Devotion
Client. Lyrics
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It feels so perfect when you're here.
And when you're gone
the guilt is too heavy for me to bear.
I keep lying to your face
only trying to safe myself.
And all the tears that you shed,
Giving everything you have
is giving yourself up right away.
You'll be living in solitude.
The past will not make up with you.
But that's alright.
I'll just get what I deserve.
Twist the knife in my head.
You would turn it till I'm dead.
Explanations,
Is all that you ask me for.
Curiosity,
Satisfaction you can't expect.
Always the same.
In Client.'s song Devotion, the singer is longing for their lover to return. They express how perfect it feels when they are together, but the heavy guilt that they feel when they are apart. The singer confesses to lying to their partner, trying to protect themselves. However, they are haunted by the tears that their lover sheds when they are apart, realizing the gravity of their actions. The fear of loneliness and regret consumes the singer, as they realize that giving everything up for someone else will inevitably lead to solitude when they are gone. Despite this, the singer seems to accept the consequences of their actions, feeling that they deserve to be hurt. The last two lines, “Twist the knife in my head. You would turn it till I'm dead” highlight the idea of self-punishment and the feeling of deserving pain, even if it is inflicted by the person they love.
The song may be interpreted in different ways, but it seems to depict the complex emotions of guilt, regret, and self-punishment that can arise in a romantic relationship. The singer seems to acknowledge their faults but sees no escape from their actions. The partner's role is secondary in the song, but their tears and the singer's fear of being alone indicate that they may have been hurt by the singer's actions. The repetition of “always the same” at the end of the song may suggest a sense of resignation or acceptance of the cyclical nature of relationships.
Line by Line Meaning
Can you come back?
Asking the person to come back because life feels perfect when they're around.
It feels so perfect when you're here.
Explaining how life feels when the person is around.
And when you're gone
the guilt is too heavy for me to bear.
Feeling guilty when the person leaves and unable to handle the weight of that guilt.
I keep lying to your face
only trying to safe myself.
Being deceitful to protect oneself and lying right to the person's face.
And all the tears that you shed,
are going to hunt me in my bed.
Knowing that the person's tears will haunt and distress them deeply.
Giving everything you have
is giving yourself up right away.
Giving everything to someone means sacrificing oneself entirely.
You'll be living in solitude.
The past will not make up with you.
Giving everything to someone could lead to loneliness and difficulty reconciling with past actions.
But that's alright.
I'll just get what I deserve.
Coming to terms with receiving consequences for one's actions.
Twist the knife in my head.
You would turn it till I'm dead.
Feeling like the person is willing to hurt them even to the point of death.
Explanations,
Is all that you ask me for.
Feeling like they're always being interrogated and asked for explanations by the person.
Curiosity,
Satisfaction you can't expect.
Feeling like the person is always curious but can never find true satisfaction.
Always the same.
Feeling like the same patterns and behaviors keep repeating themselves.
Contributed by Jasmine I. Suggest a correction in the comments below.