Mistletoe Bikini
Courtney Stodden Lyrics


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Hey, it's Courtney Cane
And I've been a very bad girl all year

Dear Santa, this is gonna sound crazy
I've had a crush on you all year, don't hate me
I don't want a doll or a shiny new bike
I just wanna huff on your pipe all night
Come and slay me
With your jingle bells, baby

So, kiss me under my mistletoe bikini
Tastes so sweet, like a candy cane martini
Lock me up with your cinnamon tongue
Don't stop, Santa, here I come
Kiss me
(Crack the whip, daddy)
Kiss me
(I really need it badly)
Kiss me
(Get a little naughty)
Come open me up and see

Dear Santa, last night was amazing
The way you slid into my DMs had me melting
And when you came over with your bag of tricks
I really liked the taste of your peppermint stick
Call me, maybe
After tonight, baby

So, kiss me under my mistletoe bikini
Tastes so sweet, like a candy cane martini
Lock me up with your cinnamon tongue
Don't stop, Santa, here I come
Kiss me
(Crack the whip, daddy)
Kiss me
(I really need it badly)
Kiss me
(Get a little naughty)
Come open me up and see

You've reached Santa's voicemail. Leave a message!
Hey, Santa? It's Courtney. Is Mrs. Claus there? Look, I know you're fat and all, but you can slide down my chimney any time. Oh, and by the way? You're steady as fuck!

So, kiss me under my mistletoe bikini
Tastes so sweet, like a candy cane martini
Lock me up with your cinnamon tongue
Don't stop, Santa, here I come
Kiss me
(Crack the whip, daddy)
Kiss me
(I really need it badly)
Kiss me
(Get a little naughty)
Come open me up and see

So, kiss me under my mistletoe bikini
Tastes so sweet, like a candy cane martini
Lock me up with your cinnamon tongue
Don't stop, Santa, here I come
Kiss me
(Crack the whip, daddy)
Kiss me
(I really need it badly)
Kiss me




(Get a little naughty)
Come open me up and see

Overall Meaning

The lyrics of Courtney Stodden's "Mistletoe Bikini" track are filled with innuendos and double entendres that are not immediately apprehensible, and may be considered somewhat controversial. The singer begins by introducing herself as "Courtney Cane" and admitting to being "a very bad girl all year." She continues to address Santa Claus directly, confessing that she has had a crush on him all year and that she wants to "huff on his pipe all night." These lines may be seen as suggestive and allude to both oral sex and drug abuse. The chorus sees her asking Santa to kiss her under her mistletoe bikini, flavored like a candy cane martini, and to continue locking her up with his cinnamon tongue.


The bridge, where Stodden leaves a message on Santa's voicemail, is also filled with sexual innuendos, and may be considered in bad taste by some listeners. She suggests that Santa could slide down her chimney anytime, and then bizarrely compliments him by saying he's "steady as f*ck." Thus, as a whole, the song's lyrics revolve around Stodden's sexually charged pursuit of Santa Claus and the double entendres and suggestive references that come with it.


Line by Line Meaning

Hey, it's Courtney Cane
Greeting, it's me, Courtney Cane.


And I've been a very bad girl all year
I have not behaved well for the past year.


Dear Santa, this is gonna sound crazy
Addressing Santa Claus, this might come off as crazy.


I've had a crush on you all year, don't hate me
I have had a romantic interest in you for an entire year, please do not resent me for this.


I don't want a doll or a shiny new bike
I do not desire a toy or a bicycle that gleams.


I just wanna huff on your pipe all night
I only want to inhale deeply from your smoking apparatus all night long.


Come and slay me
Come and conquer me (sexually).


With your jingle bells, baby
With your testicles, baby.


So, kiss me under my mistletoe bikini
So, kiss me while underneath my bikini made of mistletoe.


Tastes so sweet, like a candy cane martini
Tastes very sweet, like a candy cane infused martini.


Lock me up with your cinnamon tongue
Imprison me with your tongue that tastes of cinnamon.


Don't stop, Santa, here I come
Do not cease this activity, Santa, I am about to orgasm.


Kiss me
Kiss me passionately.


(Crack the whip, daddy)
(Dominate me, daddy)


(I really need it badly)
(I require it now.)


(Get a little naughty)
(Let's engage in some sexual acts.)


Come open me up and see
Come and explore my body further.


Dear Santa, last night was amazing
Addressing Santa Claus again, last night was incredible.


The way you slid into my DMs had me melting
Your direct message to me had me feeling sexually gratified.


And when you came over with your bag of tricks
And when you brought your bag full of sexual skills.


I really liked the taste of your peppermint stick
I really enjoyed the taste of your penis (compared to peppermint).


Call me, maybe
Contact me, possibly for another sexual encounter.


(After tonight, baby)
(After tonight, baby)


You've reached Santa's voicemail. Leave a message!
This is Santa Claus' voicemail. Please leave a message!


Hey, Santa? It's Courtney. Is Mrs. Claus there?
Hello, Santa? It's Courtney. Could I speak to Mrs. Claus, please?


Look, I know you're fat and all, but you can slide down my chimney any time.
I understand you are overweight, but you can enter my house through the chimney anytime you'd like.


Oh, and by the way? You're steady as fuck!
Also, you are very good in bed!


So, kiss me under my mistletoe bikini
So, kiss me while underneath my bikini made of mistletoe.


Tastes so sweet, like a candy cane martini
Tastes very sweet, like a candy cane infused martini.


Lock me up with your cinnamon tongue
Imprison me with your tongue that tastes of cinnamon.


Don't stop, Santa, here I come
Do not cease this activity, Santa, I am about to orgasm.


Kiss me
Kiss me passionately.


(Crack the whip, daddy)
(Dominate me, daddy)


(I really need it badly)
(I require it now.)


(Get a little naughty)
(Let's engage in some sexual acts.)


Come open me up and see
Come and explore my body further.




Contributed by Evelyn G. Suggest a correction in the comments below.
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Comments from YouTube:

@JAMPD3

I can't believe Courtney just invented Christmas and simultaneously saved it all in one video. Iconic.

@stick2thevelcro8

I have actual tears. This is hilarious. Courtney, i love you. Fan since the beginning.

@lq1360

I hate myself for clicking on this.

@katiepasserini

LQ agreed

@jewjewton5432

Then better watch other MK Ultra victims like Brittney Spears or Lady Gaga

@epresley8324

LQ hahahaha SAME! It's a train wreck!

@br3ana874

LQ I know right she is 16

@greengrassofhome

LQ I don't. I am perfectly happy to be a degenerate.

@Beautifulcece11

love your video Courtney. you have a beautiful voice. Your song is addicting....

@CourtneyStoddenOfficial

Thank you, Christina! xo-Courtney

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