Fix
Corey James Bost Lyrics
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i said twice as much just to set you free
i know that i jumped the gun
you called my bluff
so i told you i'd run
give me what i deserve
tried to die for my sins
i got murdered in turn
we could do this alone
if you've got all my love
he said father please
i look at you now and my mom's all i see
you make me clench my teeth
i bite so hard i can barely speak
just know that i saw you kill
you murdered me once
and i guess then he's thrilled
i just hope you got your fix
whether he's feeling you up
in front of my kids
does he tell you nice things
does he make you feel something
that i never did
well just say that you meant it
his body is filling your frame
after you took my name
dear god you sent your only son
i cursed his name
i told him once
if fear can live
inside of love
don't write me down
i'm afraid of your son.
The lyrics in Corey James Bost's song Fix are about a man who made mistakes in his past and is struggling with the consequences of his actions in his present. He expresses remorse for jumping the gun and calling someone's bluff, which resulted in him getting hurt. He also acknowledges that he has sinned and tried to seek redemption but was met with murder in return. As a result, he feels like he has been killed and can barely speak.
The man talks about how he tried to do the right thing with his son, but his partner seems to have moved on and is with someone else. He questions if the new partner is treating his ex-partner better than he ever did, and wonders if she is happy now that she has moved on. He expresses his hope that his ex-partner has found what she is looking for, even if it means being with someone else.
Towards the end of the lyrics, the man addresses God, expressing his fear of God's son and blaming him for cursing his name. He reveals that he is afraid of the consequences of his actions and begs for forgiveness.
Overall, the song Fix is about coming to terms with one's past mistakes and trying to find redemption even when it feels impossible.
Line by Line Meaning
half of us is a better me
I am in a better place without you than I was with you.
i said twice as much just to set you free
I spoke more words than necessary, hoping you'd understand and leave me alone.
i know that i jumped the gun
I acted too hastily without thinking things through.
you called my bluff
You saw through my lies and manipulations.
so i told you i'd run
I said I would leave to avoid confronting my problems.
give me what i deserve
I want someone to treat me the way I treated you.
tried to die for my sins
I attempted to end my life to escape the consequences of my actions.
i got murdered in turn
I suffered as a result of my attempt to escape responsibility.
so i told my son
I sought comfort and guidance from my child.
we could do this alone
I wanted to isolate myself from others and ignore my problems.
if you've got all my love
I gave all my love to my child in an attempt to forget my past.
he said father please
My child pleaded with me for help and guidance.
i look at you now and my mom's all i see
I see my mother in you, realizing the mistakes she made that hurt me.
you make me clench my teeth
You frustrate and anger me.
i bite so hard i can barely speak
I am so angry that I have trouble expressing myself.
just know that i saw you kill
I saw you destroy our family.
you murdered me once
You hurt me deeply in the past.
and i guess then he's thrilled
You probably enjoy seeing me suffer.
i just hope you got your fix
I hope you got what you wanted, even though it hurts me.
whether he's feeling you up
Whether someone else is touching you inappropriately.
in front of my kids
In front of our children, who are forced to witness it.
does he tell you nice things
Does he say loving words to you?
does he make you feel something
Does he give you the emotional connection that I failed to provide?
that i never did
Even though I should have.
well just say that you meant it
Admit that you caused me pain on purpose.
his body is filling your frame
You are using someone else to fill the emptiness I left in you.
after you took my name
After you became a part of my life and took on my identity.
dear god you sent your only son
A plea to God for help, likening his situation to the sacrifice of Jesus.
i cursed his name
Expressing anger and frustration towards God.
i told him once
I have spoken to God in the past.
if fear can live
If fear can exist and flourish.
inside of love
Within the confines of a loving relationship.
don't write me down
Please don't judge me for my actions.
i'm afraid of your son.
I am afraid to face the consequences of my actions and am seeking forgiveness and understanding from a higher power.
Contributed by Madelyn A. Suggest a correction in the comments below.