I found myself stuck in a familiar and limiting situation.


Thought I'd left myself at home
I believed I had left behind my true self and lost touch with my identity.


Thought I'd turned my back to stone
I felt emotionally detached and unfeeling.


But all the strangers knew my name
Despite my detachment, I was well known and familiar to those around me.


All but one who turned away
There was one person who rejected me and refused to acknowledge my presence.


In fear he'd been there once before
The person who turned away was afraid of me because they had a negative past experience with someone like me.


Behind that same tormented door
The source of his fear was a door that contained unpleasant memories or experiences.


I saw his bed amazing
I was impressed by his bed and wanted it for myself.


I stole his coat to save the cold
I took his coat to keep myself warm, not considering his needs or feelings.


Burnt my speech to keep him warm
I sacrificed something important to me to help him, but it was not enough to truly help him.


Dropped a boy's mouth for my own
I engaged in a physical relationship with someone much younger than me.


But beauty's left the aging for his youth
I was attracted to the boy's youthful beauty, feeling that I had lost my own.


I want to press my lips
I desire to kiss him passionately.


To his winter chill flesh
I am attracted to his cold, distant demeanor.


And press his hands to the sky
I want to lift him up or help him reach for something beyond his grasp.


I want to sleep in the night In his eyes in the rain in Berlin
I want to be close to him and experience the city of Berlin through his perspective.


I want to sleep in the night In his eyes in the rain in Berlin
I long for intimacy with him and for our experiences to be shared.


I want to sleep in the night In his eyes in the rain in Berlin
I want to lose myself in our shared experiences and have a deeper connection with him.




Lyrics © O/B/O APRA AMCOS

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Staci


on The Blue Hour

Thank you, brought a lot of insight about this beautiful track.