You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly
Conway Twitty & Loretta Lynn Lyrics

You're the reason I'm ridin' 'round on recapped tyres
I can't afford to buy new tires because all our money goes to you.

An' you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on walls
I can't afford a dryer because all our money goes to you.

An' you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darling
Our children inherited your unattractive features.

Ah, but looks ain't everything
Appearance isn't the most important thing in life.

And money ain't everything
Money doesn't bring happiness.

But, I love you just the same
Despite everything, I still love you.

You're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop
I have to drink beer because I can't afford anything better thanks to you.

An' you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop
I can't afford to pamper myself because all our money goes to you.

I guess that we won't ever have, everything we need
We will never have enough because you always demand more.

'Cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed
Every time we manage to save up something, there's an unexpected expense related to you.

And that's the reason my good looks and my figure's gone
I had to sacrifice my health and body to take care of you.

And that's the reason I ain't got no hair to comb
Stress caused by you made my hair fall out.

Conway, why in the devil don't you gon'
Why don't you leave me alone?

And shave an' put on a clean pair of pants?
Try to improve your appearance for once.

Loretta, look at yourself
You look terrible.

I wish you'd take them curlers out of your hair
Your hair looks awful.

An' go put on a little bit of make up
Make yourself look presentable for once.

An' get out of the housecoat before supper
Change your clothes, please.

Ha well let me tell you somethin', Conway
You're in for a surprise.

Considerin' everything I went through today
I had a hard day because of you.

I look like a movie star
I still feel confident in my appearance despite everything.

Yeah, Ruth Cassidy
I look like a character from the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Thank you
Sarcastic response to Conway's earlier comments.

Besides that
In addition to what I just said.

All of our kids took after your part of our family anyway
Our children got their looks from you.

Oh they did, huh? What about the one's that's bald?
He got that from me.

Well, I guess you might say they took after me
Our children are a mix of both of us.