CocknBullKid is a pseudonym of Anita Blay (b. Hackney, London, UK to Ghanai… Read Full Bio ↴CocknBullKid is a pseudonym of Anita Blay (b. Hackney, London, UK to Ghanaian parents - aka theCocknBullKid). She has spent the past four years exploring all manner of influences (from Moz to Madonna, M.I.A to Little Richard), forging a distinctive sound. This exploratory period, included several released as TheCocknBullKid - its end was marked an 'official name-change' and the release of 7" "One Eye Closed" (Moshi Moshi, 8 Nov 2010), with Joe Cross & Jason Beck (Canadian musician, aka Gonzales & Chilly Gonzales). Her debut album, "Adulthood" was released on 23 May 2011.

Her second single "Hold On To Your Misery" again involved Chilly Gonzales, as co-writer.

CocknBullKid’s style, it should be said, resides firmly on the dark side of pop. There’s an almost Trojan quality to it - Anita’s ever-expanding repertoire is a subversive, sometimes sinister, and always sublime mix of sex, death, ugliness, wit and depravity, found amidst The Everyday and pegged onto supremely inventive pop melodies. “I’ve always thought pop should never just be saccharine” she says, “It should be black and tortured too. There’s no point otherwise.”

Having played all the major UK festivals in the summer of 2008 and headlined the BBC Introducing Stage at Glastonbury, thecocknbullkid played live on Later With Jools Holland whilst still unsigned. A rare but deserved occurrence. Anita and her three piece band then went on to support Santogold before touring with CSS, Metronomy and Late of the Pier.

Sites: Discogs & MusicBrainz

Adulthood
CocknBullKid Lyrics

Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴ Line by Line Meaning ↴

God if you really love me
You've got a funny way of showing it
Is this really it?

Is this adulthood?
Tell me when it starts
When it gets good

My father turned my mother into everything he hated
And my mother turned my father into every guy I dated
Who would've known?

Is this adulthood?
Tell me when it starts
When it gets good

Is this the beautiful life?
Well it might be yours
but it's not mine.

Is this adulthood?
Tell me when it starts
When it gets good

Is this the wonderful light?
Well it might be yours
but it's not mine

Counting down the minutes and the hours

Pulling out the petals on the flowers
Counting down the seconds to adulthood

Overall Meaning

The lyrics to CocknBullKid's "Adulthood" touch on the confusion and uncertainty that can come with growing up. The first line sets the tone as the singer questions whether or not God really loves them. The following two lines express this feeling of uncertainty, asking if what the singer is experiencing is in fact adulthood. The repetition of the question "Is this really it?" highlights the singer's doubt and desire for something more.

The second verse dives into the singer's family history, and how their parents' relationship affected their own experiences with love and dating. The line "Who would've known?" suggests a sense of surprise or inexperience with the complex emotions that come with romantic relationships.

The chorus reinforces the confusion and uncertainty of the singer's situation. They ask for someone to tell them when adulthood starts, and when it will "get good." The second half of the chorus asks if the life they are witnessing is considered beautiful or wonderful, but again, the singer asserts that it is not their experience.

The final lines of the song continue this sense of counting down or waiting for something better. Pulling out petals on flowers is a classic children's game to determine if someone loves them or not, so this line hints at the singer's desire for love and security in their life.

Line by Line Meaning

God if you really love me
I'm questioning the unconditional love from above.

You've got a funny way of showing it
Your ways of expressing this divine love are mysterious and hard to comprehend.

Is this really it?
This can't be all there is, right?

Is this adulthood?
I'm questioning if this is the much-anticipated, mature stage of life.

Tell me when it starts
I need a clear, definitive answer and not just vague clues.

When it gets good
I'm afraid that adulthood might not be as fulfilling or rewarding as I was led to believe.

My father turned my mother into everything he hated
In my parents' relationship, my father projected his negative traits onto my mother and, in turn, made her similar to the people he despised.

And my mother turned my father into every guy I dated
Similarly, when I started to date, I unconsciously sought out partners who resembled my father in some problematic ways because of my mother's influence.

Who would've known?
It's ironic and surprising how family dynamics can shape our future without us even realizing it at the time.

Is this the beautiful life?
I'm questioning if the widely accepted definition of the ideal, happy life applies to me.

Well it might be yours
Just because it works for some other people doesn't mean it applies to me.

but it's not mine.
I need to figure out my own path, even if it deviates from what others expect of me.

Counting down the minutes and the hours
I'm eagerly waiting for adulthood to arrive and bring clarity to my confusion.

Pulling out the petals on the flowers
I'm anxiously trying to predict if my future will be bright or bleak based on trivial things.

Counting down the seconds to adulthood
Every tick of the clock feels like a step closer to the grand reveal of what's waiting for me in this milestone stage of life.

Writer(s): Anita Blay, Peter Moren, Tobias Froberg Copyright: Sony/ATV Music Publishing (Scandinavia) Kb, Empire Artist Music Limited

Contributed by Charlotte B. Suggest a correction in the comments below.

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