Anything Goes
Count Basie / Tony Bennett Lyrics

Times have changed
The current era is different than the past

And we've often rewound the clock
We have often gone back in time to recall how things were

Since the Puritans got a shock
Since Puritans were surprised when they first landed on Plymouth Rock

When they landed on Plymouth Rock.
When Puritans landed on Plymouth Rock

If today
If in the present day

Any shock they should try to stem
If they were to try to prevent any surprise

'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock,
Instead of being surprised after landing on Plymouth Rock

Plymouth Rock would land on them.
They would be surprised by the Plymouth Rock

In olden days, a glimpse of stocking
In the past, seeing a bit of female leg was seen as a scandalous act

Was looked on as something shocking.
It was considered a shocking experience

But now, God knows,
But in today's world, it is impossible to say what is acceptable

Anything goes.
Anything is permissible

Good authors too who once knew better words
Even famous writers who used more complex language in the past

Now only use four-letter words
Nowadays only use abbreviated words

Writing prose.
To write prose or text

Anything goes.
Anything and everything is allowed

If driving fast cars you like,
If you like to drive fast cars

If low bars you like,
If you like to visit low-end bars

If old hymns you like,
If you enjoy older hymns

If bare limbs you like,
If you like exposed human limbs

If Mae West you like,
If you like Mae West, the famous actress

Or me undressed you like,
If you like me in my undressed state

Why, nobody will oppose.
No one will object to your interests

When ev'ry night the set that's smart is in-
When every night the most fashionable people attend

Truding in nudist parties in
Invading and participating in nudist parties

Studios.
Movie studios

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed in high society

When Missus Ned McLean (God bless her)
Mrs. Ned McLean, bless her soul

Can get Russian reds to "yes" her,
Can get Russians to agree with her

Then I suppose
I imagine

Anything goes.
Anything and everything is allowed

When Rockefeller still can hoard en-
When John D. Rockefeller can still hold onto

Ough money to let Max Gordon
Enough money to let Max Gordon, the famous show producer

Produce his shows,
Produce his plays and musicals

Anything goes.
Anything and everything is allowed

The world has gone mad today
The world has descended into madness

And good's bad today,
Good things are considered bad in present times

And black's white today,
What is bad today will be considered good next week

And day's night today,
The rules of reality have been flipped upside-down

And that gent today
And that person today

You gave a cent today
To whom you donated money today

Once had several chateaux.
Once owned many mansions or castles

When folks who still can ride in jitneys
When people who still travel by jitneys

Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Discover that the Vanderbilts and Whitneys

Lack baby clo'es,
Can't afford clothes for their babies

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

If Sam Goldwyn can with great conviction
If Sam Goldwyn can with complete confidence

Instruct Anna Sten in diction,
Teach Anna Sten the correct pronunciation of words

Then Anna shows
Anna performs

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

When you hear that Lady Mendl standing up
When you hear that Lady Mendl stands up

Now turns a handspring landing up-
In a modern surprise, turns a handspring and lands upright

On her toes,
On the tips of her toes

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed

Just think of those shocks you've got
Just think of the surprises you have experienced

And those knocks you've got
And the blows you have received

And those blues you've got
And the sadness you have felt

From that news you've got
From the news you have heard

And those pains you've got
And the pains you have suffered

(If any brains you've got)
(If you have any brains)

From those little radios.
From those small radios

So Missus R., with all her trimmin's,
So Mrs. R, with all her accessories

Can broadcast a bed from Simmons
Can publicly promote Simmons beds

'Cause Franklin knows
Because Franklin Roosevelt knows

Anything goes.
Anything is allowed