After grinding for 10 years, working with different indie labels and flirti… Read Full Bio ↴After grinding for 10 years, working with different indie labels and flirting with fame, Cognito has found the perfect label to call home: Strange Music, one of the most successful independent music labels in the world. “They work hard like I work hard,” assures COGNITO. “They put everything into their artists.”

The dogged determination to prevail at any cost that both Strange and COGNITO share couldn't be a better match. The Fairfield, Calif.-raised father of two has poured his heart into albums, toured relentlessly, and stayed in the studio late numerous Friday nights when he could've been chilling at home with his family – all for the love of the game.

Growing up in the North Bay, COGNITO fast became intrigued with the burgeoning local hip-hop scene led by E-40 and B-Legit. The two hip-hop heavyweights exposed the young emcee to the hip-hop community, tapping his services at the Sick Wid It offices and schooling him in the art of promotion. He is the first to admit he was not the best student. But writing stories was his strong point in school. He started writing rhymes at 16, taking his cue from the people he was around. Yet it was hard to take rapping seriously as a career. A white rapper just wasn't considered normal yet. It wasn't until three years later, when Eminem's The Slim Shady LP released, that COGNITO's path became clearer.

“I don't think being a white rapper has held me back,” relays COGNITO about the always-controversial topic of the White Rapper. “It got me seen more. It got me out there. I stand out because I am white. But let my music speak for itself.”

As for the Eminem comparisons, COGNITO is flattered but suggests otherwise.

“When Eminem dropped minds were blown. I look at the Eminem comparison as an honor. He's the best rapper in game. But never once has a guy I work with said I sound like Eminem.”

At age 21 COGNITO earned himself a new title; father. In order to care for his family, he put hip-hop on the back burner for the next year, popping into the studio every so often to record tracks with producing partner D Buck. Mike Mosley, who had worked with E-40, TQ, C-Bo, Richie Rich and Tupac, heard COGNITO's music, and in 2002, offered him a deal with his Steady Mobbin' label.

“When Mike wants to offer you a record deal,” COGNITO states, “you take your career serious.”

COGNITO never dropped an album, but he did make a handful of important connections in the industry, one being QD3 producer Femi, one of the two producers he still consistently works with today. He continued doing shows and brushed up on the record industry rules.

2006 was a big year for COGNITO. He hooked up with Master P and his newly formed Gutta Music to release Recognition. It was an honor to be affiliated with P, a hip-hopreneur COGNITO had admired since hearing his West Coast Bad Boyz compilation in 1997. COGNITO would score his biggest hit to date, “Shift Kits,” from the Shift Kits and Hood Chicks DVD.

COGNITO stayed busy touring with fellow Bay Area rapper Andre Nickatina. When Nickatina took some time off, COGNITO hit the road solo. As fate would have it, COGNITO and Strange shared the same booker. Together on a string of show dates, COGNITO witnessed Strange's impressive stage show and extreme professionalism. COGNITO even shared a joke with Tech: He had previously recorded over Femi's “Slacker” beat, a song that appears on Tech's Absolute Power (2002).

The groundwork for the COGNITO-Strange merger was set in motion. Three years later when hip-hop activist Violet Brown, a longtime supporter of Strange, approached COGNITO about shopping a deal to the indie powerhouse, he was with it.

One conversation with Strange Music co-owner and CEO Travis O'Guin and another with Dave Weiner, Vice President of Strange Music West, plus one visit to Kansas City, the label's home, and COGNITO knew he was home. “I know it sounds cliché, but you can do anything you want,” tells COGNITO. “My motivation has been people saying I couldn't do this. I'm hardheaded. At the end of the day, you have to go get it and no one is going to give it to you. But I look at my progression. Seeing what I'm accomplishing on my own and knowing that if I go get it, it could happen. There hasn't been a goal I shot for that I haven't achieved when it comes to my music.”

Building on his own persistence, COGNITO is quick to admit his success has been buoyed by his supportive team: Violet Brown, Femi, Mike Mosley, Darien Smith, his studio engineer for the past seven years. The 29 year old has had an amazing team behind him, which has catapulted him to where he is today. Currently, COGNITO is working on his Strange debut, Automatic, scheduled for a February/March 2010 release.

“Stylewise, I'm a storyteller,” COGNITO points out. “Whether it's a club track or a serious, depressed track, I'm going to tell you a story and get my message across to you. I like when people can relate to a song. That's what I love more than anything.”

“I don't follow trends,” he adds. “I pride myself in making my music real. I don't like to front, but I also like to have fun. Take me serious, but don't take me too serious. Listen to me with an open mind. I want to be an inspiration like my musical influences were to me.”

As COGNITO prepares for the next stage of his career, he is more than ready for the full-time grind.

“From 21 until now I have given this everything. I don't stop until I achieve my goal. With Strange backing me, I feel that I can accomplish all my goals. I got a shot like this and I'm going to run with it and make it happen.”

Whatcha Gonna Do
Cognito Lyrics

We have lyrics for 'Whatcha Gonna Do' by these artists:

112 You tell me you're keepin' it real with me You tell…
112 feat. MJG You tell me you're keepin' it real with me You tell…
2 Pac (Feat Kastro & Young Noble) Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2Pac (feat. The Outlawz) Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2PAC - BETTER DAYZ Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2Pac / Kastro / Noble Young Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2Pac feat. Kastro & Young Noble Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2pac feat. Storm And uh, I started out dumb Sprung of a hood rat…
2Pac featuring Tha Outlawz Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…

2pac ft Storm [Verse 1: 2Pac] I started out dumb, sprung off o' 'hood…
2Pac Kasbro & Young Noble Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2Pac Kastro Young Noble Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
2Pac/Kastro/Noble Young Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
Alan and The Flames Tell me what you gonna do, yeah I wanna hold your…
Alice in Chains Hey now baby whatcha gonna do when I go? Hey now…
Allan & the Flames Tell me what you gonna do, yeah I wanna hold your…
Big Pun & Hector Lavoe Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo…
Big Pun Dr. G It ain't easy Loving Me I tend to put the blinders on When…
Big Pun feat. Terror Squad Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo…
Big Pun ft. Terror Squad Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo…
Billie Yeah, thought you had me played huh? Well, check this out,…
Billy Harner Whatcha gonna do Whatcha gonna say I'm in love with you What…
Blaze Hear the crowd, live and loud Look at all of our…
Bob Dylan By Bob Dylan…
Brian McKnight Thought about it, no doubt about it When you seek you…
Chief & Deheb Its Monday Whatchu gon do wit it I'm saying that a nigga…
Chilliwack Whatcha gonna do when I'm gone? Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha go…
Chris LeDoux with Garth Brooks I can see you got your eye on this old…
Clyde McPhatter %26 The Drifters Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo-OH-OH Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo Tell me whatcha gonna…
Courtney Parker Hey yeah remember one thing as you're moving out the thing…
Cowboy Mouth St Louis, hot summer Got the sudden urge to call my…
Craig David & Artful Dodger Drop the funk, drop the base Hit it, hit it for…
CRUISE Pablo Whatcha gonna do when she says goodbye Whatcha gonna do when…
D.O.A. Hey, right Whatcha gonna do Bout whatcha gonna do? Whatch…
Danni Leigh (Kevin Welch) Where you gonna go, babe When the sun goes…
Denny Doherty Whatcha gonna do with the water? Whatcha gonna do with the…
DJ Tuniziano vs. Tupac Hell yeah And ugh I started out dumb sprung off a hood…
DMX/Jayo Felony/Method Man [Chorus] I say I can give it to you but whatcha gon…
Doa Hey, right Whatcha gonna do Bout whatcha gonna do? Whatcha g…
Dolly Spectra Oh my god You found me in the wrong I played you…
Eric Clapton Mama, mama, dem hold papa, Say they charge him fe' smoke…
FireFly Whatcha gon do, whatcha gon do, whatcha gon do, whatcha…
Fortay In the club new clothes that I wear once After this…
Foxy Brown [Intro: Young Gavin] Fox Five, let's go [Verse One: Foxy Br…
Frank McComb [Intro: Young Gavin] Fox Five, let's go [Verse One: Foxy…
George Jones What'cha gonna do when I said bye bye What'cha gonna do…
Gospel Gangstaz (Verse 1) I take time and holler at the Father, what…
Gts Feat. Rochelle Fleming 혼자로 며칠째 절심함이 강해졌어 뭔가를 하려니 워 안되네 멋진내 모습도 Today 더욱…
Hi-Flyers Tell me what you gonna do, yeah I wanna hold your…
Imelda May You've played your silly games And now I've had enough of…
Ina Forsman Shes walking with those 6 inch heels Makes it look so…
Inner City (Doo doo doo-doo) Ooh I'm wishin', boy I've got my eyes…
Jay-O-Felony Uh, uh What, what Yeah, yeah (uh) Uh-huh uh, uh Uh-huh uh, u…
Jayo Felony Dmx Method Man [Chorus] I say I can give it to you but whatcha…
Jayo Felony feat. Method Man & DMX Uh, uh What, what Yeah, yeah (uh) Uh-huh uh, uh Uh-huh uh, u…
Jayo Felony featuring Method Man & DMX [Chorus] I say I can give it to you but whatcha…
Jayo Felony Redman WC Mack 10 [Chorus] I say I can give it to you but whatcha gon…
Jones George What'cha gonna do when I said bye bye What'cha gonna do…
Jun Kung My ears are bleeding But you keep feeding Why don’t…
K-Hand What you gonna do what you want to prove I heard…
Knightowl feat Bone Thugs [Knightowl] Now what you gonna do fool What the fuck you got…
Koopsta Knicca Hand in hand Koreana [Official Seoul 1988 Olympic Games Song…
L.T.D. Never let a punk get away with murder Gun shots, gun…
Lee Curtis & The All Stars Though you don't call anymore I sit and wait in vain I…
Link And I really wanna sex your bodyAnd I really wannaAnd…
M. Doc Uh M.C Check me out, aye Every day, I wake up, and it's…
Mad Caddies Layin' awake again and I don't know what's happening I'm se…
Margaret Grace I hate to carry on this way but Where you spending…
Mark I'm gonna make you a promise Starting tonight If I never do…
Martina McBride Its either black or white Its either wrong or right You don'…
Method Man & DMX Uh, uh What, what Yeah, yeah (uh) Uh-huh uh, uh Uh-huh uh, u…
Monifah You done fucked up with this bitch Nigga lucked up with…
Mr. Lil One What you niggaz gon do Whatever you want to Whatever you…
New Riders Of The Purple Sage Dawson Watcha gonna do on the planet today Missy you're …
NGT48 人間はどうして大人になってもこんなに涙を流すのだろう？悲しみはずっとこの胸のどこかで堰き止められて消えはしないの…
Nobody's Angel (watcha gonna do?) (and i think i deserve a second chance) (…
O.G. Cell-E-Cel Hey, right Whatcha gonna do Bout whatcha gonna do? Whatcha g…
Pablo Cruise Whatcha gonna do when she says goodbye Whatcha gonna do when…
Peter Tosh Mama, mama, dem hold papa Seh dem charge him for…
Piper Yeah, thought you had me played huh? Well, check this out,…
Redman -FT- Mack 10 & WC [Chorus] I say I can give it to you but whatcha gon…
Ronnie Hawkins & The Hawks Hey there Whatcha gonna do Whatcha gonna do When you start h…
Shyne Once upon a time, not long ago When gangstas rocked waves…
Smokey Robinson Whatcha gonna do With those beautiful fingers When you strok…
Sprung Monkey Lately I've been wonderin who I am BecauSe it's coming clear…
T.I. And Maino Bout to hit the club and show my muthafuckin ass Driving…
T.U.R.F. Uh M.C Check me out, aye Every day, I wake up, and it's…
Tatiana Moroz Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? …
Teddy Douglas I hate to carry on this way but Where you spending…
Terror Squad (ft. Big Pun) Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo…
Terror Squad feat. Big Pun Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo, yo, yo Yo, yo…
The Damned and Dirty what you gonna do for the rest of your life? what…
The Hi-Flyers Tell me what you gonna do, yeah I wanna hold your…
The Lonely Biscuits I dive right into those big blue eyes and swim…
The Valdons Stop Oh child Listen Naturally the voice within me that spea…
Tim Tim Should've seen the look on the face of the boss…
Tom Jones While you're running around bawling Or playing at clubs eve…
Tyler Collins I remember when I was the center of your attention You made…
Wilbur Sweatman And His Orchestra I was talkin' to the whippoorwill He says you got a…
Zhigge I'm gonna slam, Face give em the bass and let…

We have lyrics for these tracks by Cognito:

Big Bank [Hook: repeat 4X] We got big bank, big rank walkin through t…
Born 2 Be Fly Cause I was born 2 be fly (Tech N9ne): Strange music bab…
Depression I got issues only I can have That's why I…
I Can't Think About It Day time I control my feelings, night times like a…
I'm Goin' Crazy Now that i sing with strange music the industry about to…
My Lil Girl I make her hold all my percs in her purse,…
Outcast When I think about the past of my life, and…
Pain How do you deal with the demons that seem to…
Pill Poppin' Music INTRO In my opinion, it's the music these days. These rap…
Stranger (Tech N9ne) I remember when they used to point they fingers…

Stranger (Ft. Tech N9ne Big Scoob Kutt Coulhoun Stevie Stone (Tech N9ne) I remember when they used to point they fingers…

The lyrics are frequently found in the comments by searching or by filtering for lyric videos

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Most interesting comments from YouTube:

Nig named mutt

2y↑11

When I was like 5 years old I heard some other neighbor kid say "SON OF A BITCH!" while he was trying to pull something from a creek.

Me: What's that mean?

Him: Uh.... it's a girl dog.....

5 hours later at the dinner table(totally silent moment)

Me:HEY MOM! DID YOU KNOW ANI(our new female puppy) IS A BITCH?!

She.... she wasn't too happy with that.....

Creator 290

2y↑16

Seeing everyone in the comments sections talk about their near-death experience(s) in their childhoods, I thought that I should share some too. But not near-death experiences, no, this is me being stupid.

1) How does a pencil sharpener work? Wtf knows, stick your pinky finger into the big electrical one and turn it on. Didn't realise I was bleeding and in pain until my mom pointed it out.

2) How hot is the iron, exactly? Who knows, put your middle finger on it. Ouch. Run it under tap water. I still have a bump on it til this day but I'm pretty sure that is because of my poor writing position.

3) Hang upside down on top of the... massage rocks. Okay, if you're Singaporean or perhaps even Asian like me you'd understand those massage rock roads but to everyone else just imagine really bumpy cobble roads or gravel roads with even spacing of rocks on them. And there was an iron bar. When my mom shouted my name, I dropped onto the rocks. Had to get stitches on the night of my 5th birthday lol.

I've had more experiences and scars and scars on top of scars but these are the 3 stand out ones I want to tell now.

All comments from YouTube:

ButtSolution

2y↑16.1K

When I was a kid I thought the word "pussy" was the funniest thing in the universe. Then one day my mom found out that I'd made a Sim City called "Pussyton" and she sat me down and explained what that word actually meant, and that was fucking terrible. She also forbid me from deleting the Pussyton save file until my dad got back from his military deployment so he could yell at me for it too. Pussyton was by far the greatest city I ever made in ANY Sim City game. It was a massively successful metropolis with virtually no crime and a gigantic economic output.

farley pants

my mom used to yell at me for causing a feedback loop with my toy microphone and radio. but now she does the same thing with her hearing aids and won't stop? hypocrite.

Barça 1

@tumultous tortellini Considering he became "ButtSolution" I'd say not much happened.

Magneto One

You are awesome! 😄😅😆

Antiomnis

It's just a pet name for a cat. The euphomistic use is just that - euphomistic. There aren't really any terms for the female genitalia that are non-euphomistic though. We just seem to pick a new one in an attempt to have a non-offensive word for it, then it eventually becomes an expletive, because people are dickheads and have to get offended by stupid shit.

Baronpapa

Dad was like..."pussyton...ha...lol"

151 More Replies...

Philip Johnson

2y↑4.1K

- Introduces himself
- Sends 1,000 blank text messages
- Refuses to elaborate
- Leaves

Trolmaster -

@Sipri M lmao, i understood that reference

Sipri M

2y↑6

@Trolmaster - What is male?

- I don't know, I'm not a biologist.

Howell Franzen

Giga Chad power move right there

PALACIO254

2y↑6

- Gets the babes

7 More Replies...

SickwithFlu

2y↑1.1K

"if children are the future, how come they never see it coming?"
Whoever wrote that line needs to write a book, I will read it

James Hockenberry

2y↑2

BANG

brianlimmy

2y↑12

Up there with "if space is so big, why won't it fight me"

SwordLily

2y↑2

Got me thinking bout old T Rex

Moritz R

2y↑62

Honestly, IH intros are way funnier than they have any right to be. He probably spends all 36 months between uploads just trying to think of one liners

Foehammer

2y↑716

The “do you wanna race us?” Guys were living their best live, absolute gigachads

Arinya Xori

2y↑2

Gigachads LMFAO!!!!

1 More Replies...

Da Neenja

2y↑117

I once read a book where someone had gotten "laid off" from their job. I had gotten tired of doing my chores and didn't want to do them anymore. I was in the car with my cousin, mom, and little brother, also 8 years old. I asked my mom "Mom, I wanna get laid from my chores." I still lay awake after learning what it actually means.

Kormagog the Destroyer

2y↑194

Sometimes I forget that Internet Historian isn’t a 60 year old man and is actually like 25

John Arbuckle

2y↑16

More like 30

OutOfNamesToChoose

2y↑27

He can't be if that phone story was true.

The Shuckmeister

2y↑11.2K

I can’t believe I had a childhood without this channel

Maxie Karn

Who

Kröd Mändoon

And I can't believe I never saw the No-Hypnol joke until just now.

Hollow Slayer

Dark Slayer

But my formative years as an adult is lookin preeeettttty gooood

DannyThePannyVox

I have

33 More Replies...

RiderAndKallen

2y↑31

I never had "The Talk" with my parents. I found out at age 6 when I read a book called Mommy Laid an Egg. At first I was horrified, but that only lasted an hour or so until my mind completely assembled what I had read.

Lizzifer

interesting - i asked how it all worked at age 6 and my mum read that book with me!

Chicken Broccoli Rice

2y↑2

Man I have so many stories I could tell, I never got "The Talk" either but I also found out at age 6 because I found a porn channel called Spice Network, and then later I found a hentai tape in my uncle's room at my grandma's house, the start of my crippling hentai addiction, and by age 9 I started watching porn regularly and this is around the time actual pornsites like Pornhub and Xvideos were just starting, I got caught so many times, I think "The Talk" is kind of an outdated concept because there's just so many ways for a kid to find out about sex now before their early teens, I still turned out normal...I think.

Chloroplast ✔

Oviposition

Thomas Moroney

2y↑432

My "saying bad words in front of parents accidentally" story: I had called my mother "toots" once because I though it was a cool/endearing way to refer to women. I was wrong. She made sure I knew it...

Chicken Broccoli Rice

But cartoons say "toots" all the time.

Nig named mutt

2y↑11

Michael mayne

Actually we all call her that

Michael mayne

2y↑3

Why is toots bad. My buddy calls his 2 yr old daughter that

Sparky Parky

2y↑8

“Thanks for the choccy milk, sweet lips”

3 More Replies...

Em

2y↑57

I like how ManyKudos doesn’t say “my dad,” but instead just “dad,” as if he is all of our collective dad

Skylark Landing

2y↑213

When my brother was a toddler, my mom's cousin tried to teach him "open" and "shut".
Which my brother repeated as "open" and "shit".
Mom responded with "you couldn't have just taught him 'closed', could you?"

Even better was the time my dad dropped something, nearly swore, but corrected himself in time to "shoot".
And my brother replied "you mean 'shit' daddy, that's what you say when you drop things!"

Chloroplast ✔

Funny

NightDocs

2y↑4.2K

Props to Barry. The hero we all deserve

Brad Miles

2y↑2

Barry, give yourself a raise.

1 tomuch

2y↑1

WHATS UP NIGHTDOCS

SrSpankems

2y↑10

What a great comment. (^Put this comment in the next video Barry)

Doppleganger1016

2y↑14

@Torcularis Barry throw in another wolf job!

Yoshi Dinono

Meh.

3 More Replies...

Hazsch

2y↑35

I love how we go from “childhood” to “you are the worlds gayest man” to “NEARLY DYING”

M

2y↑9

let's pay dues to this man for spending millions on those incredibly valuable, unique, and expensive nft's, all for a short 1 minute bit. this must be the most expensive youtube video ever created.

it's not like you can just screen capture them.

....right?

Mekova

2y↑183

My whole sex talk consisted of my deadbeat dad calling me and asking "So son, uh... do you know what sex is?" randomly at 7PM on a Tuesday.
I said "Um, yeah. I'm pretty aware of it."
He went "Oh good" and we never went any further than that. Thanks daddio.

mejor no

2y↑4

@Dorvuzak Uzn eh, sounds way cooler than it was. I remember it as so straightforward, to put it in a way, that my first question was if people had to wax in order for sex to happen. I wasn't impressed or grossed out, just... Really confused by the mechanics.

mejor no

2y↑3

@Soviet Onion lol thanks for the nightmares

Dorvuzak Uzn

2y↑2

@mejor no damn, that's actually cool

James Harding

2y↑1

Sounds about the same as mine. Took a look at the packet from 6th grade health class, told me not be be an idiot, and that was that.

3 More Replies...

McYeddi

2y↑4

The story ManyKudos tells of him falling in the water tree hole was....honestly terrifying.

Blue

2y↑4.8K

Mr. Editor, I commend you for putting up with their bullshit shenanigans so we can enjoy this wonderful entertainment. Just know that it never goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

Blue

2y↑2

@Jaina Mormont He has since hired an editor for his Incognito Mode videos. I can't say for certain if he also does the main channel videos, but I'm sure he's a big part of their production.

So I'm here to give thanks for a job well done.

Jaina Mormont

He does it all himself. There's a few videos where he shows us "the making of" to explain why it takes him so long to upload.

RobbyB3ll4s

Please

Jonathan Schneider

2y↑1

@Joinsideke Uncle Barry is a top bloke

Joinsideke

2y↑1

Barry is the real MVP

18 More Replies...

Dysnomia Alvey

2y↑14

So, my parents weren't around a whole lot as a kid, and my sister acted as my mother for most of my early childhood. One day, she and I were out playing in the yard, when I picked up our rake and I playfully threatened her with it. Now, for this to make sense, you must understand that I have some audio/language processing issues that largely stem from me being autistic, and in my mind I replaced the "k" in "rake" with a "p," and ended up yelling at my sister "I'M GONNA R*** YOU" and my god I don't think I've experienced an atmosphere sour that fast before or since that day. My sister was thankfully not as nasty about it as she COULD have been, but man it still haunts me to this day.

Creator 290

2y↑16

Tony

2y↑4

I asked my dad at the dinner table in front of the whole family what a vagina was cuz I had heard it in the cable guy movie I think. I got sent to my room lol… still trying to figure it out

Ben McReynolds

2y↑7

Random: I literally had a moment in highschool where I'm chatting with my friends, guys/girls talking about shampoo somehow? I just mentioned my favorite, and everyone was like WTF? It was that day I learned that I did it all in the wrong order. I conditioned my hair 1st, then shampooed my hair 2nd. My entire life, until I was 16.

ManyKudos

2y↑6.7K

At this point I’m pretty much a pro at being pulled out of wet holes

DAVE OG fans

I guess people could've said "hey, ManyKudos isn't a sidekick! He is a creator in his own right." but in stead people called Sumito a better sidekick.

Benjamin

And getting punched cosplaying as Mario..

Kit Jaspering

Can you teach me how to be cool?

Brandon Rodgers

Dude. I had reoccuring nightmares as a small child of exactly your hole experience. I could not swim and in my dreams I drowned. I told my older brother about this and he just looked at me and said, "you float, just climb out" He had made my literal worst nightmare seem so trivial. Lol

Railerik

This explains a lot! This traumatic experience is why you've never dared to go into a wet hole since childhood.

33 More Replies...

Freg

2y↑8

When i was about 15 there was this freak storm with crazy strong winds.
When it started my stepdad was like “SHIT THE LAUNDRY” so i had to run outside and take the clothes off the clothesline, completely blinded by the wind. I was almost done when i heard this deafening CRACK and for a split second i could make out a shadow in the sky. On pure instinct i just booked it to the other side of the yard. Something grazed my head and shoulder whilst i ran. I kept running til the noise stopped.
I turned around and theres a whole ass shed on my clothesline.

So yeah thats the story of how I was almost decapitated by a flying shed.

Some randomnEss Poo

2y↑44

When I was a kid, I would play tycoon games especially zoo tycoon, I would often have an angry guest corner where I would put all the angry guests in, the idea being they can't leave with a bad review, but I never took care of the place and it would always be covered in trash and throwup or whatever and the guests would run out of money for food. Of course if they were happy again they could leave, but this never happened.
If I was feeling too lazy to go to the angry guest corner I would find other means of getting rid of them, my favorite being putting them in the T-Rex pit.

My mom considered sending me to therapy over this.

SwordLily

2y↑2

My mom only cared that I could eat a family Chex while playing, but if she did she would be relieved that my brother made the death coasters and I made the capitalist utopia traps in RCT. Ah, yes, rain. 5 dollars for an umbrella, you betcha you cheap bastards.

Vihara2

2y↑6

videogame gulags lmao

whatstdiggn

2y↑35

I learned to swim on holiday in Hawaii at the hotel pool when I was 2. My first vivid memory is trying to swim underneath the waterfall that came out of a landscaping feature near the edge of the pool. There was a cool "cave" behind it or so 2 year old me assumed. I also assumed the falling water was I guess 1 inch thick and didn't have any weight or force. I got stuck trying to swim up into the waterfall like the world's worst salmon. It felt like I tried to push against the water for minutes. I know I got at least half of a lung full of water. My dad noticed I was stuck underneath the waterfall and with one hand like the incredible freaking hulk picked me up and tossed me onto a reclining lounge. I coughed up water as he whooped me and told me the "Tabonga" was going to get me now and it lived behind the waterfall. Then that night a Hawaiian tiki idol appeared in my hotel room. I was so terrified of a 5 dollar souvenir until my early teens it's not even funny.

Kody Wilson

2y↑6

It is pretty funny.

Yamcha Kippur

2y↑7

One time when I was 6 or 7, I was playing with two of my friends on a hill. We all thought riding wagons down the hill was the best, but there was only one and it could only fit two of us. I was the smallest one and we realized that I could fit on a Tonka dump truck. After one or two trips down the hill on a metal toy truck, we decided we were going to race each other. I lost the first one, because my two buddies in the wagon could go much faster, so we decided that I could get a head start. I started down the hill, but then I fell off the Tonka truck. I then heard, "look out!" before feeling two really heavy thumps across my back. I then looked down the hill to the see the wagon that had just ran me over sharply turn left and my two friends getting launched out of it. Somehow, none of us broke any bones.

Somebody You Never Knew

2y↑2.2K

I hope the editor is appropriately compensated for the torture they endure.

Lee Roy

Don't worry, he isn't

Pro Pain And Pro Pain Accessories

2y↑1

Gets enough Exposure to feed himself and his family

Bobfrey Joniam

@whitewolf262 apparently he edits the main channel

Bilbosilius Zwackelbaggins

2y↑8

For what these poor editors have went through I think that the compensation being offered is not commensurate.

KeiosKod

2y↑5

They get a free 1-year subscription to NORD VPN!

8 More Replies...

Sours

2y↑62

when i was a kid i heard my mom say "jesus christ" as a swear and decided i wanted a word like that i could say too. but i didn't want to say anything that sounded silly, i wanted it to sound real. so i somehow settled on the word "fuck". so then i'm at this girl scout bridging ceremony, and we're getting ready to go in to do the ceremony, and i get handed this lit candle. a bit of wax drips on my hand, and i'm like "oh this is the perfect time to say my special word", so i say "fuck". and i don't remember what the woman helping me said, but she was so mad i didn't swear again until high school (i was maybe 7 when this happened). i remember being so confused as to how she knew my special word.

Thinkiny Blinko

2y↑1

That's wild

Cartifan69SLATT

2y↑4

My near death experience was when I was sledding when I was like 4, anyways we were at this absolutely massive hill with a running river about 20 feet from the small orange fence that was supposed to prevent people from going into the river. Long story short, the fence didn’t do it’s job. I shot through the little plastic fence at Mach 5 and hit a few branches and landed in the river, luckily my dad scooped me out of the river, but it was still scary

R'lyeh the Dead

2y↑83

Not really funny but when I was like 7, I went to the bowling alley with my dad. While he was getting our lane sorted, I went to the arcade. 2 guys wearing tan trench coats tried to convince me to leave with them and when I said no, they started walking towards me. I ran to my dad and never saw them again. I didn't tell him what happened until after we left. I'm glad my face was never on a milk carton :)

Chunky Tomato Soup

2y↑39

Bro you almost got taken out of the matrix

Chunky Tomato Soup

2y↑19

Discovered the word panties in elementary when I was adding “-ies” to any word I could think of to see what sticks. My friend says to me “isn’t that for girls?” And I was real confused because anyone could wear pants.

Alexey Saranchev

2y↑3

the word 'pantyhoes' still confuses me.

Infinity

2y↑37

Imagine NOT hearing the two magical words, Majora's Mask mentioned in literally ANY video titled "Childhood"... Thanks for keeping it real as always, mah boiis. <3

Ian Carter

2y↑1

Honestly, so happy to be alive in this time of total media freedom. I can’t imagine what it was like when I was a kid anymore, when what was on tv was it. Things have definitely improved. I.H. Love the videos and I don’t mind waiting for quality of this magnitude, sir, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

Suicidal Panda

2y↑1

I know it sucks to say this considering the effort, but love these way more than the main channel. I often re-watch them like podcast or just by themselves. Its just more comfey I suppose.

Chris Hiss

2y↑1

Hey, you should just keep these up, literal gold. Don't worry about it. Surprised at the re-watch-ability. Kudos. Just watched the myths one, just great,

Mark Goddin

2y↑2K

A moment of silence for all the noise “Barry” has to wade through for these videos. We love you, Editor!!

U. Flame

2y↑1

@Partack He does streams now! And they're so delightful

Igami Iomi

2y↑2

Barry add barry beebenson in saying you like jazz in the corners of the screen

B. Elzebub

2y↑8

@Partack RIP Berry. He was a good editor.

8 More Replies...

Big Mode

2y↑1

Anyone else find that anything IH makes is incredibly rewatchable? Like this has only been out for 5 days and yet I'm on my third listen

monkeywolfe

2y↑5

That ending was flawless. Good job, Barry.

A Kiri Anbu

2y↑1

I just remember my prom being so awkward, it was like half of an entire ballroom that mind you was only lit in the center and all the corners of this ballroom work pitch black and dark with no decorations, it was like as if they were preparing us for some dark bloody ritual it was genuinely unpleasant, all the food was this nasty preheated freezer bag food you'd get at Costco and deep down I really wish it was because it wasn't even that, oh yeah there was live betta fish in these little fish bowls and some kid went to the f**** hospital after trying to swallow three of them at once.

TheNewRobotMaster

2y↑3.1K

Ah yes all the staples of childhood: near death experiences, going to the school dance, deer farm...

Derek Dill

2y↑3

one of my fondest memories is fertilizing the egg

Walter Rising

The reason there are so many who whine like it's their living is because they never had a proper childhood like that

Nicholas

2y↑4

Deer farm WITH near death experiences no less..

Eazy Buxafew

2y↑2

I lost it at deer farm. All composure out the window!!

4 More Replies...

Ümläüt Äbüsër

2y↑2

I remember my "nearly dying" story:

When I was 6, I went to my grandma's apartment. My cousins, both around my age, were there. One of them had this really bright idea: the couch in the living room is pretty bouncy, so why don't we jump on it? What could possibly go wrong? So all three of us are jumping on a couch and then I suddenly get launched head-first straight in a sharp corner of a table across the room. The only things I remember after that are blood, lots of it, and a bus trip with my mom to the er. At that time I was not worried about what happened or would happen, I was just afraid that dad would be disappointed in me.

That was also the story of how I got my first scar.

Gomace

2y↑1

When he started talking about the cliff, I remembered when I fell down from a tree, and couldn't stop laughing at the relatability of it, haha.

Omfg, both of them told relatable stories, no way. When he fell into the water hole, I got reminded of the time I fell into a manhole, haha.

Flibber Nodgets

2y↑3

I had "the talk" at age seven when my friend told me a dirty joke. I went home and asked my mom what was funny about it, because I didn't get it. Not only did I learn more about the world than I ever wanted to know, the joke wasn't even funny.

Emerald Dragon

You remember the joke?

scorpious1109

2y↑9

When I was a kid this Daycare I was at took a field trip to some camp grounds. We were roasting hotdogs for lunch and we were using these metal spits. The adults said to get one of them to remove the hotdog because the metal rods were really hot. Mine was done, but all the adults were busy. So of course, I think, "well how hard can it be to take the hotdog off the stick without burning myself?" I go to do just that and somehow end up pinching the hot metal rod with my fingers and burning myself. That was the last time I ever underestimated the complexity of a task.

Generic Human

2y↑1.9K

It appears IH has remembered all his passwords simultaneously. Hope we get some more content on this channel. It's always hilarious af

RockSolitude

2y↑1

Yes I'm hopeful we get at least another video this year.

AE1_

2y↑2

yes

Flow

2y↑6

@Jake Goodyear Dashlane moment

Jake Goodyear

2y↑24

All thanks to Nordpass woman

Sweet Margonade

2y↑46

He found the sticky note he wrote them all down on XD

Moab Frican

2y↑6

Not knowing what it meant, I heard a friend's older brother say testicles one time, and in front of my parents and sister i yelled: "It's a TESTICLE FESTIVAL!!" . Next thing i remember was picking myself up off the ground with dad standing above me going "Bet you're gonna think next time you use a word you dont know the meaning of!" Heh, I'll show you pops ...

Louise Nicolson

2y↑2

"Testicle Festival" should be the new name for a Bar Mitzvah

Taco Dude

I've always been told how i could have died several times throughout my childhood and some how never did, like when i was first born fresh out the womb and i just got tangled in the umbilical cord and nearly hung myself, or the time i was in daycare and stood too close to another kid that was swinging an old plastic bat and heading surgery, one time i guess i just walked by some wild animals (allegedly according to my parents) they never have told me what but they bring it up often, and the time i just kinda fell off my grandparents porch (they're porch is rather high up, a tad higher than the second floor)

Ending statement: kids are fucking idiots but also god damn immortal

Newax

2y↑2

I remember back when i was 11, my family was organizing christmass, while i was in my room playing around with a piece of cheap metalic jewelry, some kind of bracelet with beads, or something of this sorts. I saw an outlet, and in my brain i thought to myself "Hey, those beads are just the perfect size to fit inside the holes in the outlet! I bet this is what this bracelet is actually for!", and i started Shoving the entire thing into the outlet. The next thing went similarly to how IH described it in the video, i saw a very brief flash of light, then it was darkness, then i woke up on the floor, with my family surrounding me. I think i was too shocked to outright start crying, but i did feel like a car hit me afterwards.

Sharkke Bunni

2y↑1

Editor is a saint, good on you for dealing with those two. Can't end the suffering but here's hoping they stop clipping nails during a recording.

Cheng Teoh

2y↑1.9K

Ah, so condoms are the reason bananas aren't reproducing like they use to. 😆

Nanonymous

That's why bananas reproduce asexually

Draexian

I've got samonella.

AnotherTallBruv

lol

Shnood

2y↑4

@bla bla bla the infamous hacker 4chan?

bla bla bla

2y↑7

@overlookers Who is this 4chan? And why does he hate bananas so much?

11 More Replies...

Rose

This one time, as a wee child, I teased my little sister to the point where she was chasing me around the house.

So I ran and "hid" behind mommy dearest and yelled with a grin "Help, help me! She's raping me!". Don't know why I said that exact word, I guess it was new and all I knew about it was that it meant "something violent".
Mommy dearest, however, turned around and smacked me across my face and yelled at me never to say that word ever again. Killed the mood instantly. Apart for my older brother in the other room, who was rolling on the floor, wheezing.

She never did say what the word actually meant.
Eventually I found out though, several years later.

Kakyoin Noriaki

2y↑7

Ah yes, the corner stone of every childhood.

Nearly dying

Funnily enough, I actually had a similar experience to Kudos. When I was about 5, my dad was digging this large pit he was going to use for compost.

And of course, eventually it rained. And my dumb ass brain wanted to use the pit to play with my boats. So that’s what I did, and of course I fell in, and thrashed around a bit before I yanked myself out.

MegaTech81

2y↑1

At this point, I'm not even sure if he's still being sponsored by Nord or if he's just doing it for the lulz

Hoya Guru

2y↑1

The editor of these videos deserves a freaking Oscar or something, he's a freaking genius!

Operator Delta

2y↑5.3K

As a Mexican, Nordman most helpful tip is "Don't live in Mexico". Thanks Nordman for your helpful knowledge.

Kev

@Carlos Hernandez 🎶en Las calles de tijuana paresen infiernoo🎶 yayaiiii

Fabio Mora

@Hey_ItsAngel sincuerdo

Hey_ItsAngel

Concuerdo

Garfield Lasagna

Don't come here

49 More Replies...

JonDoh

I had an incident related to learning bad words. The mother of one of my friends was trying to tell me and my brother that the middle finger was a rude gesture. We both thought it was the most ridiculous thing we ever heard. How can one of our fingers be rude? What kind of bizarro world was this lady from? So we both kept flipping everyone and everything off because we thought it was funny how worked up she was getting. Our parents had to explain it to us afterwards that it was a real thing.

KaeYoss

The only sort of text messages that existed during my childhood were letters and telegraphs. Though fax became a thing during the end I think.

Telephones were also limited to houses or specialiced booths.

Alex 5432

2y↑4

When I was a kid I loved christmas lights, I learned everything about them, how they worked... When I was like 12, I had a similar episode where I was switching the lights, because when 1 isn't working the whole chain doesn't work, and they were on because it was easy to do with them on so you can see exactly where is the one that doesn't work, and it was wet because it had rained, and I was barefoot... so what happened was in a moment I'm switching the light, the other I was faling to the ground e.e I passed out for like half a second...

Ttamlin

Y'all just sparked a long-lost memory for me. First time I almost died (that I remembered), I was like 4 or 5, visiting family on the other side of the country. At my uncle's lake house, out on their dock, playing with a big sheet of foam, maybe neoprene? Something like that. Anyways, I was waving it in the air, using my whole-ass little body to flop it up and down, make it slap the water, when lo and behold, I fuckin' fell in. No life vest, unable to swim, and last time I'd checked, totally alone out there. I remember looking up and seeing the way the sunlight played down through the surface of the water, I can still picture it in my mind to this day, and I'm almost 40 now.

Fortunately, my uncle was nearby enough that he saw what happened, because he's at least a semi-responsible adult, and he rushed over and pulled me out by my hair, which was a minor feat because my hair wasn't all that long, maybe a few inches. I don't remember that, not vividly, I just remember playing, falling in, and the way the light played through the ripples.

So yeah. Thanks for bringing that up again!

Kevin

2y↑1.8K

The worst part about the texting story is that this was back when a lot of cell plans still had per-message fees for receiving text messages as well as sending.

Edit: there seems to be some confusion. This was how many monthly cell phone plans in the US worked, and I believe it was a holdover from the days when SMS was a pager thing. The time period I'm thinking of was from whenever pagers started to be a thing up until the late 00's, at which point I know lots of people still had these plans in the US even if the companies weren't offering them as new plans. It was also the kind of thing that were a part of a lot of cell plans that many people didn't actually know about until the first time they went over their monthly amount and got slapped with an insane bill. So this might have been in one of your cell plans and you just never knew it. I also know that back in the day there were people who would seriously fuck someone else over by sending them an obscene amount of texts via email or a chat client that would talk to SMS to cost then a lot of money or at least max out their plan so they couldn't receive anymore for the rest of the month.

kavky

2y↑1

In Romania in the early 2000s the two major networks had a special offer of unlimited minutes, texts, and internet bandwidth from 8PM to 8AM with no extra charge. So even for the cheapest phone and internet plan you could talk and game from sundown to sunrise like a maniac. The LAN parties are what I miss the most about those days.

FIRST NAME LAST NAME

2y↑1

@first name last name haha nice name...and yah my first cellphone had it in like 2014-2015ish.

KraliMishev

@Asher It's pretty useful when you don't want your phone being traced to you, or so I've been told.

first name last name

2y↑1

Phones still have this now. :(

Bready Player Bun

2y↑4

@Wingi Canada too. If America has a bad, customer hating idea, you better believe the leafs are on board.

9 More Replies...

Popotato

2y↑8

The phone one, happened to me a couple years ago with a friend of a friend from a different grade, but it was'nt the first time and that's why she gave me her number in the first place, cuz i was showing to my friend that my phone called people randomly and was charging itself out of the blue, she joined the conv and found it funny af, so when she got 12 calls, we just ignored it (literally went like: "sorry xd" - "dont worry LMAO".

Popotato

2y↑2

And we never talked again tho, she changed school so... xd

Shia Lebeouf: Life Coach

2y↑8

Legends say Many Kudos still goes to High-School Formals.

Miroku Gaming

2y↑71

Nordon getting comfy into bed and slowly sobbing is hitting a little too close to home IH…

CriiRye

I'd watch the Penn & Teller show "Bullshit" with my parents. Without thinking one time, I said the name when they asked what we should watch. I ended up arguing that its a proper noun and the name of the show, therefore its not a swear word. They caved and said fine. I then promptly went around saying bullshit in school and then when a teacher would try to yell at me, I'd say I'm merely talking about a show.

Ipsolus

2y↑3K

I remember seeing a PSA as a kid that essentially said "Dont run with scissors, you'll fall and cut yourself". I laughed like, yeah right TV, scissors cut paper, not people.
So that's how I ended up stabbing my arm trying to prove the TV wrong

kirby 64

in preschool i was told "dont walk with scissors blade-up because you could trip and fall and the scissors could land in your eye" and that gave me such gruesome imagery that hasnt left my mind to this dad lol

Maeve

One time I purposely cut myself with safety scissors because I thought it wouldn’t be possible because they were crafted for ultimate safety (I was like 4 or 5)

TransRoofKorean

That was a pretty good Weird Al album.

Hunde

LMAO

inkublu

@Ja C I'm so glad the way they're designed in my country makes that kinda difficult or impossible

18 More Replies...

Steven

When I was a wee lad (5 or 6 I think) I was swimming in the ocean when I got caught by what I now know was a riptide. I remember being dragged a short distance as I scrabbled along the sand and somehow caught a rock to hold onto not much wider than my hand. I had to hold onto it until the current stopped scared out of my mind underwater. Luckily I was wearing my floaty vest (it looked like a checkered flag cause I was a winner!) And I popped right back up. Then I got in trouble for "swimming out too far" because the adults hadn't noticed what happened. I respect the water very much now, but I still swim. Just not in the ocean.

Aikano9

Speaking of near death experiences, I once nearly re-enacted the pencil scene from the dark knight. Had one of those pens that stand upright in a pen holder placed in the middle of the desk, I was leaning forward to reach something at the back of my desk, and my 35kg (~80lbs) chair tipped forward banging my head into the desk knocking me out cold for a few hours, a few centimeter further left and I’d be dead.

Ethan Gray

2y↑1

Oh my good that bit at the end about editing for him made me crease up, I couldn’t stop laughing from all of the requests for the editor to do. 10/10

Diego Marquez

Probably my one near death experience would be when I was like 5 playing in a construction site. I was on the top of a flight of stair cases that led nowhere just chucking stones down the steps until I took one step too far and end up falling 15 feet and breaking my leg over a piece of rubble. I could have easily shattered my spine or cracked my skull and died that day the more I think about it lmao

Got a wicked scar on my thigh from the surgery tho!

Delnike

Mexican here, I cannot emphasize enough how true the “don’t live in Mexico” tip is

Galactic -Hamster

I learned what the word 'c*nt' meant in the fifth grade, my friend and I were looking through memes after like, play practice in our schools library and the word came up (this is like, peak 2014 humor too so) and I blurted it out thinking I'd get either a laugh or a definition- my friend slaps me and says not to say it, bc the librarian was sitting like 50 feet away- so I ask what it means (after saying it out loud about 3 more times, just to confirm) and I was pronptly told that my friend had once said it out loud and her mom grounded her. To this day I still dont say it

Gena Jok

Petition to put Micheal Reeves on "In the field". He is a fan of Internet Historian and they both have very good uploading schedule.

Zephyr Prime

I can't believe you didn't talk about losing your mom in the store, that's like the most traumatic thing you can experience as a child.

n b

2y↑1.2K

I can't believe IH would screenshot hundreds of hard-bought NFTs just for a gag at the beginning. it's almost as bad as that time he ruined that bowl of spaghetti in Cost of Concordia.
I'm crying and shaking rn

A Professional Gamer

@The Inspector SEETHE

Zach

2y↑1

@The Inspector your confirmation on a post that is making fun of cryptbros already is pointless, though. It adds nothing.

Zorro9129

2y↑4

@The Inspector I like it when IH makes fun of NFTs without being preachy, but at this point the people railing against them are more annoying than NFT pushers themselves.

The Inspector

2y↑6

@Zach i havent missed it. I just always confirm that NFTs SHOULD and MUST be pirated. Jokes are jokes, but the message still needs to be sent.

Zach

2y↑6

@The Inspector you missed the joke

7 More Replies...

Valthorix

2y↑8

I got clotheslined by an electric fence once while sledding down a hill. Apparently from my mother's perspective the boots I was wearing went about ten feet in the air and the only thing she could think was "Oh god I hope his feet aren't still in there". I also had a tree dropped on me while riding an ATV.

Alex Leiva

2y↑35

I'm trying to calculate IH's age.
-So the fact that he was walking around and falling off cliffs with no adults around The Goonies style means that his childhood was 70-80's.
-Going to Uni while having a brick Nokia phone means early to mid 2000's.

After running a few numbers on a napkin I can assure you that the Internet Historian is approximately:
37 years old.

Debany Doombringer

2y↑1

You could send free texts in 93 as long as you shared the same provider. The text keyboard that slides out of the phone was in 1996 (I had one), and texting between providers began in 1999. My family was always really into tech stuff so I tended to be one of the first to use new stuff. We were like that because my mom worked with computers since they were punch card types that took up a whole room. There was 160 character limit which is why text speech became a thing. That and because a lot of the first users were internet geeks and l33t speech got carried over too.

Alex Leiva

@Let's Not yeah pretty much. Kids are monitored 24/7 nowadays

Let's Not

2y↑1

@Talimorph obviously fake story

Talimorph

@Let's Not I know we’re joking here, but someone I knew from high school (graduated about 3 years ago) fell off a cliff while on a hiking trip recently. Did not survive. Cliffs are scary af

Let's Not

2y↑3

@B. SR nah, nah, cliffs are still there, you just can't fall of one

3 More Replies...

Eclectic Sheep

2y↑6

In third grade I shouted “hey Michael! Would you rather be pissed off or pissed on!?” And I immediately got in trouble. And my teacher said “Do you know what that means?!” And I totally did but in that moment I realized that I could totally throw my parents under the bus and face no consequences so I was like “nnnoooo….”

Bloosjen

2y↑549

Barry you are a real one.

You should make IH look more and more disheveled every video as recompense for his sloppy work.

Richard Cheese

2y↑4

1SmokedTurkey1 and professionals have standards.

1SmokedTurkey1

2y↑9

Barry is a pro

Dirk Bastardrelief

"This was back in the day when phones had to be locked... [They had] buttons!" Unlike today's touchscreens which never butt-dial or play random crap. God I miss buttons. Here's me driving to grandma's house:

"colon hyphen zero space space tilde space tilde space tilde space less-than equals equals equals eight"

ph33r house

2y↑21

Since everyone else is sharing stories, I'll give someone one of mine. I can relate to the adrenaline wearing off.
I was playing on the treadmill with my little brother. I set it to 4 miles, and then try to run with it. I could normally run 4 miles, so it won't be that bad. I wasn't prepared for it though, so it launched me out of the treadmill. I bounced off of the wall, which was right behind the treadmill, and somehow ended up underneath the treadmill. I was screaming and crying, trying to get my brother to help me. He was shocked and had no idea what to do, so he just ran up to tell parents. I somehow got out of it, and at first I wasn't crying, even though there was a giant open wound that was burning but then out of nowhere it starts hurting like hell.
It's honestly very interesting seeing other people's stories. I guess it's because it allows me to get a glimpse into other people's lives (not in a creepy way). I'm not too sure.

Dark Star King

My dad had the “sex talk.” With me while he had a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from a fresh visectomy he just got that day. Yea.

E F

When I was a kid my dad told me off for saying "asked", I think I pronounced it like "arsed' but I couldn't tell the difference and didn't know why he was mad, he kept saying it was swearing, I very confused kept saying it wasn't and got more and more embarrassed. I tried pronouncing it differently like "asKed" but he was still mad and to this day I'm too afraid to say "asked" out loud

Pupsker

2y↑1K

That Final Fantasy summon really got me.

domenica

2y↑1

That mini cutscene with Ifrit vs Bahamut was lit af

roy chong

2y↑3

@Cordial Comet NOX DIVINA from Final Fantasy XV

Cordial Comet

2y↑3

what was that song?

Serotonin Scavenger

2y↑7

Hey.... What's your favorite wiferame

Spades Neil

I felt so bad for you when you said you started crying a few minutes later. Like if that happened to a friend of mine I'd just offer to hug it out. I know what it's like to be that shook.

Nojuan Atall

I helped a friend move to another city a few hours away. We planned to go to the beach the next day. That morning my friends mother told us she had a dream that I got pulled by an undertow and died. So we go to the beach and we are walking on this rock pier. I slipped on some moss and my friend grabbed me before I slipped in. That pier is known to have undertows around it. He said he stayed near me because of his mother's dream.

Ninjaguiden89

2y↑3

My closest death experience was sitting on a stairway railing, leaning back and forth on it like a dumbass. Eventually I tip forward and smack right into the concrete stairs with my face. Somehow I only got bruises but I still think about how I could have easily died, lost one eye or crippled myself in so many horrible ways...

HSenpai

"The oldest squid game"
I don't need to be drunk to appreciate this level of humor

Jolly Green Giant

2y↑951

"What's the closest you've come to dying?"

As a child, I lived in South Carolina. One day me and my friend thought it would be a great idea to play with an Alligator. It was super chill and let us pet it and stuff, but still not my smartest moment.

theRPGmaster

@Argo I don't really speak a lot of Finnish, but I live here anyway. It's difficult learning the language when everyone is criticizing you. I'm Swedish, for context. Anyway, I'm glad you didn't drown! I know too many people who made that mistake, and it could happen to anyone, even myself

Eris Mason

@Jolly Green Giant Larry sounds incredibly intelligent.

- LibertyPrimeV1 -

@L. Wolf that's not even half of it, at that time it was a Fairly Severe Ingestion Allergy but like I mentioned it's progressed into a much worse form.
There's Ingestion Allergy which is when you only have a reaction from eating or inhaling the agitator, then Contact Allergy when there's a reaction from Skin Contact with the agitator, and lastly Airborne Allergy which is when even just being in the immediate vicinity of the agitator can cause a reaction.
But then after that there's the severity of the Allergy that is the deciding factor on if you just need some benadryl and sleep or need to be smacked with an EpiPen and rushed to the hospital which for most cases can be classified as Low, Mild, and Severe Allergies.
(In my case my Peanut Allergy progressed from Fairly Severe Ingestion to an at the time Uncalculably High Airborne Allergy, went to a friend's football game when I was around 7 and some discarded Peanut Shells 4 Bleachers away from me triggered a reaction which is how we found out it progressed that far...)

Michael Carter

Mine have been pretty stupid and far more than I can remember. The three closest, two were from drinking. I passed out at a bar and apparently they threw me out, woman I was with ended up calling a ambulance (thank God). I had a 3.44 blood alcohol level. The next time my friends couldn't find me inside the bar. It's because I had passed out, outside...on a live rail road track.
The absolute closest was a counterfeit OC. Luckily the guy i was riding around with knew what was happening and didn't just dump me outta the car. I "woke up" to about 7 Dr/nurses screaming at me. I honestly thought I was having a horrible nightmare, because I couldn't move my body at all. They all said they couldn't believe I actually came back. The reason they said that, is the same reason I couldn't move. My entire body was blue due to lack of oxygen because I had stopped breathing short time before we arrived at the hospital.
The most important lesson I have learned in my live is...Always, ALWAYS trust your gut!!!!!
Regardless of the situation, if something is telling you something or someone isn't right. You better listen to it, or you will learn the hard way.

Magnus

The rare instance where natural selection didn't take it's course.

28 More Replies...

JohnaldV

Oh hey! Glad to see ManyKudos being part of the Internet Historian Cinematic Universe!

OnyxVespidae

2y↑1

I used to climb the supports to the larger of the two playgrounds at the elementary school I went to. This one had a set of 3 large slides at one end (and a few smaller ones) and they were roughly.... around 15ft off the ground at the start. I managed to do this through training on the fireman's pole nearby. It was like.... 6ft off the ground. I learned how to scooch up it by wrapping my legs around and using my skin to add friction while my legs supported my weight. I would move up the pole by pulling, so no ground was lost. Eventually I made it to the top of the supports so I could watch people walk above me and go down the slide. The floor was a sort of grate so what I also used to do was poke my fingers through it and try to poke people's feet. I'm honestly surprised I still have all my fingers or at the very least didn't have any broken. Actually I'm surprised I never fell and killed myself either. Eventually the teachers took note and would stop me if I so much as hung out under the supports. I instead would then climb on the monkeybars.

DietrichGarbo

2y↑2

That phone thing. Oh my ex was notorious about having her phone in the purse and I would be in class getting messages over and over. It got to a point in which I would just pull the battery from my phone.

emiliano zamora

Rewatching this for the third time I just realized how hard internet historian is trying to be a stand up comedian during the sperm cell bit

Evan O

2y↑567

I hope this incognito guy makes it big eventually, he really deserves it

RudyTheNinja

2y↑1

They're like the same ppl
It's like we have early access to interdimensional YouTube

DARTHBRIX

2y↑6

@THE LIME we can only hope, but I doubt it will happen.

Peter Clarke

2y↑1

Who? 🤔

THE LIME

2y↑47

oh i hope he collabs with internet historian, theyd make a great team

Big Lad

2y↑33

@Terminator25483 yeah but internet historian kind of forgets to upload so we’re left with no other choice

1 More Replies...

rdrumm729

2y↑9

Mr. I Historian i discovered your videos while I was in the hospital with sepsis and all of your content got me through one of the most miserable experiences I have had to endure. Thanks 😊

Tim H

When I was 5 me and my family went to a nice restaurant. The day before I had seen someone flip their friend the bird, while smiling. A playful bird. We were eating on the patio and a window right behind us looked inside to a table where some older women were sitting. I proceeded to flip them off with both hands. One of the ladies kinda flipped out and said some things that in hindsight no one should say to a five year old kid. 🥺. The other lady was really nice and gave me a hug and said no worries. That was the day I learned how to say fuck you in sign language.

MusicSheep

2y↑11

When I was about 2 years old, I climbed a birdbath and the dish fell off and smashed me in the face, almost killing me. I want rushed to the hospital and got stitches. Apparently at any other angle, my baby brains would have been splattered across the backyard during the house party that was happening. I always think about the alternate universe where I died and my entire family and neighbors just see my corpse with brain matter strewn across the backyard.

Takua

I remember in elementary school when I ran face first into a branch pointed at me. And it was at a full sprint too. If the branch had been a couple centimeters higher it would have likely punched through my eye and into my skull. Unfortunately the scar disappeared, it literally looked like Luffy's face scar from OP.